What went wrong ?

[Charlie Boy II]

Do you think he just should have been honest with you Beth?

[squirrley]

Beth the point is is that its done. Theres no point in calling him. IF had any interest he wouldve called. Some people click over the phone or the internet and when they actually meet, it just doesnt work for whatever reason. Theres no need to feel cheated by hi because he didnt give you a second date. Im sure its your ego thats feeling the blow but its not big deal.

There are so many people out there! Dont let one person one night out and a couple of conversations keep you hanging on.

[bethfromEngland]

polite ? its bad mannered if you contact someone and they dont get back to you.

well then vashti and gribble you obviously have no heart

i think he should have been honest,yes.i think it is alot worse if someone ignores you and leaves you hanging on wondering whats happening,than if they tell the truth.if they tell you what is wrong,at least you know for sure then and you can move on.i cant read peoples minds,other reasons could have been that he was busy or didnt feel like going but wanted to go another time.i always tell people if i dont want to see them anymore.he could have just said im sorry i dont want to meet up anymore,and left it at that.that wouldnt have sounded too bad.

im not contacting him i decided.

thanks to everyone else who has been helpful and supportive.

[bethfromEngland]

the lad text me tonight.he said i hadnt done anything wrong,but he had been really busy,and he didnt think it was going to work out between us and said sorry.
i then said how come,and can we still be friends and chat and see how we both are ? and said sorry if it was coz of me asking to meet up and said take care.

he then said course we can still talk,take care dear

i then said thanks,can i ask,is it because you are too busy ?


he said yeah i dont get much time spare,not fair on you

i just said i didnt mind about not being able to meet up too often,and i shouldnt have asked so much.he hasnt replied yet

but then i told him i am going to be starting a new job soon and he said that was good,and i told him about some new photos and he said you will have to send them to me

i have mixed feeling really.i am glad he told me the truth,but at the same time i wish he would meet me when he does have a spare minute

[Moonchild]

The beginning of that seemed fine, but saying things like how you wouldn't mind how busy he is might make him think you're trying to push back into something he's ended. If you want to keep talking with him, do so. But don't try to start the relationship again, because he'll feel like you're pushing him back to a place he doesn't want to go. Back into something he didn't--and likely still wouldn't--see working out.

[bethfromEngland]

if i dont text him for a while now and then just ask how he is,do you think he will stay in contact ?

i dont know what he thinks of me either coz he said i can still talk to him but he doesnt think it will work out.i might not carry on talking to him even yet

should i say i shouldnt have said the last part ?

[vashti]

Don't you have any friends? You need to make some friends (same gender). They will help prevent you from humiliating yourself.

[bethfromEngland]

i also asked how he felt and he said i'm glad we are still talking

[squirrley]

Honestly why even bother hanging onto something that isnt there which he pointed out directly? Id let it go. Dont even bother to call or text him. Hes not worth it Beth. Hes told you now straight out. If you really want a second chance than back off completely and let him chase you. But in the meantime, do other things to occupy your time. This is truly a lost cause.

[bethfromEngland]

im not going to contact him first all the time,and not as often as i used to anyway.I am going to be starting a new job soon so i will be quite busy myself anyway ,and probably wont be as bothered about it.i will just take each day as it comes now.I will back off and see what happens

And even if he does want another chance say in a few weeks or whenever,i might not feel like it then anyway

[straight&56]

ok but he was still wrong to send me all those texts before and after the date.plus even if you arent dating someone you can still stay in contact as a friend.i still feel i have been led on,in the way he spoke to me in the texts.An yes,i would prefer it if he said that.I would tell someone that.And you can like someone from only seeing them a couple of times and speaking to them alot more than that


wow,i so cant believe i am in the wrong for this and he is perfect !

And there are loads of women who have done this,it's not like i am the only one !

i havent contacted him since anyway and have no intention of doing so with him,or anyone else from now on

i suppose there is also no one else in the world who has been bullied all the way through school,had this happen with another guy,had their parents divorce,have relatives pass away,or any other problem

I am not just depressed over only having one date with a guy.there have been more problems than that in my life recently,and this on top of the rest of whats happened just makes it worse,and he is too selfish and cruel to care.He doesnt know much about it.I had finally met someone who i had the most in common with and who i felt comfortable and happy with,only for this to happen.well why do i bother ?

sorry,i wont post here again

I have been avoiding the forum for a while due to MY situation, first night back.

But I can't help feeling that some of the posters here are really troubled by THEIR situation and sometimes don't receive the help they need. And it is a need. Beth is one of them.

This girl, needs help with her situation, not criticism and she looks like, sadly, she has now gone. There is the experience here on this forum to help her.

Some of us have been in a similar situations and know what it's like to be there. Don't be cruel to her or others, realistic yes in a kind way but not cruel.
Relationship problems can cause suicides, help is what is needed not criticism. Bear that in mind.

Beth - if you are still here - don't loose heart - there is the help here you need from people more qualified than me.

straight&56

[vashti]

I think the advice given on this thread was actually very good advice. Beth just isn't ready to hear it. She needs professional help, which has been suggested.

[Gigabitch]

Generally, I don't believe in being cruel. I'm kind to my pets and I don't hit or emotionally abuse my daughter. I'm even reasonably nice to my ex-husband.

But I have to say that bethfromEngland appears to be here to argue. She doesn't want help. She wants someone to agree with her that the guy who took her out on one date is some kind of evil mother****er because he isn't calling, and she keeps cornering him and pressuring him.

It sounds to me like this guy was raised to be polite at all costs, and he is trying his best to do this without actually dating beth. She, however, appears to have been raised by wolves. If my daughter were disrespecting herself the way beth has been, I would be appalled, and the worst part is, beth actually thinks she's demanding good treatment, here.

Do not scold us, Straight&56, until you've tried and failed to reach her. Feel free: she's all yours.

[Michael6084]

two words: TOUGH LOVE.

[bethfromEngland]

Actually,i was raised to be polite and honest which is why i got annoyed that he wasnt being straight with me.
I am not here to argue,and i agree what straight&56 said,and i appreciate your support.
I'm doing abit better now.I have applied to do some agency work.The agency sends you to different places to work and you get paid for it.I told that guy this so he would know i am going to be too busy to see him anyway.Plus i wont have as much time to think and worry about things
Im not going to bother with any guys for a long time now and just focus on work and maybe make some female friends.I just think men can treat you badly at times and i cant be bothered putting up with it.I think he even lied by saying we could still be friends and talk.
The fact is,i dont think he should have asked for my number in the first place,especially if he knew he was going to be too busy,and he should have said from the start that he only wanted to chat and not meet up,and i'm not sure why he gave me his number.It just annoys me when people do things and they probably never meant anything they said
Im sorry but i dont see what is polite about telling someone you want to meet up with them one minute and saying you cant wait to see them then suddenly saying you dont think its going to work because you are too busy.
I just hope i will forget about it when i start the new job
Straight&56,that is true.Some people have commited suicide over these kind of situations,and yes,i know we only went on one date but we spoke for weeks and it was every day,and if this kind of thing keeps happening with people it can make you really depressed,especially if you have other problems aswell as that too
I liked guys at school who either only liked me as a friend,or didnt like me at all,or already had a girlfriend.i was bullied alot at school and have only had a couple of boyfriends since,and neither were long term.I have also only had afew friends at a time.i was very shy and quiet when i was younger,and am still quite shy now.so it goes back to my childhood and teen years really,and they say that the things that happen when you are young can have an effect when you get older