Prenup - I prepare for marriage, he prepares for divorce

[michelle23]

Whenever this topic comes up, I notice how cynical, bitter and greedy some men are. I wouldn't marry a man with an attitude like that. Men b**tch and whine about how unequal or unfair the divorce is on them but do you expect someone else to provide for YOUR children? That is the main reason why the woman walks away with more in some cases because there are children in the middle who NEED to be looked after. They need a roof over their heads, clothes on their back, food in their belly and a good education and as the father-you are obliged to pay for half of that! And I also notice the men b**tching and whining about it are single who don't have kids or have never been divorced and say they would never marry for this reason.. well good because when you get married you are not supposed to be preparing for a divorce

[smackie9]

No when the wife didn't work or is over the age of 52 they are entitled for more. The laws here in BC, consider that 52 is an "unemployable" age. Plus they did fight, but the lawyers were sucking the finaces dry. One friend (him)was in the courts for 8 years because his ex felt entitled to more money. Over 30 grand was wasted. She never did get more money, everyone loses.

[Wakeup]

Well at least they had an opinion based on the topic at hand (should the union actually dissolve) rather then just posting once to complain about how they complained.

Topic has ended, Op's issue resolved. over and out.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Michelle, I would expect this attitude from you, as you'd be bringing nothing in need of protection into a marriage. Same attitude as the OP, who also stands to lose nothing, should things go badly. You label those who want to protect themselves as bitter and greedy, but could you imagine losing your house to someone who didn't pay for it?

I think the cynicism comes in when women get an unequal share, particularly when haven't contributed as much to the assets. I think that there are plenty of men who share a great deal in the raising of their children, and I think far too often in this argument, women take for granted that they bare all of that responsibility in the marriage, so that's their contribution or whatever. Not even close to reality in the two parent homes I've grown up in and around, even when the woman is a homemaker the husband still pitches in around the house.

I also don't think men are bitter about paying child support. It's a bitterness about losing things that the other person didn't contribute to, and also over alimony. Alimony is the craziest thing to me. It's child support for an adult, and it is sickening.

[michelle23]

I agree with you about alimony. There is no alimony where I am from. But I am not a gold digger. If I divorced, I would expect nothing from him. I would want to keep the house if I had children but other than that I would just expect him to pay for his kids and spend quality time with them.

The thing that irritates me is men assuming that women want all their assets and will bleed them dry. Yes there are a small minority of women like that but its your own fault if you marry a trophy-its easy to spot the gold digging whores.

If you are marrying someone you trust and know this person is a good person then why do you need to protect yourself with a prenup? B&T took nothing from her ex husband. My bfs mother had to take his father to court just to get some money for the kids. She got nothing else from him or wanted anything else. When my parents went through a temporary seperation, she moved out and tried to get a counsel house for her and my sister as she knew she couldn't afford the mortgage on her own. Women are not freaking ogres just after your wallet

[Boisdevie]

As an aside I saw a brilliant thing on TV the other day. A guy starts talking to a woman and asks her out for drink. She's not interested so he says OK and walks a few paces away to get into his car (a Ferrari or Lambo) and then the woman says 'wow, is that your car. Perhaps we can have a drink in the bar down the road' to which he replies 'no thanks, I can't stand gold diggers'.

[Starnique]

I can't say I know any woman that has been left high and dry....I have seen the opposite. I know men are left to keep the wife in the same lifestlye as when they were married. She stays in the house with the kids, most of the bills and mortagage paid by him while he lives in a basement suite eating Kraft dinner.

I guess in situations like this, it's cheaper to keep her. Look at Kobe Bryant. No prenup. It was better in the end to make it work with that bitch. He should've listened to his mother. She was pure disgusted with him. Lol

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Michelle, I agree, that most are not out to take you for everything. People do change though, so very nice people on both sides can become really ugly during divorce, and often think they're entitled to all kinds of things.

In these situations you speak of, how significant were the assets involved? If its just 1 house and 2 cars, then it's not so messy, but when there are multiple homes, vehicles, boats, businesses, etc. involved things change greatly, and it's stupid not to protect those things. When you start talking about hundreds of thousands and millions of dollars, you're an idiot not to protect yourself. I don't see what the big deal about signing the prenup is if there's no ill intent on the side of the person being asked to sign. If I were going to marry a wealthy woman, I'd have no problem signing one.

[michelle23]

But it is the lack of trust. Why marry someone you don't trust? Plus if you have all those freaking assets and are a bloody gazillionaire, does it really matter if a boat or car is taken away from you? sheesh!

I have no intention of marrying a rich geezer anyway. I am happy out with my practically poor man lol. We will work our way up together.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Believe it or not, many millionaires have worked very hard for what they have, and your mentality of, "what does it really matter to you" is exactly why people should protect themselves.

You don't have to be a geezer to have assets either.

I guess I shouldn't expect an unemployed chick to understand wanting to hold on to what one has worked for.

[michelle23]

temporarily unemployed. I have never depended on a man for anything, nor will I ever and I am not going to marry a rich guy. I am in the process of setting up my own business. I will always provide for myself

If you cannot trust the person you are marrying then why get married at all?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Unemployed, temporarily unemployed, what's the difference? The point is, you don't have anything to protect, so your stance is a very easy one to take. Should you build a successful business, your stance might change.

It is not a matter of trust. You can trust someone and still acknowledge the real possibility of the marriage not working. If I get married, it will ideally be to someone with some type of assets, and I wouldn't be insulted if they wanted to protect that.

[surfhb2]

Look at Paul Mcartney if you want to see how unfair a divorce can be

If kids are not in the cards alimony should be a non issue....this isn't the case though.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Look at Paul Mcartney if you want to see how unfair a divorce can be

If kids are not in the cards alimony should be a non issue....this isn't the case though.

He would have been justified in killing that bitch.

[surfhb2]

I'd have her other leg cut off! Lol