Lost Man

[Sensitive]

I think it's useless... I won't be able to live without her.

[IndiReloaded]

Of course you can. Couples who have been married for YEARS manage to go on when a partners dies, so if they can do it, you can survive a breakup.

Try to keep things in perspective.

Honestly, it sounds like you two are incompatible as far as your communication styles go. Marriage is hard enough without this type of problem going in. I think you are better off apart.

Basically, what you are feeling right now is the equivalent of an addiction. You are USED to being with her so its natural you miss that feeling. Think hard tho about whether what you are missing is HER (doubt it) or the way she made YOU feel (different & more likely).

I agree with Mish. Get your friends onboard to support you. Get out & enjoy yourself. Date, but don't take anything too seriously at this point.

As for your sig quote, I think its a good philosophy to be alone rather than settle. But right now, its those feelings of withdrawl that are making you feel like love won't ever happen again. It will. But you won't find anyone if you don't take the chance to see what's out there.

Not every rock you pick up will be a diamond, you gotta search hard & you can't give up. And sometimes the best diamonds need a little cleaning before they shine, don't forget that either.

[1averagejoe]

You need to take a step back and look at the situation you're in. Ignore your emotions, all of them, you're hurt and you're going through a lot and they do nothing but misguide you right now. Realize that this relationship is just a mere step in learning some flaws in yourself as well as her. You sound like an awesome guy, but you gave to much and you let yourself be a doormat for her. Most women don't like that. There is a fine line between being good to a woman and letting her use you. You let her use you.

You will be ok, I promise. Think of it this way, better to have broken up with her now than to almost surely have divorced her. There are women out there that would love to have a guy like you. You just need to realize that and give yourself time to understand that. Like I mentioned take time to yourself, you'll learn to be ok without someone. It's hard now because it's such a sudden change, but you're going to have to deal with it. Don't try and replace your ex with someone else. It's not fair to them because you're not over her yet and it will most likely ruin the relationship with her.

Take time, force yourself. This isn't easy, it takes work. If you've got questions ask.

Good luck.

[Sensitive]

She promised this time it will be okay.
She looks sincere. I have to try... My parents won't like this to happen.
I spent a very hard day.

I went to pick some of my stuffs, she didn't give them to me when I arrived to her place, but she invited me to enter and talk. It ended with a fight.

Went to a friend's house because I didn't want to stay alone.
She called, she was crying, she was telling me some true/logical things about all the efforts we did, and about how stupid it would be to break up.
She asked me to come back to see her and talk again, it was the usual blabla ("it's your fault", "no it's your fault"), it was time for her to leave (a marriage in her family), saw her again at 3:00 am.

I was crying when she came to my car, cleaned up my eyes before she sees me (I was thinking about my feelings and how they are "destroying" me when I was on my way to her place).
We went to my mansion, we made love 3 times it was magical!

She asked me "what do you want in your life", I answered "a peaceful relationship with you". She made promises, she promised not to be bad with me again, she is making efforts I think.

Am I in the wrong lane?

[Sensitive]

Of course you can. Couples who have been married for YEARS manage to go on when a partners dies, so if they can do it, you can survive a breakup.

Try to keep things in perspective.

Honestly, it sounds like you two are incompatible as far as your communication styles go. Marriage is hard enough without this type of problem going in. I think you are better off apart.

Basically, what you are feeling right now is the equivalent of an addiction. You are USED to being with her so its natural you miss that feeling. Think hard tho about whether what you are missing is HER (doubt it) or the way she made YOU feel (different & more likely).

I agree with Mish. Get your friends onboard to support you. Get out & enjoy yourself. Date, but don't take anything too seriously at this point.

As for your sig quote, I think its a good philosophy to be alone rather than settle. But right now, its those feelings of withdrawl that are making you feel like love won't ever happen again. It will. But you won't find anyone if you don't take the chance to see what's out there.

Not every rock you pick up will be a diamond, you gotta search hard & you can't give up. And sometimes the best diamonds need a little cleaning before they shine, don't forget that either.

What you wrote is right, it's so logical.
But feelings, are they logical? Don't we often ask ourselves "how this guy can be with that girl"?
I mean, love is something impossible to understand...

I need to talk again with her, but what can I say, how can I be sure?

It's my birthday soon (june 27th) and since my parents don't like her anymore, I'd like to ask them as a present to "accept" her again... Am I crazy or what?

[Sensitive]

You need to take a step back and look at the situation you're in. Ignore your emotions, all of them, you're hurt and you're going through a lot and they do nothing but misguide you right now. Realize that this relationship is just a mere step in learning some flaws in yourself as well as her. You sound like an awesome guy, but you gave to much and you let yourself be a doormat for her. Most women don't like that. There is a fine line between being good to a woman and letting her use you. You let her use you.

You will be ok, I promise. Think of it this way, better to have broken up with her now than to almost surely have divorced her. There are women out there that would love to have a guy like you. You just need to realize that and give yourself time to understand that. Like I mentioned take time to yourself, you'll learn to be ok without someone. It's hard now because it's such a sudden change, but you're going to have to deal with it. Don't try and replace your ex with someone else. It's not fair to them because you're not over her yet and it will most likely ruin the relationship with her.

Take time, force yourself. This isn't easy, it takes work. If you've got questions ask.

Good luck.

I'd like to know how can I be sure it's the right decision?
After all, let's be honest, this girl made a lot of efforts (not often but they were "huge"), and there's a saying in Italia that says "it's better to stick with your problems than changing them and getting worst"

[Sensitive]

You can't be LOST more than I am...

[IndiReloaded]

Keep trying. Hopefully things will work out. But, if not, at least you know you have given your absolute best effort. That's all anyone can do.

Good luck.

[IndiReloaded]

I'd like to know how can I be sure it's the right decision?

You'll know b/c, after having taken a hard look at those dark spaces in your mind, it will FEEL like the right thing to do.

Like I just said, you don't sound quite ready to throw in the towel. Good for you, you've got 'stick to it ness' So give it all you've got. Follow through on your decision to try again & see what happens. Then go from there.

[Jbleezyj]

I wouldn't be getting married anytime soon with this woman if there was this much uncertainty about the others feelings towards you and doubt in the relationship. You guys definitely need to communicate with each other and figure things out.

[Cain]

Things changed, right? If so, then why did you fight two more times AFTER she told you things would be different? Nothing has changed. She's a crazy, violent psychopath. Imagine how many abusive husbands told their abused wives that it would never happen again.

It's your decision. Stay with her if you want. But I think you just don't want to be single and you're having a hard time moving on. You need to work on that because she can walk all over you. And if you're rich like you say you are, you need to make sure it'd be worth marrying her because once those papers are signed, she's going to take half of the shit YOU worked hard to get.

[1averagejoe]

If you decide to marry this girl...look into this.

[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prenuptial_agreement[/url]

[lesa]

If you decide to marry this girl...look into this.

[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prenuptial_agreement[/url]

Definitely..no offense but she sounds like a person who will do major 'payback' on you if you decide to divorce her.

[lesa]

Things changed, right? If so, then why did you fight two more times AFTER she told you things would be different? Nothing has changed. She's a crazy, violent psychopath. Imagine how many abusive husbands told their abused wives that it would never happen again.

Sex can make almost anyone senseless.

[Mish]

She promised this time it will be okay.
She looks sincere. I have to try... My parents won't like this to happen.
I spent a very hard day.

I went to pick some of my stuffs, she didn't give them to me when I arrived to her place, but she invited me to enter and talk. It ended with a fight.

She asked me to come back to see her and talk again, it was the usual blabla ("it's your fault", "no it's your fault"), it was time for her to leave (a marriage in her family), saw her again at 3:00 am.

She asked me "what do you want in your life", I answered "a peaceful relationship with you". She made promises, she promised not to be bad with me again, she is making efforts I think.

Am I in the wrong lane?

I'm sorry S. She sounds too BPD or Bipolar and you sound too much of a push over to handle her, I don't think despite your best efforts it's going to work out between the two of you. She can and she will suck the life out of you. Some relationships are worth saving, but I don't think this is one of them.

If you are ready for a few more years (months) of this chaotic relationship then brace yourself. I personally would recommend for you to transition out with a good exit strategy. Health is more important.