cheated on my boyfriend

[Wakeup]

Finally, a voice of reason (that isn't ME).

your ego is showing.

[Love'sReject]

your ego is showing.

Yeah, well, in matters of morality and integrity, what difference does a slight show of an otherwise tiny ego matter? The fact is, I stand for what's right and clearly certain others *cough* are not.

[Wakeup]

Whats integrity and morality have to do with YOU overinflating your own ego?

[Love'sReject]

What does that have to do with ensuring this girl gets the proper advice and doesn't screw over other guys?

[searock]

And it's really ridiculous too - I already said that I think cheating is wrong. He doesn't believe it for some reason - whatever.

Wakeup, if you mean that it wasn't a justification, I agree. I do think it was the cause. She certainly was mistaken in putting herself in that tempting position. But I also think that if she had been satisfied with her relationship, she wouldn't even have wanted to put herself in that position. The fact that she wanted to should have been enough for her to realize that she should have broken up as soon as possible.

[Love'sReject]

You can't say something is wrong and then justify it. "Cause" means nothing; she CHOSE to cheat. Cheating is completely morally absolute.

[searock]

Again: this thread is NOT about whether cheating is right or wrong. Jeezus.

She chose to cheat and it was wrong, but she wouldn't have chosen that if she had been satisfied with her relationship in the first place (I do not mean this as a moral justification, just as a logical cause). She should have realized that the relationship was over BEFORE even considering putting herself in such a situation.

[Love'sReject]

I'm not making that point; I am saying that when one WRONGS another, they should not beat around the bush but just confess. Doing wrong compounded by apologizing wrong is adding wrong to wrong.

[searock]

If she wanted to apologize, of course she should confess.

She doesn't want to apologize though, she wants to break up.

[Wakeup]

No excuses, just the honest to God truth. She cheated. That alone is enough for a guy to hear.

LR.. you have no idea just how wrong you are there. We have a thread a day from codependent, insecure people who ask us if they should stay with a cheater.

Wakeup, if you mean that it wasn't a justification, I agree. I do think it was the cause.

There is no reasons to cheat. People need to bone up and quit using things like "causes" to cheat. No need to stay with someone you're not getting all your needs met with. You leave or you work on whats missing. Those "causes" you refer to are reason to break up ~ Not Cheat!

But I also think that if she had been satisfied with her relationship, she wouldn't even have wanted to put herself in that position.

This is just silly. Even you are attracted to your bf's childhood friend.. you would certainly want to be with him if you could be if you were certainl it wouldn't jeopardise your relationship and you claim to be satisfied with your guy. When temptation arises then consequences are often forgotten. That's why I always say, don't put yourself in precarious positions (like sleeping in your opposite sex friends' bed for instance).

The fact that she wanted to should have been enough for her to realize that she should have broken up as soon as possible.

So, I should break up with my sweety because I want to do Alexander Skarsgard of True Blood? Trust me, I don't want to break up with Mr. Wakeup but I'd certainly want to act on an opportunity like that. The thing is.. I wouldn't.

[Love'sReject]

LR.. you have no idea just how wrong you are there. We have a thread a day from codependent, insecure people who ask us if they should stay with a cheater.

You might be right. However, he should be given a chance to show he's either a pssy or a decent guy.

She doesn't want to apologize though, she wants to break up.

Well, if she is not callous then she will WANT to apologize (one with a conscience doesn't wrong someone without apologizing).

[Wakeup]

You might be right. However, he should be given a chance to show he's either a pssy or a decent guy.

Why?

Well, if she is not callous then she will WANT to apologize (one with a conscience doesn't wrong someone without apologizing).

She can apologise for the relationship not working out the way they'd hoped. There is no reason (especially not because you think he should know) that she needs to hurt his self-esteem even more than it will be hit by the breakup.

[searock]

No need to stay with someone you're not getting all your needs met with. You leave or you work on whats missing. Those "causes" you refer to are reason to break up ~ Not Cheat!

This is exactly the point I'm trying to make... exactly! She should have broken up BEFORE reaching the point of wanting to cheat (not just daydream or something - actually cheat).

This is just silly. Even you are attracted to your bf's childhood friend.. you would certainly want to be with him if you could be if you were certainl it wouldn't jeopardise your relationship and you claim to be satisfied with your guy.

But that's the point - if I weren't satisfied with my guy, I wouldn't care whether the relationship would be jeopardized or not.

That's why I always say, don't put yourself in precarious positions (like sleeping in your opposite sex friends' bed for instance).

Agreed!

So, I should break up with my sweety because I want to do Alexander Skarsgard of True Blood? Trust me, I don't want to break up with Mr. Wakeup but I'd certainly want to act on an opportunity like that. The thing is.. I wouldn't.

We all daydream and fantasize and it's normal, but from my understanding, the OP actually had the intention to sleep with the guy, it wasn't just a fantasy... she wouldn't have gone back to his place otherwise. I want to do Alexander too, so I wouldn't put myself in a position in which I would be extremely tempted, because I am satisfied of my relationship and wouldn't want to risk destroying it over something so small and stupid. She obviously didn't care anymore at that point: she should have never even reached that point.

[Love'sReject]

So you're saying he shouldn't be told? Hooray, subterfuge. Yeah, you're right; it's his dumbass fault for getting cheated on. It's all his fault.

No guy with testicles wants subterfuge in place of the truth. And your idea here lets her off the hook.

[searock]

*rolls eyes*