He has a girlfriend... is he into me or not?

[IndiReloaded]

Wow, you two are harsh. LOL. Mother and daughter...?

[scd]

Even if he broke up with his gf, I wouldn't invite him on a 'sightseeing tour' nor would I want to date him. I already said that.

[IndiReloaded]

Okay, good luck then. Feel free to post some advice to someone else who needs it.

[scd]

If you think I'm qualified to give advice being so 'naive' and all...

[IndiReloaded]

Hey, did I call you naive?? Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater. Besides, I happen to think people have more to contribute from having walked through the fire. Its easy to pontificate if one has never actually experienced what you have and never had to find the strength to say "no".

Go for it. You have as much to offer as anyone else here.

[scd]

So I wrote to him and finally got his reply. We both took our time. The fact that he called what we have a 'friendship' makes me think I totally got the wrong idea and feel even worse now. He didn't mention anything about having feelings for me AND that he fond of his girlfriend so I guess that answers my question then. He only ever thought of me as a friend. Ouch. I just can't understand ... maybe he is just a nice person. as someone said, maybe he is like this to everyone who knows? I guess my imagination ran away with me and I feel stupid for that.

[Mona_B]

Don't feel stupid. Could be that he had some problems in his relationship and was just looking for someone to have a good time with. Maybe he wasn't sure what he should do but decided to stick with his relationship. You will never find out. From what you wrote, he was always nice to you, so leave it at that. You can avoid this in the future if you take it serious when someone tells you he is in a relationship and don't get attached to the person :-). It sounds like your expectations where too high, because he did tell you about his girlfriend. Can't blame him for that.

[IndiReloaded]

Based on what you wrote, I would say he was certainly considering you, if not outright leading you on. So, he's not all that nice of a person, IMO and sounds kinda selfish. There are plenty of men and women who use the 'nice person' persona to attract susceptible people like yourself. I would feel sorry for his GF, if I were you. It seems like he's treating her like a placeholder until something better comes along.

None of this changes the earlier posts about your own responsibility in pursuing a guy with a GF, tho. At least you have some closure and, as Mona says, now you know to avoid this kind of thing in future.

[scd]

Thanks for your continued advice and support. It means a lot to me. I am going to take some time away from him. I certainly need the space! I already started to decide to date other men again and today I went on a date. Not sure what will happen later but he was nice enough. I just have to keep myself busy.

I never said to him outright that I needed space but I think he figured it out. He said he's enjoyed our 'chats' (ie emails) and considers me a good friend blah blah but for me I think it'll be a long time before I can go back to before and just think of him as JUST a friend. I know it can be done but I definitely need some time away.

[stuckies]

And you know what? You're a proof to me that there are those biatches out there who don't care about guys being in relationship to someone. They also do everything so the guy starts to be interested in them.I smell women like you from 1000's of kilometers. I always spot a good and a bad woman. I tell you.

unfair - she's single. He isn't.
Where's the bile directed toward him?