My 'boyfriend' wants to be friends before lovers??!! It's driving me crazy!!!

[1337lizard]

If you suspect he might have an STD then you should confront him about it. Ask him what he wanted to tell you that first night. If he gets coy or doesn't remember, ask him straight up if he has an STD. You've been with him long enough that he shouldn't be offended by you asking.

[tropigal82]

Ok so I have just seen him.

God its amazing how seeing his big smile makes my heart skip a beat every time. Amazing.

So... he was on a bike ride this morning, practising for a 1000 mile bike ride that he plans to do in June/July. He did a detour and dropped by for coffee at my place. His best friend Dave was with him on the bike ride so he came in for coffee too.

I made sure that I was looking as nice as possible, in a pink top and skinny jeans. Actually I've lost 10kg recently so I am feeling pretty good about myself. I showed them my art that I am working on, they were both impressed, and then they came through to the kitchen and I made us all a cup of coffee.

We had a lovely chat, and it was great to meet his best friend, who recently got married. They stayed for about 40 mins, and God, I was so happy to see 'him', with his radiating smile and emerald green eyes. He asked me how my new job was going (I'm working as a hotel receptionist at a luxury romantic hotel) I said it was going really well but sometimes the continual arrival and departure of loved up couples, and having to listen to them having loud sex sessions in the hotel rooms, well, it did get a bit sickening!!! I said, thank God I won't be working there on Valentines Day...!!! LOL!!!

He said "so what are you doing on Valentines Day?" I said, I didn't know, and he said that he will cook me lunch on Valentines Day! I was surprised, because I had not dared to mention Valentines day until then, so I was so happy that he said he'd cook for me that special day. What a pleasant surprise!!! He then said "so what day is that?" and I said it was next Sunday, and then in a joking tone I said "the dreaded day...haha" he looked at me, eyes piercing righ through me and a smile stretched from ear to ear, his head titled back slightly, and said, "why so dreaded???" and I, feeling a bit lost for words as I was lost in his gaze and weak at the sight of his unending smile, replied "it just.... it just is..." as I smile back at him, gazing into his eyes and wanting so badly for him to kiss me again on the lips and wrap me in his strong arms.

As he was leaving he said "call me tommorrow sometime." Smile still broad on his beautiful face. And off they went on their bikes.

Although he purports that we are 'friends' surely all this points to something more. If he didn't see something more developing then surely he wouldn't be acting in this way... I don't know... I just know that the last two or three times I've seen him, we've both had huge smiles on our faces.

Watch this space...

[Lite]

It sounds like he cares enough about you as a friend to be concerned that he's going to **** the relationship up and lose you both as a lover and a friend.

[tropigal82]

Yes you are right there, he has even said something similar along those lines. But still, it's frustrating because I can't keep this game up much longer, whereby he keeps me at arms length physically but gets closer and closer to me emotionally. I know he is afraid of hurting me if the relationship doesn't work out. But if you never try you never know, and I would rather at least try. If it doesn't work out then it;s not meant to be, but at least then I could close that chapter and move on, he will always be a special friend to me even if things don't work out. We either need to be romantic or platonic, I can't deal with hanging somewhere in between!!!

[tropigal82]

***Valentines Day Update!!!*** (if anyone is still reading this thread... LOL)

Saw him today, spent about 6 hours together. His 'valentines day surprise' was to take me to the Saatchi Gallery (very famous art gallery in London) and then for a late lunch at a little Italian restaurant. We had a nice time although he's still keeping his distance physically. Although whenever I touched him he didn't 'recoil'. In fact even when we were having a discussion about the clothes-making course I did, I was talking about sewing a pair of jeans together and that I could never get the fly right, and he said 'which bit?' and I put my hand on his crotch and winked!!! Ha ha... Cheeky. But he didn't object! :-)

So I was trying to 'garner' information about whether he has another 'love interest' (i.e another woman) - seeing as it was Valentines Day, and we were talking about 'Valentines Day' Cards and we both agreed they were a bit silly and tacky. Then I joked "don't tell me you haven't received any from your legions of female admirers (tongue in cheek) and he said "I don't have legions of female admirers. None of them would put up with me. You're the only one who put's up with me." (meaning, puts up with his grumpy moods and the amount of time he spends with his male friends.) Later on we were talking about our plans for summer. I said I plan to drive down to Cornwall (5 hour drive away) and stay with my brother who lives by the ocean, maybe do some surfing. Anyway he surprised me by saying "can I come with you?". Wow... so he wants to come on holiday with me 5 or 6 months from now, WTF. I can't figure this guy out!!!

As I drove him home (he didn't have his car this weekend) he asked me these exact words, "do you see yourself getting married ever?" and I said "yeah, I'd like to one day. But I wouldn't marry someone just for the sake of it. It would have to be the right reasons." and he said, "for love?" and I said "yes." Then, after a brief pause I said, "so do you see yourself getting married one day?" and he replied "one day, but I'm in no great rush." HMMM.... so I really dunno what to make of that, do guys normally ask these things to girls they are not interested in, or why would he ask me that? Strange! (We are both 27).

At the end of the day we went to meet his grandparents (first time I had met them) and had a cup of tea. His grandparents were amazing and I had a great chat with his grandfather about the KGB, the Russian Gulags and the War e.t.c. They seemed to like me!!! :-D

----// So that is the update, over and out!!! ///---- ;-)

[nowomannocry]

not reading that text wall.

I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO BE FRIENDS BEFORE LOVERS WITH YOU ASSHOLE WOMEN

[VincenzoG91]

I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO BE FRIENDS BEFORE LOVERS WITH YOU ASSHOLE WOMEN

Well, at least you're not bitter about it.

[Petit Papillon]

I think this thread is dead since the guy turned out to be a mega moron.nowomannocry learn how to read the dates so you won't bump old threads.