I dont like the way he treats me. Advice please.

[michelle23]

Clueless once again. A dramatic personality change when drunk does not point to alcoholism. Some people get happy on booze and others get angry but it does ot make them an alcoholic. Habitual and addictive use of alcohol makes you an alcoholic, not what it does to your personality.

People in my family are alcohol dependent and i have researched this topic. It is a sign of alcoholism i will find the link for you tomorrow.alcoholism is not just about frequency. One of my friends drinks twice a week. She gets so f**ked up that she goes home with strange men, has been raped, ended up in hospital numeerous times needing stitches etc from falling, nearly lost her eye, has had her stomach pumped, and been arrested 4 times. She doesnt drink daily but she IS an alcoholic IMO.

[michelle23]

Give up guys, you cant help someone who doesnt want help. Unless we tell her hes mr prince charming himself she wont listen so go ahead luv, have fun with your knight in shining armour. Maybe hell get you pregnant, start cheating and give you the clap and then even beat you. All signs of love and passion

[Valixy]

It could be that some of the things that have occurred in this relationship and its general tone have a lot to do with what happened to you when you were 13, Kandi. You were drugged by medicine then, not fully conscious and you were molested by a stronger and older person you trusted. This could have represented your first sexual experience or it influenced pretty much the way you 'expect' to interact sexually with someone, and the guilt, secrecy and impotence that surrounded you for a long time must have been traumatic.

Many similar situations have happened between you and this guy and you must be able to identify them. He somehow keeps recreating all your drama though. And I don't mean only the sexual aspect that could even be some kind of game that you enjoyed... People's sexuality has particularities just like their personalities, so no problem with that as long as people are happy, but he often goes too far and besides he doesn't care, doesn't love you, makes you unhappy and wastes important time of your life.

Unfortunately you haven't met a guy who loves you and has similar sexual tendencies, who could stimulate you through role plays or naturally but someone who really doesn't have anything to offer you than the empty and the authentic abuse experience again and again. You can try to decorate this consciously or otherwise the way you like it, but he won't change and won't make you feel different. When you'll start seeing him for what he is, an abuser, and not for what you'd like him to be, a lover, maybe you'll finally feel that you've had enough and do the right thing for yourself. You deserve better.

[horndog]

People in my family are alcohol dependent and i have researched this topic. It is a sign of alcoholism i will find the link for you tomorrow.alcoholism is not just about frequency. One of my friends drinks twice a week. She gets so f**ked up that she goes home with strange men, has been raped, ended up in hospital numeerous times needing stitches etc from falling, nearly lost her eye, has had her stomach pumped, and been arrested 4 times. She doesnt drink daily but she IS an alcoholic IMO.

Michelle, post whatever link you want, It does not make your earlier statement any more correct. Personality change when one is drinking does not make one an alcoholic. Now, the binge drinking of your friend is a sign of alcoholism but you do not need to drink every day or every week to be an alcoholic. Personality change when drinking can be a side effect of being drunk, but that does not make you an alcoholic. I drink beer a few times a month and rarely get drunk (maybe 1-2 times per year) but when I do drink I tend to relax more and my personality becomes more carefree but I do not drink just to get drunk or binge drink like your friend. I am the furthest thing from and alcoholic and I actually dump a lot of beer down the drain when it gets old and skunky from sitting in my fridge for too long.

Alcohol can do many different things to different people but a personality change on a drunk person who is not a binge drinker or addicted to alcohol does not make an alcoholic.

[IndiReloaded]

If he is a good guy and treats you right most of the time, I think you should give him another chance. Everybody deserves a second chance. Don't turn your back on him in such a cruel way.

This was sarcasm, just to be clear.

I don't have anything else to add. Her last post is unintelligible. I don't speak single-digit IQ.

[Kandi]

Thank you valixy and a few others. You helped me. You made me feel good by believing me and I really will apply what you said. I really did take it to heart. I was being sarcastic as some of you others were. That's why my last comment said what it did. Anybody else, especially the last few posters, I wish I could spit in your face.

[namemyname]

Anybody else, especially the last few posters, I wish I could spit in your face.

Such a classy girl.

Come back in a month and update us when he has you working the streets for him, or screwing his friends while he takes pics for internet purchase.

[michelle23]

Michelle, post whatever link you want, It does not make your earlier statement any more correct. Personality change when one is drinking does not make one an alcoholic. Now, the binge drinking of your friend is a sign of alcoholism but you do not need to drink every day or every week to be an alcoholic. Personality change when drinking can be a side effect of being drunk, but that does not make you an alcoholic. I drink beer a few times a month and rarely get drunk (maybe 1-2 times per year) but when I do drink I tend to relax more and my personality becomes more carefree but I do not drink just to get drunk or binge drink like your friend. I am the furthest thing from and alcoholic and I actually dump a lot of beer down the drain when it gets old and skunky from sitting in my fridge for too long.

Alcohol can do many different things to different people but a personality change on a drunk person who is not a binge drinker or addicted to alcohol does not make an alcoholic.

You missed my point. if drink makes you calm and happy and relaxed-that is NOT an indication of alcoholism. She said this guy is a different person when drunk. If you go from being as nice as pie to a horrible, nasty person-that is a sign of alcoholism. If you go from being gentle, kind, caring, never been in a fight sober-to beating the f**k outa people when drunk-that is a sign of alcoholism. I said a DRAMATIC personality change where you are completely different when your sober to when your drunk

[horndog]

You missed my point. if drink makes you calm and happy and relaxed-that is NOT an indication of alcoholism. She said this guy is a different person when drunk. If you go from being as nice as pie to a horrible, nasty person-that is a sign of alcoholism. If you go from being gentle, kind, caring, never been in a fight sober-to beating the f**k outa people when drunk-that is a sign of alcoholism. I said a DRAMATIC personality change where you are completely different when your sober to when your drunk

no Michelle, what you are describing is alcohol making somebody and asshole, not an alcoholic. You cant have it both ways. So if a guy who is a genuine asshole sober but rarely drinks becomes a gentle, kind and caring when he drinks he too is an alcoholic? lol. Alcoholism is an addiction to alcohol and not determined by what the side effect to you personality is when you are drinking.

[michelle23]

Because your an expert? I have researched alcoholism in detail. I have even attended AA meetings for relatives of alcoholics. Four people in my family are alcoholics. I know what I am talking about but I don't care what you think.

http://news.health.com/2013/04/19/6-subtle-signs-youve-got-a-drinking-problem/

[horndog]

Because your an expert? I have researched alcoholism in detail. I have even attended AA meetings for relatives of alcoholics. Four people in my family are alcoholics. I know what I am talking about but I don't care what you think.

http://news.health.com/2013/04/19/6-subtle-signs-youve-got-a-drinking-problem/

NO Michelle, I am not an expert. I do however understand alcoholism. There is no point In attempting to talk any more sense into you on this subject so I GIVE UP!. Some people, such as yourself, are so convinced that that they know what they are talking about that they don't realize how closed minded they are to the truth. Have a great day!

[michelle23]

lol take a good look in the mirror. lmao. I provided a link and all for you but your too pig headed to admit when you are wrong. Hard to believe you are a grown man really. SMH

http://alcoholism.about.com/od/about/a/symptoms.htm

[horndog]

lol take a good look in the mirror. lmao. I provided a link and all for you but your too pig headed to admit when you are wrong. Hard to believe you are a grown man really. SMH

http://alcoholism.about.com/od/about/a/symptoms.htm

Ok michelle, here we go again, Do I really need to read your sources for you? geez, give me a break. Your source is titled "7 signs you have a drinking problem"

It starts out as clearly stating:

"Are you–or is someone you know–one of them? Generally it’s not just one behavior that is cause for concern, but several occurring at once"

Notice the "not just one behavior, but several occurring at once" part"? Personality change alone Is not a sign of alcoholism. However, if you are consuming alcohol to change or mask your personality then it could be a sign of alcoholism but that is only in those who are exhibiting other signs. I stand firm in saying that the guy or girl who gets schnockered who rarely drinks and becomes an asshole is not an alcoholic, but just a drunk asshole.

Now, I am more than willing to admit when I am wrong, but you have yet to ever prove me wrong. As far as "Hard to believe you are a grown man really" goes, I find that it is generally those lacking in their own maturity that make such comments.

[michelle23]

lol that is why you were telling me I lack emotionally maturity? Hypocrite. Just go back to whatever cave you crawled out of. It is unproductive arguing with you as you are so good at pointing out what you think is right or wrong but refuse to ever listen to anything constructive that I say. The person we are talking about in this thread does have signs of alcoholism. You can argue that all you want. I don't care and if you didn't nit pick so much and read into every tiny little detail then you would see that what I said IS technically correct

[horndog]

lol that is why you were telling me I lack emotionally maturity? Hypocrite. Just go back to whatever cave you crawled out of. It is unproductive arguing with you as you are so good at pointing out what you think is right or wrong but refuse to ever listen to anything constructive that I say. The person we are talking about in this thread does have signs of alcoholism. You can argue that all you want. I don't care and if you didn't nit pick so much and read into every tiny little detail then you would see that what I said IS technically correct

Sure, ok, if you say so.