I got a REAL eye-opener...

[Rosebud]

It's funny how you forget some things when you get involved into a relationship. I'm very happy for you! You sound so much better than when you first posted here..

[bluesummer]

That's true, Rose

I'm feeling particularly positive - kinda found my motivation again too! (smile) I miss my classes (cardio kick boxing) and I miss (scratch that: DID miss) reading and all that other stuff I used to do before a boyfriend was my central focus. I'm finding that I still love all of those things... and enjoy the hell out of my life (when I'm actually living it!!).

Absolutely the way to do it......go out and get involved in all those things you love again! Funny how they seemed to get pushed to the side when you are in a relationship huh?

[independent]

It's funny how you forget some things when you get involved into a relationship. I'm very happy for you! You sound so much better than when you first posted here..

That is exactly what this book is about! (peers around to see if TAVs is looking) hehe - seriously, the author talks heavily about how women generally give up their lives for a relationship... and what the results of that are.

It dawned on me yesterday that much of this is a way new twist on "Co-Dependent No More"... except that the book and entire concept just make you feel worse. It's another person pointing at YOU and saying "you have a problem" (as if the co-d person hasnt heard that enough!).

Instead, "Why Men Love Bitches" is very empowering and enlightening.

Hayward brought up demographics earlier in this thread. I should say, women in the south are brought up to cater to their men. Big meals on the table, quiet and meek, the men work the women stay home, etc - you know the role.

I learned early on that it wasnt an enjoyable lifestyle, and found out (through trial and error) that there were ways to gain more balance in a relationship. Feeding a man's ego, for example, is a great way to 'steer' him in the right direction (while still making him feel like the man in the house).

What I wasnt getting though was what this book teaches: that you can be a "good woman" and still have your own life, too.

There actually IS a balance for women somewhere between "good little housewife" and "independent man-hating *****". I've known one person that fit that role perfectly. Now I realize why I admired her so much all of my life.


... and thank you I FEEL so much better!!

[Tone]

It's called 'break up with him and tell him part of the reason is that he doesn't do shit around the house'.

I haven't lifted a finger in a week. Too bad his ass is outta here.

I thought it was called, "Leave him, and get yourself a Tone"?

:)

[bluesummer]

I thought it was called, "Leave him, and get yourself a Tone"?

Tony, you can come clean my house anytime. I've even got a special uniform for ya......

[Tone]

Aye caramba!!

How far is Canada again?? I think I'ma head that way after work....

[bluesummer]

Canada is pretty big......you might wanna make sure you end up on the right side at least, or it'll take you awhile to find my house. Hee hee

[Tone]

I don't care how big it is... how long it takes... Nina... I'll find you...

(whoa! I just reread that and that could either come off as very... hmm... romantic? Or very WAY creepy! haha)

[Asip4u]

Ok, start off going North..sort of...Get to Michigan and meet Rb...then, you guys can come and pick me up by going NorthEast...I'll take you to Nina and we can all go out for a few beers.

[Tone]

Ugh, how awesome would that be?

Hey do you guys know of any way to talk someone who is recently single and lives out of the country into coming to where you are?

[Asip4u]

lol...Not sure about talking bro but..Wasn't there a video all the ladies wanted to see?...Perhaps it's time! Besides, actions speak louder than words.

[shh!]

Ugh, how awesome would that be?

Hey do you guys know of any way to talk someone who is recently single and lives out of the country into coming to where you are?

You could buy her a plane ticket and put her up in the best hotel in town. You can't try to stay with her, of course, or she will think you are a pig. Anyway, who would refuse a free vacation?

[independent]

Better yet you could talk all of her friends into coming... turn it into a group "fun" thing... and hope something clicks in the process

Buying a plane ticket seems kinda smarmy (coming from a stranger, anyway). I only say that because it happened to me once - and I was stupid enough to go LOL!

[shh!]

umm... independent? He is talking about bluesummer. I am trying to get her a free vacation.

[independent]

Yeah, I know...

I still think its smarmy