Number of Sexual Partners

[kellie_skye]

Being afraid of being labelled a slut myself, I've actually come to my own conclusion about promiscuity. It depends on cicumstances, as almost every debate, cloning, abortion, whatever, does. Say you have a girl that has sex with a different guy each day, is never in a relationship, I would classify her as way too promiscuous. A girl who is in a few good strong relationships, a few of which she has sex in, is not. I myself have had sex with almost as many guys as you guys are talking about, but I wouldn't consider myself a slut. I was in a relationship for most of them, and/or I had very strong feelings for the guy. Plus, as you get older, you're going to have slept with more people, logically. Therefore age is relevant too. I may have slept with a few too many guys for my age, but I'm comfortable with that, I felt it was right at the time. Consider also, the reasons for having sex. Some girls/guys have sex because they need to feel wanted, and I feel that these people aren't sluts or whatever, they're just misguided. Others do it for fun, or to screw with people's lives, I feel that's wrong. It's all relative. Consider the unique individual circumstances before judging someone.

[ALovelyLady86]

Wow I leave for 2 days from screwed up DSL and it turned into a serious debate here lol....

Friendly-I have no boyfriend... probably because I'm too picky

Misombra-It musy be nice to be able to say Bite Me to someone and then say Oh I'm sorry it was PMS... learn not to use PMS as an excuse...I dont and I'm only 19...

Hmm... looks like we've all gotten into it pretty deeply here.. like normal I guess.

I'm just going to make my opinion simple..
In my opinion, a person, not just woman, who sleeps with multiple people without really assessing the situation and asking themself if this is a person they really love, is a hoe. A person whos dated a lot of men or women "lovingly" and a person whos f*cked a lot of men or women with no love are the same to me. I dont think its possible to love that many people. The person who posted above saying she doesnt think shes a slut because she loved them all, to me sounds rediculous. She needs to learn what love really is. And to keep her pants on.

Its really all quite simple, its all about opinion. My opinion is, I'm not a slut. I've been with one person lovingly, and that same person sexually. I'm not going to say hey I like this guy alot so let me have sex with him because maybe hes the one. I'm going to make sure hes what I really want and need at the time before we do have sex cause let me tell ya... things DO change, feelings do change, people move on, but I am going to at least make the desicion in my mind that this is what I want and I'm going to keep that decision and not go for anything else. Maybe it comes with stubbornness, maybe it comes with the atmosphere... who knows. All I know is once I've decided to love someone, I do. And when I say love I mean be there for them, think of their well-being, talk to them when they need someone to talk to, be patient with them, be kind to them, not envy them...

So.. that is MY opnion..I dont care if anyone agrees...I dont care if some people think I'm prude or stubborn..I AM! But I also have HIGH standards... I want more for myself so therefore I'm not going to settle. There...simple.. I'm done.

[misombra]

lady...okay then. i'm not sorry.

sophie...i got my fortune cookies today yaaaaaaaaaaaay thank youuuuuuuuuu!

[misombra]

Hehe, I'm going to have to agree with the Virge here.

Also, I just wanted to point out that I can totally tell when Misombra is going through... that time of the month. This power delights me.

As far as this actual topic goes, I agree with Misombra that sluttiness is more of an attitude. Depending on the situation (i.e. the girl and how much I liked her), the limit would fluctuate. In fact, the limit has no real bearing at all. I would just make up an extremely high limit for a girl I was in love with, and a suitable excusatory one for some dirty little ho-bag. In fact, I'm doing the latter as we speak. (In my mind.)

Actually, this thread has given me a lot to think about. As a male, you are presented with easy sexual opportunities very rarely, and you have to think hard about whether to take them. I can count two situations where I have actually refused sex. And the girls that I have "f*cked and jizzed all over" were and still are very special to me.

Every decision is meaningful. We don't live in a vaccuum. Choose wisely.

Peace.

wow somebody is agreeing with me. leave it to xdonutboyx to know wisdom when he sees it. you know why i love you donut boy, it's cause you're so young yet you don't subscribe to the black and white thinking most people your age do. you actually want to learn things and are open to them. that's more than you can say for most people.

oh man your head is the size of a yoga ball isn't it? you know i love you baby.

[artyemi]

cool!

I was surprised to see that it got there this early.

Anyway, I like discussions that can persuade me to think a different way.

[ALovelyLady86]

Oh Misombra.. you just like Bohemian because hes agreeing with you lol how cute

Oh and... ya I dont care if you apologize or not allI'm saying is learn to control yourself and then I'll be impressed.

[misombra]

i'm not trying to impress you. and i like donut boy because he's cool. he doesn't always agree with me but he doesn't talk to me like i'm a child either. ahem, hint.

[Only-virgins]

i like donut boy because he's cool.

hahahaha...oh your not kidding...

[nomas]

My question remains unanswered.

Friendly...I think you've established that 100 sex partners constitutes a slut and 0 sex partners constitutes a worthy woman with high standards, etc. etc. Where's the cut off point? What's that magic number?

[artyemi]

My question remains unanswered.

Friendly...I think you've established that 100 sex partners constitutes a slut and 0 sex partners constitutes a worthy woman with high standards, etc. etc. Where's the cut off point? What's that magic number?

It's one of those unanswerable question.

[kellie_skye]

A person whos dated a lot of men or women "lovingly" and a person whos f*cked a lot of men or women with no love are the same to me. I dont think its possible to love that many people. The person who posted above saying she doesnt think shes a slut because she loved them all, to me sounds rediculous. She needs to learn what love really is. And to keep her pants on.

I didn't say love, I said strong feelings. I cared so much about all the guys I've slept with so far. Perhaps at the time I thought I did love them. With time I've learnt that I cared, but it wasn't love. I don't think that distinction matters though because does anyone really know what love is? I also think it's very possible to care about many people. Take a good look at a family. They all care, or course, not carnally, but its very possible to care about many people simultaneously....sorry, on a tangent there.

To add to the debate, no one ever said anything about how many TIMES you've slept with someone. For all you know, someone may have slept with 5 people but only once.

Oh, and for your information, I don't screw around, I'm NOT a slut, all the derogatory names are just labels, and if you think you can put people down by labelling them, which is I guess the real issue here, then thats the labeller's problem. Even the girl at my school that brags about her conquests every frickin day I don't consider a slut, because then I'd be as bad as the people that label me, hypocritical even. Labels are ****ing stupid if you ask me.

I repeat, I think this should not be an issue, sexuality it relative people, we all just need to be more accepting of others and their views.

[Fawn]

Well, Kellie does have a good point. We shouldn't label people so easily.

Our sex lives are supposed to be private, but we all seem to easily talk about our sex lives on a public forum. In real life, if someone was to talk about there "conquests" all the time, I would give them that "label." You might be proud to be sleeping around or telling everyone your conquests, but its actually quite disgusting because most people really don't want to know.

I've only had 3 partners. I've had serious relationships with two of them and one was with a friend (rebound sex after my first partner moved away and we broke up). Still friends with him though. Anyways in my opinion, people should be careful when choosing partners. You may care for that person, but you should give yourself a time period before you have sex with someone. Alot of the time, people can get screwed over because they had sex with the person to early. Then the guy/girl leaves because they got what they want.

Everybodys different and we ll have our own views. But, in the age of STD's, HIV and Aids, people should be more careful when choosing people to sleep with.

[kellie_skye]

Well, Kellie does have a good point. We shouldn't label people so easily.

Our sex lives are supposed to be private, but we all seem to easily talk about our sex lives on a public forum. In real life, if someone was to talk about there "conquests" all the time, I would give them that "label." You might be proud to be sleeping around or telling everyone your conquests, but its actually quite disgusting because most people really don't want to know.

I've only had 3 partners. I've had serious relationships with two of them and one was with a friend (rebound sex after my first partner moved away and we broke up). Still friends with him though. Anyways in my opinion, people should be careful when choosing partners. You may care for that person, but you should give yourself a time period before you have sex with someone. Alot of the time, people can get screwed over because they had sex with the person to early. Then the guy/girl leaves because they got what they want.

Everybodys different and we ll have our own views. But, in the age of STD's, HIV and Aids, people should be more careful when choosing people to sleep with.

Hear hear!! I agree.

I was trying to use my experiences to illustrate my point as well. But yes, I agree with what you're saying as well.

[Only-virgins]

Its not about labels. its about standards. Look at it this way..I really do not care how many freaking people you slept with, I will be nice to you, treat you like everyone else, but dating you is out of the question...thats all. If I was to meet a premiscuous female that wanted to date me I would be friends with her but I just don't want to date them...she would just embarass me.

[ALovelyLady86]

Oh ya absolutely... Just because I know someones slept with a million guys (Keichi again I dont mean a million lol) doesnt mean I'm going to treat her any differently than any other person...
My room mate for example lol.. she gets around and she knows it... isnt afraid to talk about it, but I talk to her like shes anyone else. We do our girl talk thing.... its just like with anyone else. Just because I dont agree with her behavior doesnt mean I should speak my mind UNLESS she asks my opnion.