Hearts Broken - Long... :(

[Tommy]

Well, I ran into her at the tanning salon about an hour ago or so. She was with her little sister, we talked for 15 minutes about life, car accident, jobs etc.

She had to leave to get ready for work, I asked her if she wanted to hang out later tonight and she said no.

I was like lol why, she said "cuz I don't want to".

Then she said "what is there to do?" and I said we'll find something.

My hope is dwindling and after tonight I bet will be gone. I can then stop contact for good, and try and move on.... Although I do not want to, I love her so much and am so broken right now, but maybe it's best.

[whaywardj]

And another one bites the dust. Let it go, bro. Let it go.

[Tone]

):





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[MrDrum]

Honestly you should of broke contact a long time ago. She has no feelings for you, and doesn't want to continue anything, so its time to move on amigo. You guys are both way too young as it is. You are both growing, learning who you actually are, and have simply grown seperate directions. Thats why relationships at around 20 rarely work.. because by the time you hit 26-27, you are a completely different person.

Let her go, let her do her thing, do your OWN thing. Work on improving yourself for the better. Get an education, get a job, get in shape, start making something of yourself, and if things are meant to be, she will come back at some point.

You are just a kid, and obviously have a ton of growing up to do. Instead of burning money on "twin turbos" for your mustang, you should be preparing for the future, paying off debt, saving for a downpayment on some property... "Growing up" will catch up with you soon, and you better be ready.

Things will look up in the future. The best thing to do is to not dwell on what has happened, just go live your life. This wont be the first time.

[whaywardj]

You just HAD to mention "get in shape," didn't you, Drum? Just to make the rest of us feel bad about ourselves. Now I'm gonna have to get up and walk around my living room once or twice.

[Tommy]

Honestly you should of broke contact a long time ago. She has no feelings for you, and doesn't want to continue anything, so its time to move on amigo. You guys are both way too young as it is. You are both growing, learning who you actually are, and have simply grown seperate directions. Thats why relationships at around 20 rarely work.. because by the time you hit 26-27, you are a completely different person.

Let her go, let her do her thing, do your OWN thing. Work on improving yourself for the better. Get an education, get a job, get in shape, start making something of yourself, and if things are meant to be, she will come back at some point.

You are just a kid, and obviously have a ton of growing up to do. Instead of burning money on "twin turbos" for your mustang, you should be preparing for the future, paying off debt, saving for a downpayment on some property... "Growing up" will catch up with you soon, and you better be ready.

Things will look up in the future. The best thing to do is to not dwell on what has happened, just go live your life. This wont be the first time.

I broke it long ago, she continued to call me after I wouldn't call her. Mere coincidence I ran into her today considering she lives like 18 miles from the tanning salon or some junk.

I guess i'll start trying to improve MY life.

I don't have much debt, twin turbos are fun

Also i'll have a house by this time next year so i'm not to worried. School is my top priority although it's been lacking due to my emotional hell recently.

[Jsnowman]

Tommy, I just got done reading all six pages of this post. You've done a great job buddy. Much better than I've handled my situation but I know I could've done worse
She's young, so are you. I know it hurts no matter how old you are but there will be others if she is not the one. The one thing that I have been told in my whole ordeal is that you never know what the future may hold. This could be happening for a reason, but I also believe that we(humans) have a big say in our destinies.
Now, listen to me. I was with my girl for five years. Long time. It has been five months since we broke up. What have I been doing? Obsessing about her. You're only in month one. You've got a long way to go before you will heal. But the truth is, the harder you strive to hold onto this, the harder it will be to get past it. No one is saying not to feel like crap. You will, but what else can you do right now. Sounds to me you've done just about everything you can. Give her the gift of missing you....no matter how long it takes. Like you said in one of your posts, you may not be around for her by then. If that is the case, so be it. But make that choice when it arrises. In my five months away from my ex, I have treated it like a prison sentence instead of an opportunity. I have done a lot to better myself but the one thing that I have not done is leave her alone. It's not too late for you to start...just like it is not too late for me to start. This is my second time going through this It has not gotten any easier...just familiar Trust me and everyone else on this forum when we say, let it go, better yourself and things will work themselves out in the long run. How are things going btw? Give us an update.

[Tone]

Yeah, I demand an update!

[Tommy]

You asked there for you shall have!

Well after I finally decided with the help of you all to confront the situation the road has taken some different curves and turns.

Short of it, things happened we cannot change, it's in the past and will stay there. We are truly working on our issues and our communication. I have worked on my short fuse and she is trying to stay more positive and continue her progression towards a mature young woman. Same with me, maturity level seems to have raised quiet alot since this whole experience, and really since I started posting on here.

I took the advice of either ending it or saving it. I didn't give her an ultimatum, just stated I need to stop feeling miserable, and there is 2 ways. Either we work it out, if that's what she wants, or I move on, with NC for a VERY long time, if ever.

I posted on [url]www.myspace.com[/url] with my photos, info, etc. She saw it and got upset saying she didn't like the idea of me being on there for people to see me and hook up etc. I think it was a real realization that she WILL loose me if things didn't change.

So since last thursday - the night I confronted her, we spent the night with eachother at a friends house - talked to eachother, hugged, cuddled and ya....

It really feels like everything is back to normal, but in a better sense. I am more sensitive to her needs and feelings, and she is to mine. Although I don't like some of the friends she has made in my absence I feel they will eventually just go away.

Last night we BBQ'd at my house. I made her some killer steak, grilled corn, potatoe salad, garlic bread, brownies etc (mmmm brownies *drool*). Was really nice to sit there and just talk and eat and look at her since it's been so long.

We started to watch "Hitch" with will smith, had a good time, then decided to head to my room to just cuddle. Both feel asleep in eachothers arms, she eventually woke up at her curfew, kissed me lots and told me she loves me.

This is the type of situation it's been the past couple days since thursday. It really seems and I hope this will work out for the best.

I'm just trying to stay positive, continue my change to make myself a better person and just be happy.

I also bought something I plan to use in the coming future if fates allow. I'll get a pic and post it, but it's 1.02 Ct. and rather pretty .

Although I know i'm thinking far ahead it was a good deal so I figured WTf not

Anyway - We'll see how the road goes, i'll keep ya in the loop as things progress.

P.S. Before any of this happened about a 3 weeks to a month ago, I had plans with her to go with her ENTIRE family to Sand Hollow (big lake) in Southern Ut. Obviously with the pending break up those plans were scratched, but the other night she told me "I really wish you were coming to Sand Hollow with us still. I told her, i'm there if she wants me to be. So now we have our own tent, camping supplys, renting some waverunners etc etc. So ya, things are BRIGHTER AFTER THE RAIN. Hopefully no clouds show up soon, cuz I feel a hell of alot better about myself and our relationship.

Thanks again to everyone, don't be a stranger, i'll jump in here every couple days. I leave thursday- Sunday BTW so i'll be gone for that time.

Catch ya

[Asip4u]

Way to go Tommy...I'm very glad things are going your way. Yea, come and post with us whenever you get free time. Peace bro

[Tone]

Tommy, so glad to hear things are working out for you guys. I don't think you know how much I mean that. Just always keep yourself humble. Remember there are countless guys who have been in a similair situation to you and didn't get their girl back, so don't ever take it for granted. So let go of the petty things and just keep up what you doin man.

That's so great.

Enjoy your time at Sand Hollow. :)

[Tommy]

Wouldn't of been possible if it weren't for you all. Seriously the best bunch of people i've met

[whaywardj]

Aww. Just like Oxygen and Lifetime: Another happy ending. Congrats Tommy. Stay the course.

[inkeepingsecret]

good stuff Tommy. Glad to hear things actually do work out sometimes. Good luck, and check back.

[artyemi]

Last night we BBQ'd at my house. I made her some killer steak, grilled corn, potatoe salad, garlic bread, brownies etc (mmmm brownies *drool*). Was really nice to sit there and just talk and eat and look at her since it's been so long.

We started to watch "Hitch" with will smith, had a good time, then decided to head to my room to just cuddle. Both feel asleep in eachothers arms, she eventually woke up at her curfew, kissed me lots and told me she loves me.

Ya think this is the recipe for getting someone back?

I wouldn't mind.