Ladies, why is what YOU need more important than what WE need?

[Pectabyte]

Most guys enjoy being 'trained', in fact, they enjoy if their partner takes the time and responsibility to do so. Where do you think the newspaper quip comes from?

Newspaper Quip?

The funny thing is there might be merit to what you say about training men. I mean if there is a hot meal or a BJ at the end of a task I know I'd be more willing to do it

[Sonrisa]

maybe you weren't worth it. i am sure if she was really invested she'd have done it. i was also very picky about guys that i pampered. some are just not worth the effort.

[IndiReloaded]

Newspaper Quip?

The funny thing is there might be merit to what you say about training men. I mean if there is a hot meal or a BJ at the end of a task I know I'd be more willing to do it

Darling, I've been married for almost 20 years, of course I know what I'm about.

Anyway, back to work. And you should get back to studies, I suspect.

[Pectabyte]

maybe you weren't worth it. i am sure if she was really invested she'd have done it. i was also very picky about guys that i pampered. some are just not worth the effort.

I agree. In her eyes I wasn't worth it.

[Aeradalia]

The word "train" is what bugs me though. Isnt there a better word for the situation?

Thats very female of you.

he needs to find a female who'll manipulate him into doing what she wants and guide him to happiness.

Or just find a female who isn't over emotional, spoiled, self righteous and resentfully of penis...
Yeah good luck I know...

I agree. In her eyes I wasn't worth it.

Train and manipulate to happiness?

This is hilarious. But then again.. who am I to judge BDSM?

The word "train" is just a word... and perhaps appropriate for this situation -- I don't know, I wasn't there.

Have to agree... some females would rather the world change for them than to ignore what some people say.

How can manipulating a person into doing what the other wants help guide them to happiness? I know how it can help the manipulator... but I suspect the one being manipulated gets ****ed in the long run--- and not in a good way.

You're in luck.. there are females with rather balanced emotions, aren't spoiled, aren't self-righteous (actually plays well with others), and love the penis... However, you have to ask yourself... what do you have to offer such women? Because quite frankly... when a woman becomes smart enough to understand she doesn't have to be a complete bitch to get a man... she's smart enough to be rather preferable of the men she's willing to be with.

You weren't worth being manipulated? She certainly seemed to try... I think you need to find someone who values you as a person --- not as a puppet.

[Pectabyte]

Thanks Aeradalia,

I agree. When that lady comes along i'm sure she will find plenty she likes.

[Sonrisa]

i am sure she'll enjoy your training. who wouldn't.

[IndiReloaded]

And here we see the difference b/t those who have been LTR/married forever and those who have yet to work things out.

My husband is no slouch. Neither am I. But it took me about a decade to work out that when he said that men really want to be 'trained' by their women, he meant it.

Over the years, I've come to realize men are truly simple animals about many things--different-thinking from the concerns of many women. This is not an insult, it is a simple fact of life. For a (secure) guy, being 'trained' means his female's expectations and goals are clearly spelled out, in easy-to-follow instructions, so he can mesh them with whatever his goals are and act accordingly. A leads to B lead to C.

Its basically that joke photo where women are a panel of hundreds of buttons, and men are two. If I can find it sometime, I'll post it. But my point is that training a guy to know which buttons to press when is greatly valued, especially when the alternative means lots of drama.

[Mish]

I wish I was born in the middle ages, this is a wrong century for me.

I much prefer "the man - the master of the house" model.

[Aeradalia]

Thanks Aeradalia,

I agree. When that lady comes along i'm sure she will find plenty she likes.

Pectabyte.. we all have flaws... and it might be best for you to take a less biased look at what you really have to offer. Considering this relationship you were just in... there are many flaws on your end that would discourage such a woman from taking interest in you.

So far.. what I can gather from a very limited peak:

* You have much to learn about what a relationship is built on and what it requires to maintain it.
- For starters, a relationship is built on trust, respect, and love. This is the very foundation, and without either of these... the relationship is doomed to fail.

* Your misogynistic views will have to be tempered... possibly removed outright, if you're to have any hope of attracting a worthy woman.
- Many young women have a lot of stereotypes to sift through, and rather than be hateful or condescending towards them... approach with an open mind. Showing they are wrong in their views by being the best you can be is more likely to succeed in convincing them that guys are more than the stereotypes portray them.
- For all you know... a perfect woman for you may have yet to remove her own biased views of men.



Men and women are not 'trained' by their partners in a relationship... at least not in the sense of an animal or an unwilling participant. A relationship is built on trust, respect, and love... and included there is an agreement between the two to accept certain things from each other... and to have boundaries set up that are agreed to be respected.

Which boundaries you set up and what types of behaviors that are agreed to is different from one relationship to the next. However, a balance has to be achieved in that both agree to willingly (without being guilt-tripped or manipulated in some other fashion).

These agreements, boundaries.. and a foundation of trust, respect, and love are to work together to help both people involved to build each other up and maintain the love and happiness they share.

Any disruption in the balance within these agreements... or the foundation of trust, respect, and love threatens to bring about a relationship's undoing. Sometimes maintaining the balance will involve swallowing your pride and admitting the other was right... sometimes it will involve doing things you don't like because you know it will make the other person happy... and sometimes you will have to make some very difficult decisions that will impact both of your lives.

[CocoChanel]

Why is it that in order to have or maintain a relationship it has to be on your terms? What I mean is in order to get anywhere in a relationship, physically or emotionally, the woman has to be comfortable with it. If she isn't 100% comfortable the deal is usually off with NO mention of what the guy is comfortable with. Ladies why do you think what you want is more important than what we want?

Most of the men I have encountered as friends and previous relationships are focused on their ego. Things they think they need and what they claim they want are not in the best interest of the female but on for their benefit.

[Pectabyte]

Aeradalia,
I realize you mean to do good with your advice and that is admirable however you make a lot of suppositions based on a couple of posts. I am absolutely aware what is required to make a relationship work. In this case my ex didn't and thats why I ended it. She didn't know what it was to love or respect anyone other than herself.

IndiReloaded,
I feel very sorry for your husband. But I guess I shouldn't considering he let you castrate him so there is no one to blame but himself.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Thats very female of you.

And that's very ignorant of you. No wonder you are having problems.

[Pectabyte]

And that's very ignorant of you. No wonder you are having problems.

Your right I have relationship problems because I disagree with you...
Very feminine logic.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

It's not because you "disagree" with me. It's because you make ignorant comments that have nothing to do with the topic at hand and very stereotypical. You're lame.