When you have a "thing" with a friend..

[Cain]

Honestly Cain, why come on here to try and be negative about everything?! I get what your saying, but why are you being so bitter about it?

To be honest, your just making it harder for me to deal with, because your so pesimistic.

Have you had a similar situation? And has that happened to you?
If so, please share..

I'm just giving you another perspective. Take it or leave it.

You just need to know that the chances are incredibly high that she'll leave you for someone else if she eventually leaves her bf for you. You're thinking like every other man that eventually steals a girl... thinking that you'll be that one guy that can keep her from wanting to leave.

[Cain]

Hahahah, Cain she's 20... what else should her 'history' be?

Sam, the genie is out of the bottle hun. No putting it back. Its neither good nor bad, it just is. Attraction happens. But I do think you're being strung along by her atm. Just take the edge off the situation by going and having some fun with a girl that is actually available. Geeze, you are so young, this is NOT likely the girl you are going to marry. Get some perspective here.

I don't give a shit what her age is. You make it seem like every 20 year old is irresponsible in relationships.

[IndiReloaded]

You just need to know that the chances are incredibly high that she'll leave you for someone else if she eventually leaves her bf for you. You're thinking like every other man that eventually steals a girl... thinking that you'll be that one guy that can keep her from wanting to leave.

I agree with Cain. You are too invested in this ONE gal, Sam. Take a step back from things.

[IndiReloaded]

I don't give a shit what her age is. You make it seem like every 20 year old is irresponsible in relationships.

Inexperienced, yes. You too. Its normal, don't feel bad about it.

[Cain]

Inexperienced, yes. You too. Its normal, don't feel bad about it.

I may be inexperienced, but I never strung two girls along at the same time.

[lesa]

I'm just giving you another perspective. Take it or leave it.

You just need to know that the chances are incredibly high that she'll leave you for someone else if she eventually leaves her bf for you. You're thinking like every other man that eventually steals a girl... thinking that you'll be that one guy that can keep her from wanting to leave.

I agree with what you are saying...that there is a good probability that she will eventually leave him.

However, why should he or she think that they are the 'one'?

I know many people are conservative and settle down very young with someone that has a few tolerable standards but there are many who just want a short or even long term relationship that will not lead to marriage or very very long term. They simply want a companion for now.

[IndiReloaded]

No, you have a different set of issues, Cain. We've been over this before. We all come into relationships with different kinds of baggage we need to deal with. I already said, age is no barrier to stupidity, but it does give those who choose to learn a larger dataset to work from, that's all.

I love you anyway.

[SamT]

Hmph, ok yeah maybe i am too invested in this one girl. But i guess that's just the way I am. And for the moment, that's the way things are.

They're are other girls that i know are interested in me...but this one girl knows me so much better!

As for being inexperienced, my last relationship lasted 3 years, and she's had a few bfs aswell. Most of which have messed her around. Probably one of the reasons she sees this thing in me that is so different from other guys.

[Cain]

No, you have a different set of issues, Cain. We've been over this before. We all come into relationships with different kinds of baggage we need to deal with. I already said, age is no barrier to stupidity, but it does give those who choose to learn a larger dataset to work from, that's all.

I love you anyway.

I'll admit I have a problem if you admit you're not always right. And don't add a "but most of the time" after.

[IndiReloaded]

I'm never right.

[lesa]

I don't feel comfortable with a man thinking that I am his 'one'. It takes the thrill out of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Until I am engage and I say yes, don't assume I will stay with you forever.

In fact, (and maybe unfortuately too...depending on your views) I know that my current boyfriend doesn't want marriage or children and somehow that intrigues me to date him more..for now.

CORRECTION: Until I am married and say 'I do'......(I've already been engaged hehe)

[SamT]

lol is it just me or are we getting into a few other issues now?

[lesa]

lol is it just me or are we getting into a few other issues now?

It depends on why you want this girl so badly. Why do you want her to fight to decide to stay with her boyfriend or go for you?

Have you thought it through on exactly what you are asking/wanting of her?

[SamT]

I havent asked her to do anything..

And especially after reading all your comments, i know its a good thing for her to stay with her bf, instead of breaking it off for me. Id rather it end naturally and of other causes rather than because of me.

In someways our relationship would be tainted if that's how it started.

[lesa]

I havent asked her to do anything..

And especially after reading all your comments, i know its a good thing for her to stay with her bf, instead of breaking it off for me. Id rather it end naturally and of other causes rather than because of me.

In someways our relationship would be tainted if that's how it started.

Not too many come to these forum with those conclusions (or want to). I know it must be hard. You are wise beyond your years for it.