Need some Ideas!

[Rosebud]

lol.... that's it. I get that evil smirk a lot! haha I just get a big old grin on my face and continue to watch his toes curl. hee hee

[whaywardj]

Ha! And you said whips and chains weren't your thing. Liar!

[Rosebud]

well true pain no, but frustartion yes!

[whaywardj]

As if frustration isn't true pain? Like, if you don't see blood and bruises, it doesn't hurt? What the hell you smokin' and when did you become a sucker for emotional abuse?

[Rosebud]

LOL.. wait a minute here you know that's not what I was talking about.. I like seeing him squirm with anticipation and excitement. I'm so not a sucker for abuse? but then again if you classify that as abuse then maybe maybe I am.

[Mish]

Mishanya, I crave to have those feelings of when we first met back as all I had to do was kiss him and his whole body would be "excited". Now it takes more work to do that. He gets stressed due to work which ruins his libido so I like to do things to spice it up but I'm also working against insecurities from all these issues. I'm doing my best here because sex between us is great and it's often but I like having the heat before we do anything and the craving of it. He's not hard to please but I want him to say wow! damn!

Rosie, my concern is that you are putting too much emphasis on the physical interaction and the act and you are not exploring enough of other avenues that make "Great Sex" a reality. Physical interaction is great, but there are only that many positions you can try and that many physical things you can do before (Eventually) all setups become predictable and boring. I think as well as trying all these physical variations you should begin the emotional exploration of what binds two people together, how you can add to the experience of complimenting each other on both emotional and physical levels, how two people combine into one not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. How to make him tingle and for the hair to stand on the back of his neck with just a simple touch. Sex between the two of you should be not just a favourite past time but an experience. Unforgetable. Emotion Full.

Anyways, just my 2 Cs

[Rosebud]

So how would one go about doing that then??

[Mish]

So how would one go about doing that then??

This is probably one of the most difficult questions one can ask. It's less of a set of activites and more of a journey.

Everything comes back to yourself and your partner, your ideals, your spirituallity, what would make both of you view yourselves as not just seperate people, but physical, emotional and spiritual extentions of one anotherr? I wish there was a way of achieving that by having some sort of sexuality self assessment test, but i don't think there is one in existence.

I guess you will have to find all essential components as you go, while keeping your eye on the goal. Start with basic questions for both yourself and him, what turns you on physically, what turns you on emotionaly, what turns you on rationally, what is the combined effect of all three on you... How you can change a routined situation by manipulating what you have at your disposal. You might find that there may be a certain texture, certain scent, certain style that has an intense appeal to either you or your partner. Once you start getting answers to the questions above, start slowly changing your environment into the one that drives both emotional and physical senses ...And don't forget sexuality is an interchanging process, what turned one person on in the past may not do so in the future. So in reality it's a constant quest for experiment and knowledge...

[Rosebud]

OK well I understand a little bit more of what you are saying now. I'm a very spiritual (not religous) person. We do connect on a lot of different levels and we even finish each others sentences without having to say too many words. He is totally differnet than I am in several ways but that's what keeps both of us on our toes. The main things we have in common. All those things you have mentioned are things I ask myself all the time. My bf is not an emotional person.. well he doesn't show that side to people he doesn't know. So it's hard to figure out what he thinks. I have said for awhile we have good communication but that seems to be dwindeling as well, since when I ask him something if he says a smart remark I just back off and stop the conversation becasue I get hurt by what he says or I don't want to get hurt by what he says. Now this is my fault and I know it, but the type of person I am, I have to get myself outside the box and look in and see all the problems so I know where to start and what to work on. As you've noticed how this thread started and how it is now is totally different. I'm just having a hell of a time stepping outside the box and I normally don't even on my own issues.

Well in any case I'm starting off by doing some of the physical things whihc some time help to bring the emotional mental aspect back for awhile too. Whihc reminds me, I still have to find that damn french maid outfit!!!! LOL

Sorry for all the mispellings, I type fast and mispell a lot!

[misombra]

I have a variation on that theme you might enjoy, Rosebud, I call it "The Hover." By whatever means -- mouth, penis, fingers, dildo, whatever -- I bring you the VERY EDGE of orgasm, threaten to take you over it, then pause...back off...and do it again. Several times. Each time making you feel as if THIS is going to be the time you cum. It's deliciously tortuous! Leaves the girls panting wide-eyed in their own sweat when I do finally take them over their edge. Does wonders to guys, too.

I'd be happy to introduce you to the technique...

this ought to go on your resume.

[whaywardj]

Damn, Mishanya. You sound like me in my most awful literary moments.

[whaywardj]

this ought to go on your resume.

WHAT AN IDEA YOU'VE PROVOKED, MISOMBRA! Why not let's ALL write our sexual resumes and post them?!

[misombra]

WHAT AN IDEA YOU'VE PROVOKED, MISOMBRA! Why not let's ALL write our sexual resumes and post them?!

i may have to hire a resume expert for mine.

[whaywardj]

You rang?

_____________________

[Mish]

Damn, Mishanya. You sound like me in my most awful literary moments.

I can relate a little to these situations. I don't think continuos emphasis on just the physical aspects of a sexual relationship is enough to alleviate boredom and routine (They are actually contributing factors to such), it's only a matter of time until the new physical excitement catalyst becomes old news. From my experience anyway. Then I discovered ways of emotional expression through these physical acts and personaly found it a lot more gratifying and longer lasting than preoccupation with body parts and pieces of clothing (shallowness of which becomes apparent after over use)