Should I be upset about this or not?

[blackiesharley]

I think you might be over-reacting again. Remember, we don't live in a black and white world. Look back through your posts and try to find things that support the other conclusion- that she still wants to be with you. There's evedence of that, too.

I don't know, maybe you're right, maybe not. All I know is that it's 3am, I can't sleep, I've lost my lover and best friend. Over what? What the hell did I do so wrong? I can't figure it out. Love someone who I thought loved me? Stood beside them through every one of their drama incidents?

At this point I'm not even taking it one day at a time, I'm taking it one hour at the time.

Maybe there is indeed an underlying drug problem or maybe she's over-dosed on life and has had some kind of melt-down.

I don't think I've heard the last from her, but I sure can't call her. It'll look desperate, needy and clingy.

Time....

[Gigabitch]

Are you going to open that e-mail or what...........

[Steven715]

I don't know, maybe you're right, maybe not. All I know is that it's 3am, I can't sleep, I've lost my lover and best friend. Over what? What the hell did I do so wrong? I can't figure it out. Love someone who I thought loved me? Stood beside them through every one of their drama incidents?

At this point I'm not even taking it one day at a time, I'm taking it one hour at the time.

Maybe there is indeed an underlying drug problem or maybe she's over-dosed on life and has had some kind of melt-down.

I don't think I've heard the last from her, but I sure can't call her. It'll look desperate, needy and clingy.

Time....

I know how you feel for something that happened 4 years ago just hang in there it will take time it is not easy thow
Gigabitch says you have not opend a e-mail is that from her ? if so i think that you should open it and see what it says! let us know how you get on

[blackiesharley]

Well, I opened it of course. Frankly, it's such jibberish and bad spelling that I can't make much sense out of it and I do hesitate to post it here out of respect for her.

In a nutshell from what I gather, it's that she cares a lot and wants us to be together on some level at this point but has so much crap going on in her life that she can't concentrate on 'us.' She asks for time to grow together (that's fine).

But I'm really starting to wonderthough if this is really worth all the energy. Look up 'drama queen' in the dictonary and there's her picture. Not a slam on her, but it's true. EVERY day it's a new ****ing crisis(es) and frankly, it's drained me to the point where I'm beat up and tired.

Just today:

1 -Her car took a shit

2 -Her Mother (as mentioned) is selling the house out from under her and wants her to sign papers with the attorney tonight.

3 -Her bank balance is 0. (No, she didn't ask me for money, she wouldn't)

4 -One of her friends has been missing for 48 hours on a suspected crack binge.

5 -She's meeting with another attorney to she what she can do about she and her exe's house being foreclosed upon.

And again that's just TODAY!!!

Problem is that I DO care a lot and could help her out (NOT financially) but she's a basket case and I'm thinking she's going to drag me down if I don't cut myself some space here.

Gotta take care of Blackie before I can take care of anyone else, bottom line, painfull, lonely or not. I shudder to think about what would happen if she indeed moved in with the twins (let's not forget them) and this continued. What about the potential drug problem I mentioned eariler?

Problem is... Yes I do love her. I could be good for her if she'd let me but like somebody said eariler in this thread "you may have shining armor but you're a human inside.'

It's far from over, but for my own well-being, I must distance myself right now, hard as it is.

I better give her a call now, see how her meeting went with her Mom's attorney. God, I'm such a nice guy...

EDITED: More drama. Just called her. She answered sobbing like crazy, didn't even reconize her voice. Guess the meeting didn't go well. Poor thing, I wish I were there to hold her. Said she would call me back.

This IS draining. Thank God I'm a strong SOB.

[Gigabitch]

Jeez Louise, what a soap opera. I thought I had drama. I have no drama.

[blackiesharley]

Jeez Louise, what a soap opera. I thought I had drama. I have no drama.

And yet it continues - WHY do I attract this??? My shining armor complex???

Her early morning email stated 'I've been crying so much my eyes are sealed shut.' Not crying over me, but her housing problems and family fights.

And get this new development just now. My cell phone has been on the fritz for a few days. Just got it repaired and there was a txt msg from Xmas Girl a few days ago who was vacationing in California with her Aunt. (She returned back here yesterday) Called her back and she wants to get together Saturday night.

I said, yeah sure, why not? Maybe this 'Sister' that I've had for over a year now is the best one after all. She has stood the test of time. That's what my Mother say's anyway. LOL.

At least I have activity. Meanwhile, back to work...

[Steven715]

And yet it continues - WHY do I attract this??? My shining armor complex???

Her early morning email stated 'I've been crying so much my eyes are sealed shut.' Not crying over me, but her housing problems and family fights.

And get this new development just now. My cell phone has been on the fritz for a few days. Just got it repaired and there was a txt msg from Xmas Girl a few days ago who was vacationing in California with her Aunt. (She returned back here yesterday) Called her back and she wants to get together Saturday night.

I said, yeah sure, why not? Maybe this 'Sister' that I've had for over a year now is the best one after all. She has stood the test of time. That's what my Mother say's anyway. LOL.

At least I have activity. Meanwhile, back to work...

Good on you meeting some one hope that goes well for you blacki let us know how you get on wont you steve

[clynn]

I said, yeah sure, why not? Maybe this 'Sister' that I've had for over a year now is the best one after all. She has stood the test of time. That's what my Mother say's anyway. LOL.
...

and you know I've always been partial to her.......

[clynn]

as for the new orleans gal..........

...if indeed there is a coke problem, cut losses and get out.

...if not, I think I can appreciate why exactly she can't commit to you right now. With all that drama, she probably wants your closeness and support, but how can she possibly, in good conscience, drag you into it and expect you to bail her out of it. Your're right, some people create and attract drama. Then again, it could simply be that you met her at a bad time in her life.

All the best.

[blackiesharley]

All good observations Clynn. Thanks.

Edited to add:

[QUOTE=clynn]and you know I've always been partial to her.......[/QUOTE]

You always have haven't you? That's ironic as I wasn't joking about my Mother's comment, her (Xmas chick's) Father said something very similar about me. A week before the Xmas incident we were out one night and she said (after a few drinks) 'Well, since our parents already have us married off, when do we fly to Las Vegas?'

I just laughed, it was a joke (I think). One of the most beautiful days of my life was last summer with her and her 6 Y/O boy in a little cove on the beach in Florida. Never realized I liked kids before that day.

After we fought and didn't speak for two months, I was standing in line at the grocery one day and saw the People magazine with Sheryl Crowe (she's a look-alike) on the cover announcing her breast cancer. I started shaking. That was weird.

Anyway, she's called today and canceled tommorrow night as she's been called into work. She'll be here Monday night and we'll do beach and dinner on Tuesday, should be a nice day. We'll see. She sure has stood the test of time, despite the Xmas spat. Now I wish I'd just gone.

And BTW, no drug problems, not even pot, just a little drink, unlike someone else I can think of. Too old for that shit.

[Steven715]

And BTW, no drug problems, not even pot, just a little drink, unlike someone else I can think of. Too old for that shit.

Let us hope that every thing will work out for you on the Tuesday.

Never realized I liked kids before that day

This is what i am worryed about for the future as most girls my age have already got children how did you cope with it as i dont think that i would be very good with them!

[blackiesharley]

This is what i am worryed about for the future as most girls my age have already got children how did you cope with it as i dont think that i would be very good with them!

Steven715 I didn't think I would be good with them either. Amazingly at my age with two marriages and countless relationships I never dated a women with kids before the last year. Now I've had mini-relationships with three single Mothers in the last twelve months. (The one with Xmas Girl still on-going)

I think the best advice is to just relax and let the Mother kinda take the lead with respect to the kids and guide you. Explain to the Mother that you're new at this.

Also remember that no matter what, the kids will always come before you in priorty which is cool. If they don't place their kids first, they're not the type of woman that you would want to be involved with in the long run anyway.

Be prepared for a lot of canceled dates when a kid has a runny nose or a last minute softball game. Goes with the teritory. It can be very rewarding, just different. Single moms are much less apt to jump into a relationship than a woman that's foot-loose and fancy free. They take their time. Be prepared for that.

Here's the big downside. You start to really like the girl, then grow to like her kids. When something happens (and it always does) you not only lose your girlfriend, but the kids as well. Of course, some might say that they weren't your's to lose in the first place but the little shits can really grow on you.

You'll do fine, again just relax and don't worry about it.

[Steven715]

Steven715 I didn't think I would be good with them either. Amazingly at my age with two marriages and countless relationships I never dated a women with kids before the last year. Now I've had mini-relationships with three single Mothers in the last twelve months. (The one with Xmas Girl still on-going)

I think the best advice is to just relax and let the Mother kinda take the lead with respect to the kids and guide you. Explain to the Mother that you're new at this.

Also remember that no matter what, the kids will always come before you in priorty which is cool. If they don't place their kids first, they're not the type of woman that you would want to be involved with in the long run anyway.

Be prepared for a lot of canceled dates when a kid has a runny nose or a last minute softball game. Goes with the teritory. It can be very rewarding, just different. Single moms are much less apt to jump into a relationship than a woman that's foot-loose and fancy free. They take their time. Be prepared for that.

Here's the big downside. You start to really like the girl, then grow to like her kids. When something happens (and it always does) you not only lose your girlfriend, but the kids as well. Of course, some might say that they weren't your's to lose in the first place but the little shits can really grow on you.

You'll do fine, again just relax and don't worry about it.

Thank you for that blackie as you know things did not turn out how i would like so i started looking arround again on the net and found loads of single mums whitch put me off and made me feel like shit because i was cancling them out when thay also deserve what i want but on the other hand it may be better or i should say easier to settle down with. But as it happens with me any way i was asking for advce on this for the future as now me and that girl are now talking again and it was me made a very wrong jugment my the looks of things it would appear that the only 2 types of comunication we have has been cut off like her mobile phone of her choice because of it being to expensive and stupid msn messanger is not working on her computer but i did get a e-mail from her whitch i will put on hear in a min so you can tell me what you think. There is one thing i will say and that is we are quite alike apart from what i can make out is our ages i am 22 years. Any way hear is the e-mail
"Hiya Steve
Please don't assume that just because i haven't spoke to you in a few days that somethings gone wrong, and i don't want to chat with you again, because you are totally wrong. I haven't been able to sign into msn for a few nights, thats why you have never got a reply till now, and also i seen this morning that you had contacted me on yahoo, i haven't got membership on there so i'm not able to write you back, i wasn't even able to send an icebreaker or anything because i'd already sent you one. I haven't got a phone yet either.
Obviously my msn is dodgy, so there is the probabilty it can happen again, just thought i'd let you no. [Her name]" What do you make of this as i know that you are very good with e-mails i am not! But what i can say after reeding that on thursday night a week later from when we last talked i was so happy and insted of not being able to sleep because of worry and wondering what i have done wrong i cant sleep because i was so happy that i got the e-mail and would appear that i got it so wrong i am megga happy with it but i would like to know what you think or any one elce for that matter!

[blackiesharley]

and you know I've always been partial to her.......

You'll like this new development Clynn. She just texted me with the following simple message:

'I think I'm moving back.'

She now lives two hours away. I don't know if she means 'here' as in town or California with her Aunt she just visited. I'm assuming here. I'll find out later.

That could be nice. Things have a strange way of working out...

Edited: Just rec'd a txt msg from her. She's moving back HERE as in town. Tens minutes away from me. Wow....

[Steven715]

Cool do you think that you can work things out then or have you given up on her i take it you have not given up on her as you sound quite excited about her comming in to town sounds good i hope any way