you know what's helped me and m keep our commitment? dogs.
you know what's helped me and m keep our commitment? dogs.
baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.
The children I know who grew up with single parents had it a lot worse than yelling and neglect believe me. Try not having any education because they were forced to work for a living when they hit puberty because mum can't provide any longer. Try getting abused by new mum's boyfriend. Running away from home. Living on the streets.
In that case you shouldn't get married or have children with a future partner.
Last edited by Mish; 11-03-09 at 11:14 AM.
Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
Towards the sun, carry your name
In warm hands you are given
Ask the wind for the way
Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
Accept all as it is and do not blame
God or the Devil
~Born to Live - Mavrik~
what about two people who are not married and are still a two parent household?
i thought maybe we were talking about them. there's something of a dichotomy going on in this argument.
also, what you just said is no different from my argument about abusive two parent households. there's a good number of both.
baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.
My last reply was specific to OV's comments, not to what we discussed.
I don't agree with abusive two parent households (married or non married). They should either find healthy solutions or split for good. Though in proportion to reasons why people split, these are a minority.
Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
Towards the sun, carry your name
In warm hands you are given
Ask the wind for the way
Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
Accept all as it is and do not blame
God or the Devil
~Born to Live - Mavrik~
what are the reasons you think people get divorced?
baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.
Yeah some of that happened to me, though I won't disclose what. I think everything falls right where it belongs... like that Nine Inch Nails song. For instance, hard work has got me where I am going. I have a friend who grew up the child of a rich realtor and a high school teacher. He's pulling mediocre grades in college, because all he does is play video games and party. Parents buy him everything. I grew up the son of a single mom, with siblings. Somehow I made it out and ended up in college. If you ask me, it was hard work that got me here. And to be honest, I have better grades than that rich guy, and I have 3 times as many disciplines as him. The interesting thing is that there are a lot of people here at my college in the same situation. All made it out.
Sometimes we forget we are animals. We imagine this perfect world, where every child should start out at the same pace. But here in reality, that will never be viable. And it's hard to see that because we fabricate our own worlds Because we are animals susceptible to the laws of nature. The strong ones live on and the weak ones die off. The weak marriages crumble to divorce, the ones held together by strong love last to death. And that's the funny thing, we expect every marriage to last. We think every love is the same, and that it will conform to vows of marriage. Sometimes love isn't about commitment.
The people who get divorced are the ones who commit themselves without knowing any of that shit. They find out the hard way what all of this is, and then they realize it's not for them. So what? That's just how things are at this day in age. Bravo to anyone who does have a successful marriage. I just think it's silly to advise people not to get married because things didn't necessarily work out for you. That, my friends, is what we call ignorance!
Impulse marriages. People these days get married before they know what love is... before they even know how a successful relationship takes place!
Well, in this country anyway.... I mean, you can't really say marriage in a vaccuum. Our society and everything has a lot to do with this stuff. Especially women's rights and women being independent.
Majority of marriages statistically end due to irreconcilable differences.
What's sad is that with right understanding of communication, listening and empathic skills (and other), majority of those irreconcilable differences could be reconciled. People just don't invest enough of themselves to make somethings as complicated as a long term relationship work. On many occasions, because giving up is too easy and because they lack proper support.
Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
Towards the sun, carry your name
In warm hands you are given
Ask the wind for the way
Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
Accept all as it is and do not blame
God or the Devil
~Born to Live - Mavrik~
My parents were happily married. My sister experimented with sex and drugs.
My sister had huge emotional issues all through high school. She resented authority and had depression. To this date, I have attempted suicide four times.
My sister and I were abused severely. By our mother. Mostly emotionally, some physically. When I turned thirteen, she took to calling my sister and I names, like "slut" and "bitch". My father never said anything.
We were poor until I hit middle school. We (the kids) never realized how poor we were. We both got great grades during that time too.
My point is that anyone can be a bad parent, or a good parent for that matter, whether they're married our not.
And all those arguments aren't necessarily based on fact. They come from a biased site, firstly. Secondly, they are statistics and/or studies. Ever taken a statistics class? You can pretty much make a statistic say whatever you want it to. A study is just as flimsy because they can "study" a group of people that will offer the statistics they desire.
Actual references from the study or lab it came from are best, but still, it may not be factual or represent the truth.
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
I was talking about non marital relationship on that one.
But yes, even in marriages, people don't invest themselves as much as they should to make it work. The time required to end the relationship is there in hopes they will seize the opportunity and put that time to the right use.
Last edited by Mish; 11-03-09 at 02:29 PM.
Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
Towards the sun, carry your name
In warm hands you are given
Ask the wind for the way
Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
Accept all as it is and do not blame
God or the Devil
~Born to Live - Mavrik~
I think that is rather obvious. Marriage just gives additional benefits to the child discussed earlier. They are legal, psychological and cultural benefits. You can choose to give them just the basics or you can choose to give them the full cover. The choice is yours.
Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
Towards the sun, carry your name
In warm hands you are given
Ask the wind for the way
Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
Accept all as it is and do not blame
God or the Devil
~Born to Live - Mavrik~