Should your Husband have close Female friends

[Am I crazy?]

sorry vinny for assuming you had a woman, now get back to work.

[michelle23]

he does have a woman. if you had been here longer than 5 minutes, you would know that

[Am I crazy?]

Michelle23,

Geez I feel like I am getting close to knowing you. How about you have your boss fire you and we can start an "emotional affair" and then eventually dump our partners and run off to a nude beach in the tropics?

[michelle23]

blah blah blah loser

[Am I crazy?]

"blah blah blah loser", yeah, right back at ya.

[TablesandChairs]

People of the opposite gender are everywhere - shock horror. They make up around 50% of any given population. Should we ignore them? Pretend they don't exist? Run away from friendships, screaming 'I can't be your friend because you're a man/woman and that's not okay!!!'.

OF COURSE men and women can be friends and of course, people need to have boundaries with each other if they're in other relationship. Some of my male friends have helped me through a lot throughout the years...break-ups, depression...whatever. They've shown support and I've done the same. I would never kick them to the curb just because my partner was insecure; I would explain that the friendship was on a platonic level and wouldn't do anything inappropriate but if they still had a problem, then they can go be insecure elsewhere. Partners shouldn't put each other in prisons...

That said, in the OP's case...he's messing around with a teenage girl during your honey moon. The dude has some issue.

[Am I crazy?]

tablesandchairs

Finally somebody else with common sense! Thank you!

[michelle23]

I never said that you should completely ignore the opposite sex. Its okay to be friendly, polite, have a chat every now and again etc. All I am saying is your partner should be your best friend. By investing too much time in someone else, it can lead to problems and often does. My partner is the first person I turn to for emotional support if I need it and vice versa. If we were having problems, I would turn to family, female friends, a counselor or this forum. I wouldn't find a new best male friend at work and tell him all my problems and spend all my time texting him, talking to him, ringing him etc etc. That is an emotional affair-when you have all the aspects of a relationship bar physical contact and it can lead to that.

There is a different between being friendly and being best friends.

[bcgirl]

I'm a female. With my female friends, I can share a few glasses of wine with in my pj's and if she makes a comment on how big my tits look in my tight tank top it would be much different than a male friend making the exact comment. Even though friendships should have a sense of open-ness and you should be able to be comfortable among your friends. There are just some things where male/female friendships can never cross. For me, it can be a simple thing like going to the beach with my guy friend. He'll end up trying not to stare at my double D's and my 24 inch waist while I'm in my teeny weeny bikini (which will make things just plain awkward). Now if it was my girlfriend, I would know there aren't any physical attraction there. A girl can simply say "omg, I'm so jealous of your body" a guy would say "damn, I wish I found a girl who had your body"

[michelle23]

and you could be having a glass of wine, end up drunk and crying about your marriage problems. A female friend would hug you and cry with you. All it takes is a split second to read the signals wrong with a male friend and before you know it-you could have kissed..

Not worth it

[dickriculous]

I'm a female. With my female friends, I can share a few glasses of wine with in my pj's and if she makes a comment on how big my tits look in my tight tank top it would be much different than a male friend making the exact comment.

Funny because for a guy if a woman talks about his penis he's either like "ooh yeah baby tell me more", or at worst he'll be uninterested in which case he'll be like "meh" and then forget about it 5 seconds later. But if another guy says the same thing he's like "YOU FUKKING PHAGGOT I'LL KILL YOU!!!!"

You ladies get to have all the fun lol we can't say anything to either gender without stirring up a shit storm.

Real talk here - I don't understand either mentality. Any and all controversy associated with the human body is completely arbitrary and because of that, it simply makes no sense to me that anyone would be uncomfortable with another person (of either gender) talking about any part of their body. I can't even fathom it really. I know, 99% of the world is socialized to think that way. But I see all kinds of gaping holes in said socialization no matter what angle I view it from.

I think I belong in a nudist colony or something.

[Am I crazy?]

"and you could be having a glass of wine, end up drunk and crying about your marriage problems" And when you walk outside today a bird could crap on you. You should probably never ever go outside again just to make sure you don't get crapped on. If you are afraid of getting crapped on in a relationship then instead of setting silly rules you should probably just decide to never date.

[michelle23]

you make it sound as if its rare and any sane person knows its not. affairs happen a lot whether you wana believe it or not. most people dont even realize they are having one till its too late. if you want your relationship to last (which is also rare these days) then it is good to take measures to avoid falling into certain traps.

[bcgirl]

Funny because for a guy if a woman talks about his penis he's either like "ooh yeah baby tell me more", or at worst he'll be uninterested in which case he'll be like "meh" and then forget about it 5 seconds later. But if another guy says the same thing he's like "YOU FUKKING PHAGGOT I'LL KILL YOU!!!!"

You ladies get to have all the fun lol we can't say anything to either gender without stirring up a shit storm.

Real talk here - I don't understand either mentality. Any and all controversy associated with the human body is completely arbitrary and because of that, it simply makes no sense to me that anyone would be uncomfortable with another person (of either gender) talking about any part of their body. I can't even fathom it really. I know, 99% of the world is socialized to think that way. But I see all kinds of gaping holes in said socialization no matter what angle I view it from.

I think I belong in a nudist colony or something.

Yes our society has set social ways of interacting between male and female. With my girlfriends we can comment on how sexy each one of us are but it would be socially gay if it was guys talking about things like that with each other. Gender roles where girl = feminine. Boy = macho

[Am I crazy?]

Actually, they are not as common as you think. It only seems that way when you are paranoid and obsessively worry about them happening. If I were worried about my hair falling out I could research baldness and worry about it all day. I could even back my worries up by looking at my bald friends as proof that it could happen. but then I could look in the mirror and see that I still have hair and realize that its not worth my time and effort to worry about things that "could" happen. That's a sucky way to live your life.