Anal penetration for men

[BarbaraJean]

How old are you both?

I am 30 and he is 46

[Gigabitch]

He's way too old to be unclear about who he really is, but he does seem pretty clear about how the real him would be received by both you and his family.

IMO, he's not gay. Gay guys are into other guys, for the last time. He's got a chicks-with-dicks fetish, and that is a hell of a lot more complicated than just being gay (which is NOT weird).

I suggest you drag his freaky ass to a relationship counselor and insist that he let it all out- where he stands with you, what his intentions are regarding marriage, where he stands on the sex question, etc.

OR

you should just ****ing leave it alone, accept him for who he is and decide that you can live with it

OR

pack your shit and get out.

Whatever you do, do it decisively. You're just flitting around like a helpless creature, hinting and nagging. DO something about it.

[IndiReloaded]

Dunno Barb, you're uncomfortable. That should be enough of a Red Flag right there. Listen to your gut.

Hey, forget about the note in the DVD-thing. Just burn the damn thing. If he cries, then you'll know.

[BarbaraJean]

Dunno Barb, you're uncomfortable. That should be enough of a Red Flag right there. Listen to your gut.

Hey, forget about the note in the DVD-thing. Just burn the damn thing. If he cries, then you'll know.

If I get rid of it, he will just buy a new one. A few months back I found one that he had under lock and key I scratched it and he (obviously) bought a new one. He will always buy a new one.
It will be never ending...

I don't know can straight men have dick fetishes?

[Junket]

I don't know can straight men have dick fetishes?

I play with my dick all the time.

I'm practically obsessed with it.

But that's neither here nor there.

My question is, why the fúck do you keep asking us?

Ask your confused husband or something; you're just walking around in circles.

[BarbaraJean]

I play with my dick all the time. Leave it alone, it will grow
I'm practically obsessed with it. Well then maybe you should marry it

But that's neither here nor there.

My question is, why the fúck do you keep asking us? <--RUDE

Ask your confused husband or something; you're just walking around in circles.

Ummm excuse me...Isn't this where we are suppose to ask? It isn't that I keep asking. I am responding to what other people say. And fyi I didn't ask if straight men could have a crush on their own d!ck, I asked if straight men can have d!ck fetishes. And I am sure you have read the orginal post, you would know that I am not talking about his own D!CK.
You can lead a horse to water but you can not make him drink....
I have asked and asked and asked and asked and asked....OBVIOUSLY he has not answered me yet.

[Junket]

I have asked and asked and asked and asked and asked....OBVIOUSLY he has not answered me yet.

So...you expect us to have an answer?

My point was that you can ask us all you want but you might as well be talking to a wall. We are not your husband. Are you following yet?

If you're so worried about this shit, take him to counseling.

Actually no, take yourself to counseling first, you're the one who's so bothered by it.

[gartlas]

and she has every right to be bothered about it frasbee!its plain wierd,guys are gay,straight or bi,but what this guys got is freaky and slightly disgusting.My opinion is that he is physcologically ****ed up.but hey,she really shouldnt be bothered eh?

[Junket]

but hey,she really shouldnt be bothered eh?

She has every right to be bothered by it.

But I don't think she has the right to turn this into her own personal crusade because of her own insecurities.

Just look at your as well as other people's reaction to this video. I'm sure he's well aware of the social repercussions of owning such a thing, but that's why he keeps it PRIVATE. How do you think he'd feel that she's been telling the whole world about it?

I still don't see what the big deal is. The only person making it into a big deal is her. Unless there are other aspects of the relationship suffering as a result of his fetish, besides her making a fuss over it, then what's the big deal?

Is he working?

Providing for his daughter?

Does he still fúck her?

Why can't he just have his stupid video? Sounds to me like she's craving a bit of drama.

The day she posts that he's having an affair with another man, woman, or chick with a dick is the day I'll have some kind of sympathy for her situation.

[BarbaraJean]

She has every right to be bothered by it.

But I don't think she has the right to turn this into her own personal crusade because of her own insecurities.

Just look at your as well as other people's reaction to this video. I'm sure he's well aware of the social repercussions of owning such a thing, but that's why he keeps it PRIVATE. How do you think he'd feel that she's been telling the whole world about it?

I still don't see what the big deal is. The only person making it into a big deal is her. Unless there are other aspects of the relationship suffering as a result of his fetish, besides her making a fuss over it, then what's the big deal?

Is he working?Yeah he's working but so am I

Providing for his son?

Does he still f&#250;ck her? He would rather watch the DVD instead of touching me. We used to have sex 3, 4 or even 5- 6 times aweek. Now I am lucky if I get it 3,4 or even 5 times a month.

Why can't he just have his stupid video? Sounds to me like she's craving a bit of drama. I am not craving drama. With all the responses I have gotten, well I can pretty much say that it is out of the ordinary watching what he is watching.. I don't recall any other straight man here telling me they like chics with d!cks
The day she posts that he's having an affair with another man, woman, or chick with a dick is the day I'll have some kind of sympathy for her situation.

As far as that, I couldn't tell you that he is, I will say this though...A few months back he got a letter from an old girlfriend and a Porno dvd with a note( back door bangers, or something like that, which he gave to his son) but anyways the note said I still care for you and was wondering if you would like to get together and do some of the things on the video. Call me if you are interested. (with her number in the letter) He called her ( I know cause the number was on his cell phone) Which hadn't been there since they dated cause I bought him the cell phone when we started living together I know of the letter because she dropped it off and put it in between the screen door and the regular door. Not only that she called the house phone and I answered She said have "Brock" call me about a project we discused. My point here is he should have never, called her in the first place she is an ex. He was interested in one thing and one thing only. If he wasn't interested he wouldn't have ever called.
I was never asking for sympathy from anyone..I was trying to get an opinion and to see if what I was thinking was along the lines of the opinions I got.
I was not rude to anyone while asking, so it is unfair for anyone to be rude to me.
What if you asked for advice/opinions and everyone told you to basically shut up and get over it?

[Junket]

A few months back he got a letter from an old girlfriend and a Porno dvd with a note( back door bangers, or something like that, which he gave to his son) but anyways the note said I still care for you and was wondering if you would like to get together and do some of the things on the video. Call me if you are interested.

Now we're getting somewhere.

[vashti]

Barbara, I am beginning to wonder if you are making all this up. No woman needs to ask if this behavior is appropriate. Why don't you tell us why it is you continue to stay?

[BarbaraJean]

Now we're getting somewhere.

I don't know if he ever did go or whatever. I can only assume.


I am not going to deny that yes, he takes care of home in the sense, he pays the bills. But frankly, after just thinking about it. I am not really sure why I am here. Ok I know a few reasons. I know I love him with all my heart and have never felt this way about anyone. I wouldn't say I am insecure...I am just curious.

When your BF has sex with himself ( aka masturbation) more then he has sex with you, it is a problem.
When he is calling an ex girlfriend...it is a problem
When he is attracted, obsessed, has a fantasy or fetish with chics with d!cks then yeah it is a problem.I know a solution is just to up and walk away from it. That is easier said then done. I'll explain
When I got pregnant I had a not so great job, but it paid oh so well. Unfortunately I was an Indepenent contractor. I could not take maternity leave and come back,( I would have to sub the route out. but if someone did go in or whatever, it would have been on my a$$. I had to completely give my job up. I delivered newspapers to retail stores and news stands. ( I made about 1000.00 a week) Yeah I worked 7 days a week without a day off but I had alot of free time. My boyfriend told me before I left the job, that my job was keeping our relationship from going further (aka marriage) I could have had someone sub my route but I gave it up because I knew if I worked there, I would be the reason our relationship wasn't going to end in marriage. (which hasn't happened yet)So yeah I was out of work for about 7 months, What I had saved up is all gone cause I had no help in buying any of the baby stuff. I am working again, but I am not making as nearly much as I was before. It would be very difficult to live on my own and raise a baby right now ( I don't have family members around) Even with child support it would be difficult. Do you see my problem? (my baby is only 5 months and it would be a fortune for day care. I checked 350.00 was the lowest a week.

I put a note in the dvd (again) and asked him what is it that interests him. I also told him I wasn't mad that he watched the dvd but I couldn't understand him doing it everyday, when he knows I give him myself (in that respect) any time he wants to.
I said sometimes people fear telling their loved ones what "interest "them in fear that they will be rejected, judged ...etc but know that I am not here to reject you nor judge you. And even with that, he can not be honest with me.

I know that I am only getting opinions here, but they make me see different view points but I am not looking for someone to tell me what to do

[Junket]

even with that, he can not be honest with me.

He needs to be honest with himself first.

[Gigabitch]

I also told him I wasn't mad that he watched the dvd but I couldn't understand him doing it everyday, when he knows I give him myself (in that respect) any time he wants to.

I can't believe you're jealous about his masturbation habits.

I said sometimes people fear telling their loved ones what "interest "them in fear that they will be rejected, judged ...etc but know that I am not here to reject you nor judge you. And even with that, he can not be honest with me.

What if all of your suspicions were true, BJ? What if he really is more interested in dicks than in having sex with you, and is just staying with you for the hundred or so reasons people have for staying with someone that isn't their fantasy person? If he's secretly gay, are you sure you wouldn't reject or judge him?

Newsflash: MOST people are not involved in long-term relationships with their fantasy lover. Every day I come home to find that my boyfriend is NOT George Clooney, once again.

IMO, you have some very serious boundary issues. He's your boyfriend, not your property, and you don't own his mind, nor do you own his cell phone, even if you did pay for it.