Would You Want To Know

[onesexyblonde]

Then stop lying to him.

i will will geeze with him its just eaier to lie than tell truth hes so hard to talk to

[HeartIsAching]

You asked. Don't ask questions if you don't want to hear the answers.

[onesexyblonde]

You asked. Don't ask questions if you don't want to hear the answers.

i do want to know the awnsers and i appricate everyones help im just upset with the situation

[HeartIsAching]

I can understand that - to some extent.

I've never been in your shoes, so I can't understand completely.

[onesexyblonde]

i dont expect you ro understand completly just im hurt and scared and confused and im permently dmaged and i needed help which is what i got and am entirly thankful for

[HeartIsAching]

Sweetie - You said you're getting therapy, right? That's a good start.

I do understand to some extent. I grew up with a mother who's likely got BPD. The irony is that if you grow up abused, you turn into an abuser, or learn to be abused... usually both. I got both. Learned better through the legal system - take from that what you will.

One of the hardest things to do is to learn how to stop getting into abusive relationships, to learn what to look for and what to avoid. I haven't spoken to my mother voluntarily in ~10 years. My wife is going to meet her for the first time in a couple of weeks and I'm not looking forward to it. I honestly don't think she's strong enough.

[onesexyblonde]

Sweetie - You said you're getting therapy, right? That's a good start.

I do understand to some extent. I grew up with a mother who's likely got BPD. The irony is that if you grow up abused, you turn into an abuser, or learn to be abused... usually both. I got both. Learned better through the legal system - take from that what you will.

One of the hardest things to do is to learn how to stop getting into abusive relationships, to learn what to look for and what to avoid. I haven't spoken to my mother voluntarily in ~10 years. My wife is going to meet her for the first time in a couple of weeks and I'm not looking forward to it. I honestly don't think she's strong enough.

im very sorry to hear about you and your mother and i wish you the best but do you really think this relationship is abusive?

and yes i m getting therapy but i dont think its working

[RobsGirl]

Oh god, is he starting about his mother again.....

[HeartIsAching]

Told ya he was a troll.

No, I don't necessarily think your relationship is abusive. After three years, who wouldn't be getting a bit... peeved? Shit, the man's practically a saint waiting this long without just dumping you - but the behavior in regards to raising his voice is abusive. Does that make sense? He can have behaviors that are abusive without the relationship being abusive overall.

Honestly, I'd have been gone after six months, without some sort of believable explanation. I wouldn't have raised my voice, I would've just moved on. I've lived in a sexless "relationship", and frankly, it's just not worth it.

[HeartIsAching]

If your therapist isn't working out for you, seek another one. Therapy is art, some artists are better than others.

[RobsGirl]

lol, therapy isn't art.

[HeartIsAching]

It's not science. Science you can quantify.

[rob1984]

Don't feed the troll HIA

[RobsGirl]

I never said it was science, I said it wasn't art. Stfu Rob, get over it. Stop trying to mess things up with my new friends on here.

[onesexyblonde]

If your therapist isn't working out for you, seek another one. Therapy is art, some artists are better than others.

Told ya he was a troll.

No, I don't necessarily think your relationship is abusive. After three years, who wouldn't be getting a bit... peeved? Shit, the man's practically a saint waiting this long without just dumping you - but the behavior in regards to raising his voice is abusive. Does that make sense? He can have behaviors that are abusive without the relationship being abusive overall.

Honestly, I'd have been gone after six months, without some sort of believable explanation. I wouldn't have raised my voice, I would've just moved on. I've lived in a sexless "relationship", and frankly, it's just not worth it.

so now im not worth it o goody at really boosted my self estem ok i get what your saying and he may have some abusive behavios but he would never hit me abd i understand he does deserve an explanation i just dont know how to tell him an i dont think its my therapist just therapy in general i dont think is working