you think my boyfriend is controlling?

[girl68]

I guess I read your post wrong. ^

[lahnnabell]

Its not that I dont like him...I just feel like he does a lot of things on purpose to see if I am willing to put forth the effort. you dont ask someone to buy you something or to pay for something (ive never asked him to buy me dinner...I was just thrown off at the beginning when he would want to split the bill)...they buy things for you because they want to and expect nothing in return. (there was a situation where he was frustrated that he wasnt going to be able to get his football ticket on time bc of class, so when I went to go get mine, I got my ticket, plus used my guest ticket to get him one, so he would have one in case they sold out before he got to the ticket booth) I don't ask my bf to buy me a beer..I have my own money..he offers to buy me a beer. and even when ive been out wiht him and ive drinking some of his beer i've offered to pay

If you're upset by his behavior (testing you and playing games) you should call him out on it. Have an honest, rational conversation about how his behavior makes you feel.

.I dont really like to go out for dinner because i'm trying to not eat out as much bc its not healthy, but if someone asks me out on a date..then sure id go out. I think any girl would take up that offer. but just like Vashti said...she would expect the person who invites the other out to pay...if its a date, etc, etc. if its just the two of us going out to dinner because we dont feel like cooking, yada yada, then we split the bill. Its been harder now that we've been home, but during the school year, I would ask if he would want to come over for dinner and I would cook. Thats my way of giving back. but there would be times that I would offer to cook for him and then he would just want me to come over for dinner at his house instead. and i've asked my boyfriend 3 times if hes wanted to come over to my house for dinner(at home) with my family, and hes come over once...and when he's asked me over ive gone every time. I've pretty much do a lot of things he invites me to, unless I've already made plans or cant, because of class, etc. and since he likes to go out a lot with his friends, its normally me and his 5 guy friends..which is fun, but after awhile it gets old., but for me my friends are different. a lot of us are career oriented, so a lot of them are now working or doing internships and dont want to go out so there isnt of me inviting him to go out and drink well bc it doesnt really happen. I like to go out sometimes, but not all. I like to relax and watch a movie, etc. not drink every night. I'm happy with him just sitting with me on my bed hanging out..him watching TV and me playing on the computer, but he doesnt like to do that. so whenever I ask him to do things that I want to do that dont include drinking (eating at my house, watching a movie, relaxing, coming over to hang out) he doesnt want to..so ive stopped asking, bc its no fun getting rejected. we hang out almost every day, but if I suggest something or ask him if he wants to do something and he doesnt he asks if I'd rather do what his friends are doing, and I just go so I can see him.
At school it was never like this tho and I am assuming that because every one is on their own schedules and are busy so he had a lot of time to fit me in. He got mad at me the other day because I told him that I was going to see inception with my friend's friends (he doesnt know them..they are a bunch of girls from her sorority) and he got pissed and said "thanks for inviting me.." which i dont understand why he was upset...1) I knew that he prob wouldnt want to go bc it would be with a bunch of girls, unless his guy friends could come with him and its not my place to ask my friend's friend if all those people can come, esp if shes never met my bf before and 2) a couple of days before hand he just wanted to have a guy night, and didnt invite me over.. so am I not allowed to have a night where I just want to be with friends...? so I dont see why he got pissed off at that. Its not that I dont like him at all...its just kinda like hes a bit of a double standard.

Again, talk to him about his behavior. Bring up these points. If he refuses to hear you, or feigns stupidity about your feelings, then he's probably not very emotionally invested in this relationship. I mean in a healthy balanced way. Relationships are two-way streets, and double-standards are damaging. If this is the way he thinks though, you'll have little luck trying to change him unless you decide to make a drastic change for him (like breaking up with him). Guys need to be hit over the head with it sometimes. I find that many of my exes only made drastic life and behavioral changes AFTER I've left them.

another thing is that its been really hard for me to adjust to his working schedule. Bc now a lot of times he says he will call me after work, he doesnt actually make plans with me until he actually calls at 630, but by that time i've made plans with some girlfriends. so its hard because he calls me after work, says hes going to go do P90x with his friend Devin and then he calls again after that to see what I am doing..normally im being tutored for the GRE, so im free after i'm done, but its like hes still hanging out with devin or another friend has come over..and sometimes I leave myself with no plans so that i can be available for him..its been hard, so sometimes we go 2 days without seeing each other.

When my boyfriend and I began dating, we went out all the time. He wanted to woo and impress me. While I enjoyed it, I told him that he didn't need to drop money on me to make me feel wanted. He took me on a beach date at sunset one evening and spent no money. It was one of the most memorable dates I've ever had. Talk to your guy about your priorities. His seem to be working and spending his spare money on going out, and you would much rather save your money. Your priorities are different and that is sometimes a reason people break up. If he doesn't want to meet you half way on this, then it may be time to go.

[lilxcutie53]

That makes a lot of sense and is very helpful thanks! but im also in a sticky situation..this why its hard to communicate with him...my friend texted me this morning and asked if i wanted to go see inception..I told her I would let her know bc last night I asked a friend to hang out with me and that I would call her today. So anyways, my bf asked if I wanted to go see the movie with him..and i said "sure, elyse(hes friends with her) asked if I wanted to go but i told her id let her know, lets go with them.." I told him that the movie was probably going to be around 7. he texted back and said "hopefully, i can get p90x in before." I said "do it when u get home, so u can go" and jokingly he said "lol what? I CALL THE SHOTS AROUND HERE!!!!" so then i texted elyse back and said "hey could chris come with us to the movies?" the reason I asked that was because..one of elyse's friends Gregg..asked chris if he wanted to go see the movie today and that elyse might come too..." so thats why I asked elyse if he could come assuming that she had talked to greg..anyways...i finally told my bf what the plans were and blah blah..and he said "why dont we just go together..? im not trying to see a movie with elyses parents" and I said "well she said since its a big group that we'd prob all have to split up..so why dont we go and then sit together ourselves"

if he doesnt want to do that should i just go with elyse or go with my bf.?

Its just difficult to determine...when I should bend for him, and when he should bend for me..bc he likes a LOT of things his way..so even when were going out to the bar and I want him to drive bc its not fair that im always sober driving and he mentions that he doesnt want to drive bc hes had a bad day..even tho hes had a bad day its hard for me to bend for him bc I cant tell if hes BSing or not..and then I realize after that fact that he indeed was tired and that maybe i should of just drove this one time..

[lahnnabell]

He calls the shots, huh? Sounds like his attempt at a joke is a tad more revealing. He wants to insert himself into your plans, and then expects to commandeer them and get everyone else to adjust to HIS needs. NOT GOOD.

You have to talk to him about this much larger problem. You made plans with your friend first, and I think your boyfriend needs to learn a lesson here. Better start by putting your foot down. Tell your guy that plans have been made, and if he wants to go, then he can always fit in p90x later on. There are more people involved than just you and him and you have to take consideration for that. If your boyfriend wants to get pissy, then let him. If he wants to be treated like an adult, he has to act like one first.

If you continue to let him have his way all the time and compromising all of your plans for him, he'll never learn and he'll come to expect that he does call the shots. You will eventually resent him for his behavior when you've been helping to enable it.

[lilxcutie53]

yeah thats exactly what he wants to do...its really hard bc I do it ALL the time..its a big problem..eventually I do get my way because I put my foot down. normally it goes like this C: hey you wanna hang out tonight? Me: sure, but I wanna stay at my house tonight (say that to him when i feel ive been bending to him and going to his house) C: nah, dude why dont u just come here, i dont wanna go there" Me" fine..stay there, but im staying here. C:ok..im coming" or for the 4th of july I was planning to have a BBQ from 4-10 and then do fireworks some where else..I told chris about it and he said "well i actually like to go out for 4th of july....not trying to do a BBQ" then i said "fine..go do ur own thing but im staying here and doing the BBQ. then he decieded to come and actualyl had a great time...

[lahnnabell]

See, putting your foot down works. He's not going to leave you because you don't bend to his will. In fact, he'll respect you more for having your own mind and making your own decisions.

You don't have to tell him that you're not going along with his plans because he always gets his way. Just simply say, "I am staying at home tonight. You're more than welcome to come over, but I am not in the mood to go out tonight." Be pleasant, not mean or spiteful. If you dramatize the situation, he'll feed into it. He is more emotionally immature and needs to learn how to accommodate others effectively.

His behavior is that of a child's. "I don't wanna go out. Just come here." I can just see him stomping his feet like a 5-year old. Don't buy into that. If he starts behaving that way, ignore him and treat it like it's his loss. They get over it real fast when you don't put up with their BS because they start to look foolish when they realize you won't indulge them.

[lilxcutie53]

See, putting your foot down works. He's not going to leave you because you don't bend to his will. In fact, he'll respect you more for having your own mind and making your own decisions.

You don't have to tell him that you're not going along with his plans because he always gets his way. Just simply say, "I am staying at home tonight. You're more than welcome to come over, but I am not in the mood to go out tonight." Be pleasant, not mean or spiteful. If you dramatize the situation, he'll feed into it. He is more emotionally immature and needs to learn how to accommodate others effectively.

His behavior is that of a child's. "I don't wanna go out. Just come here." I can just see him stomping his feet like a 5-year old. Don't buy into that. If he starts behaving that way, ignore him and treat it like it's his loss. They get over it real fast when you don't put up with their BS because they start to look foolish when they realize you won't indulge them.

HAHAHAHAH thankkkk you!!! thats exactly how he is...He's the type of person that says "thanks for inviting me" or "cool...your ditching me..." trys to make you feel bad. and at first I didnt know what he was doing..and then figured out how to respond to that behavior and sometimes i say "sorry thats how you feel.." hes tried to have more effective communication with me since ive done that such as "I feel like you dont have many feelings for me when you dont give me a lot of affection"

Thats why earlier when people were attacking me for not wanting to buy him pants was because thats exactly his attitude....I told him "no" and walked away and looked at clothes because I knew he was trying to get me to give in and buy him expensive pants. and the same with the beer...

[lahnnabell]

You have to be consistent though. Teaching and training, whether it be a child, a dog, whatever, requires patience, calm, and consistency. You have to set the example here.

[lilxcutie53]

what would be an example of that?

[lahnnabell]

Let's say you've had a good streak of teaching him that "No" means "No". Suddenly, there is a day that you give into his childish demands, it'll restart all or most of the progress you've made. I must say that it is one thing if he politely discusses his point, but it is quite another if he gets pouty and uses guilt tactics to sucker you into doing things his way. If he does perform the latter, he needs a serious attitude adjustment. Personally, I'm done training boys to become men. My guy's not perfect, but he's a much more self-aware, empathetic guy than any of my exes.

[nerdy_guy]

What lahnnabell says is true, if he acts like a prince, you do have to teach him that the world is much bigger than his head, and it doesn't revolve around him. But, here are some things I've learned in my past relationships. And I hope that it will help you out in deciding if you should keep breathing down his neck or should you let him go.

1. There is a limit, you should never teach him too much. Teaching him too much means that you never really liked him in the first place for who he is. Instead, you see him as a canvas where you'll have to mold him to someone you'll like better. Just like what my shallow female friends/acquaintances would tell me: "You can't change his face, but you can change his character" (One of them ended up getting knocked up by the pretty face, got pregnant, and after that decided that character was better. what a moron!). Teach him a little, then see if he gets to pick up from there. If you need to teach him every single thing, he lacks a good portion of grey matter.

2. There is a limit for repeat teachings. If you have to keep on repeating what you have taught him, that means he's not learning.

3. After a while, take him out of his cage and let him roam free. Should his head start to bloat again, I believe you need to move on to another guy. Again, don't teach him too much because by the time you break up with him, he would've learned a lot from you, uses it on his new girl, and you'll feel bitter because someone else has benefited from your hard work.

4. Generally, and I mean not everyone everytime, got characters like sand castles. eventually most, if not all, goes back to nothing. save his original character. Especially if you stick with him, he already knows what you tolerate, so he'll always try to push the boundaries.

5. Sooner or later, you'll get carried away from you new found authority and the boundaries starts to blur and you end up dominating him. He's a mama's boy. He's your boyfriend, not your son.


6. Try to list down his characters and habits, both good and bad. Check the bad ones that are not entirely acceptable and the one that are teachable. if there are too few things of his bad stuff that you find acceptable (without having to correct) especially if you listed more bad than good. Then I believe its time to move on.

I might have left out a few things, but this is generally what I live by. I don't stick around with people that I have to train like a dog. Just figure out the rest

[lilxcutie53]

3. After a while, take him out of his cage and let him roam free. Should his head start to bloat again, I believe you need to move on to another guy. Again, don't teach him too much because by the time you break up with him, he would've learned a lot from you, uses it on his new girl, and you'll feel bitter because someone else has benefited from your hard work.

4. Generally, and I mean not everyone everytime, got characters like sand castles. eventually most, if not all, goes back to nothing. save his original character. Especially if you stick with him, he already knows what you tolerate, so he'll always try to push the boundaries.

5. Sooner or later, you'll get carried away from you new found authority and the boundaries starts to blur and you end up dominating him. He's a mama's boy. He's your boyfriend, not your son.

some of the things that ive tried to train him at..

1) When we first started to date..it would be every week he would not call me one night he told me he would. and I wouldnt call him or nothing...and then the next day when he called I wouldnt pick up. then i would call him 2 hrs or more later and act all normal... now he only does it once every few months.

2) I would always wait for him to make initial contact, so when he would text..I would text back and then he wouldnt text me back for like 30, 1hr, 2 hrs...etc. so i started doing what he was doing and would wait just as long...now...we text all day long most days..and he doesnt take forever to text me back inbetween each text that we have..

3) One time...he said he would call me one day, and I was waiting around for him to call and didnt get a call from him until 1230 at night...didnt pick up the phone..then he called again, I didnt answer. then i waited the next day for him to call me again...he's never not called me past 8pm since. and even now if he doesnt call until 8. I make sure that ive made plans so that he doesnt think its ok for him to call that late..

4) When he tries to blame me...when I am able to catch it...I just tell him sorry, or sorry thats how u feel..yada yada...he still tries to do it. so that might be something ill just have to deal with..

5) Hes very passive aggressive, which I havent been able to figure out how to fix..If hes mad at me sometimes I wont know and he will distance himself (but in my head I can take a guess as to what he would be mad about..) This is the biggest problem we have in our relationship, bc we dont communicate well at all and it gets us no where. I get upset that hes distancing himself, because I only may have an idea of why hes doing it, but I dont actually know why for sure..so it makes me feel like he doesnt like me.

6) Sometimes he can be pretty disrespectful. its not only towards me tho. I've told him plenty of times not to talk to me the way that he does..It hasnt really worked that much. His friend has told me that when he acts like a douche I should back up and make him work for it..I just dont really have good enough control to do that.

7) I have trouble with trying to be considerate and compromise better. the way I try and fix it is if he tells me he wants to play something by ear..then Ill make other plans, or if I tell him I can only do something during a certain time and he doesnt want to bend to it and then says he will call me later or something, i make other plans..I only do this tho when I feel ive compromise a lot for him and feel he needs to do the same....this one is hard to explain..I dunno if I am making sense or not.

Those are just some of things ive tried to fix. Obviously there is more. but also there are a lot of good things about him too..

Can you explain 3,4 &5 for me in more detail so I can understand them better..

[nerdy_guy]

Your 1,2, and 3 are more or less the same. Time management issues. For me, its a minor issue which should be fixed and taught.

#4 --> is this your fault that he blames on you? (Because why would you apologize if its his fault?) IF it is, then you got the explanation to my #5

#5 > I sometimes do this in a positive manner. I quiet down so that I don't disrespect my woman. When my self-awareness tells me I'm getting emotional, I quiet down for a while so that I get to talk to her rather than get to a heated argument. I'll say he's playing mind games. If you did found a way to fix it, it'll be a temporary fix, not a permanent one.

#6 > You might find this very hard to believe but I would actually tell you not to teach him how to respect you. If he loves you, he will automatically respect you. Respect is not being taught, its being earned. FEAR... now THAT, is being taught.

#7 >Yes, for some strange twist of fate, I do Translation: I'll rather jack off, then wait if any of my friends wants to hang out with me. If I'm tired of jacking off and none of my friends wish to see what came out, then I'll call up my last resort girlfriend. You sure you want this guy?

Those are just some of things I've tried to fix. Obviously there is more. but also there are a lot of good things about him too.

Obviously, you've got a higher pain tolerance than I do. And I salute you for that. I don't think there are enough good things about him to compensate for such poor treatment. If I were in you're shoes, I'd rip out his spine and reattach it back by stuffing it up his tailpipe!

My posts:
#3 > After a while, you should stop teaching him stuff and see if he can implement those and not forget EVER! (Much better if a little tutelage goes a long way)
#4 > If he goes back to his old ways; which I'm anticipating he would; You should let him go. especially things that really matter in a relationship. It shows he doesn't love you enough to make an effort at all.
#5 > If you teach him too much stuff and he does it out of fear of retaliation, You might end up going crazy with you new found capabilities and start demanding things from him, causing him to resent you in the long run. In his "history of love" you'll end up as "Oh, that psycho ex-gf bitch of mine?, she bosses me around too much "

When you do these things, make sure you tell him why. TELL him. not scold him or make him feel bad okay? He's an idiot, not telling him would make you look like you're being childish in his eyes. He'd just feel you're retaliating. This, after all is love, not war.

[lilxcutie53]

#4 --> is this your fault that he blames on you? (Because why would you apologize if its his fault?) IF it is, then you got the explanation to my #5

and example would be that one time him and I were talking about my roommate julia and how she NEVER answers her phone..and he said "yah, ur becoming like that..you never answer your phone" which translates to: it bother me that you dont pick up your phone every time you call me, but I dont want to tell you that so I just blame you and I just said "yah, well sometimes its not on me.." its like he blames me for how hes feeling...

#5 > I sometimes do this in a positive manner. I quiet down so that I don't disrespect my woman. When my self-awareness tells me I'm getting emotional, I quiet down for a while so that I get to talk to her rather than get to a heated argument. I'll say he's playing mind games. If you did found a way to fix it, it'll be a temporary fix, not a permanent one.

It sorta is like mind games, but theres no reason for it. Ill admit that I used to passive aggressive sometimes, but that was bc I was afraid of speaking up. So I just acted upon how I felt and would distance myself if I didnt like how he was treating me rather then telling him. But now, ive been a lot better at it. If he does something I dont like..Ill call him out on it and then act upon my feelings. He's been a bit better at it. but he did admit to me once that he felt insecure about how he saw that one of my guy friends called and got upset about. obviously at the time that he saw it I had no idea that he was upset. so I asked him why he didnt just say anything then and he said that he didnt want to appear psycho and obsessive..and that he was trying to forget about it and stuff. so that shows that he hides his feelings..

#7 >Yes, for some strange twist of fate, I do Translation: I'll rather jack off, then wait if any of my friends wants to hang out with me. If I'm tired of jacking off and none of my friends wish to see what came out, then I'll call up my last resort girlfriend. You sure you want this guy?

I actually kinda figured out what it was...during school it was never like that, but im assuming that was bc everyone is so busy doing their own thing he was able to make me more of a priority, but his friends here at home dont have jobs really and are always available so they are calling him 24/7. I was actually with him tonight and 3 of his friends called within a 1 1.2 hr time period. so its like when he makes plans with his friends he always includes me them unless hes doing boy stuff that I wouldnt want to do anyways and he has the occasional guys night. which is fine. He'll normally be hanging out with a friend and then he will call me letting me know that him and so & so are doing X and if I want to come. but when all his friends are busy all day long are times when we spend like the whole day together. so I cant really tell if im a last resort or not. I mean tonight wasn't . he mentioned to me that we havent had much of him and I time...and i wanted to slap him upside the head and say "ohhh....reallllly?" but anyways so tonight he took me out to dinner and we spent the night together watching a movie. and his friends werent busy. So i guess I wasnt a last resort there.

Obviously, you've got a higher pain tolerance than I do. And I salute you for that. I don't think there are enough good things about him to compensate for such poor treatment. If I were in you're shoes, I'd rip out his spine and reattach it back by stuffing it up his tailpipe!

My posts:
#3 > After a while, you should stop teaching him stuff and see if he can implement those and not forget EVER! (Much better if a little tutelage goes a long way)
#4 > If he goes back to his old ways; which I'm anticipating he would; You should let him go. especially things that really matter in a relationship. It shows he doesn't love you enough to make an effort at all.
#5 > If you teach him too much stuff and he does it out of fear of retaliation, You might end up going crazy with you new found capabilities and start demanding things from him, causing him to resent you in the long run. In his "history of love" you'll end up as "Oh, that psycho ex-gf bitch of mine?, she bosses me around too much "



When you do these things, make sure you tell him why. TELL him. not scold him or make him feel bad okay? He's an idiot, not telling him would make you look like you're being childish in his eyes. He'd just feel you're retaliating. This, after all is love, not war.

with your #5..I never boss him around. Ive never complained to him about how he spends to much time with his friends, ive never complained that he doesnt call enough ( he calls enough, im just using it as an example) I only pull the rains on him when I feel like ive been too compromising to him and he needs to be more compromising with me.

How do you teach time management to a guy?


and today when he took me out and said that he was treating me, but I offered to buy my drink and he then said not to worry about it. then we went and got ice cream and I treated him to that. and he thanked me
so there is some improvement!!!

Also last night when we were laying in his bed before he went to sleep..he asked why I was so sexy and i was like "i know..im sooo pretty arent I?" and hes like "your not pretty..your beautiful" ive always known hes thought i was pretty but hes never said it like that to me before.

[nerdy_guy]

and example would be that one time him and I were talking about my roommate julia and how she NEVER answers her phone..and he said "yah, ur becoming like that..you never answer your phone" which translates to: it bother me that you dont pick up your phone every time you call me, but I dont want to tell you that so I just blame you and I just said "yah, well sometimes its not on me.." its like he blames me for how hes feeling...

Anyone would feel bad if their girlfriend won't bother answering the phone (Assuming you're really becoming like her.) especially if she's not busy. If he feels being because its your fault, then don't deflect it. accept it, apologize, learn. This is what you want from him. It would be fair to learn this yourself.

It sorta is like mind games, but theres no reason for it. Ill admit that I used to passive aggressive sometimes, but that was bc I was afraid of speaking up. So I just acted upon how I felt and would distance myself if I didnt like how he was treating me rather then telling him. But now, ive been a lot better at it. If he does something I dont like..Ill call him out on it and then act upon my feelings. He's been a bit better at it. but he did admit to me once that he felt insecure about how he saw that one of my guy friends called and got upset about. obviously at the time that he saw it I had no idea that he was upset. so I asked him why he didnt just say anything then and he said that he didnt want to appear psycho and obsessive..and that he was trying to forget about it and stuff. so that shows that he hides his feelings..

Why are you afraid of speaking up? will he bite you in the ass? Do you really think being passive aggressive solves your disputes? NEVER act upon your emotion. Your boyfriend is afraid of being branded a psycho obsessive you know why? because he knows he can't open his mouth while preventing his blood from boiling over. Hearts are only good for mushy stuff and make up sex, they suck at settling disputes. This is for the both of you. learn this well, and you'll have a large part of handling relationship figured out.

I actually kinda figured out what it was...during school it was never like that, but im assuming that was bc everyone is so busy doing their own thing he was able to make me more of a priority, but his friends here at home dont have jobs really and are always available so they are calling him 24/7. I was actually with him tonight and 3 of his friends called within a 1 1.2 hr time period. so its like when he makes plans with his friends he always includes me them unless hes doing boy stuff that I wouldnt want to do anyways and he has the occasional guys night. which is fine. He'll normally be hanging out with a friend and then he will call me letting me know that him and so & so are doing X and if I want to come. but when all his friends are busy all day long are times when we spend like the whole day together. so I cant really tell if im a last resort or not. I mean tonight wasn't . he mentioned to me that we havent had much of him and I time...and i wanted to slap him upside the head and say "ohhh....reallllly?" but anyways so tonight he took me out to dinner and we spent the night together watching a movie. and his friends werent busy. So i guess I wasnt a last resort there.

Everyone is busy in school so he's got nothing to do but hang out with you. Does that really sound high priority to you? At home he calls you up and says "Hey babe!, us guys want to do our stuff, you wanna tag along and be our audience?" If you see this as you being top priority, then its up to you. You said but when all his friends are busy all day long are times when we spend like the whole day together. so I cant really tell if im a last resort or not. If you considered the times when his friends are not busy, that's when you can tell if you're a last resort or not. Factor everything in. its just simple math. Being a last resort is actually up to you, how sensitive your tolerance level is.

with your #5..I never boss him around. Ive never complained to him about how he spends to much time with his friends, ive never complained that he doesnt call enough ( he calls enough, im just using it as an example) I only pull the rains on him when I feel like ive been too compromising to him and he needs to be more compromising with me.

I'm not saying you are. I'm saying sooner or later you'll be tempted to. Hard to resist the power of domination. Especially if he's such a good doggy. Be constant and talk. talk is important. Remember, in any relationship problem, there is a very fine line between teaching and retaliation, its easy to confuse one from the other. I'll give you a challenge, figure this one out. It's something like detecting which is the persistent guy from creepy guy or the stalker. they vary just a bit from each other.

How do you teach time management to a guy?

Case to case basis. No template answer for this. Just remember to be constant.

and today when he took me out and said that he was treating me, but I offered to buy my drink and he then said not to worry about it. then we went and got ice cream and I treated him to that. and he thanked me so there is some improvement!!! Also last night when we were laying in his bed before he went to sleep..he asked why I was so sexy and i was like "i know..im sooo pretty arent I?" and hes like "your not pretty..your beautiful" ive always known hes thought i was pretty but hes never said it like that to me before.

I'm not really used to asking my woman to pay for anything (although sometimes when she see's me drooling at a high tech gadget in a store window, she just goes right in and buys it for me. No occasion, and I never even asked for it), so I really can't comment on this. I'm not used to counting really, and so is she. So we're compatible that way. Well, to each his own I guess. I'm glad things are working out for you.