Counselling how should I proceed?

[lilly1185]

Let us know how you do!
It's always great when a person decides to get better for themselves. Proud of ya, hun!

[Gigabitch]

I don't want a guy who is anti porn you know why? Because I don't think an anti porn man would be as sexual as I want and need. I don't think that guy exists, perhaps you could argue he does...

My husband claims to be disinterested in porn and he's a sex fiend. Maybe he's some kind of mutant, though, since he also cleans the bathroom and is nice to our cats.

Thanks for your support ladies I hope with some time a little help I can become a better person for myself and my partner.

Girl! You are a perfectly good person right now! You just have some issues. God, don't do that to yourself. You do NOT need to be a "better person".

[girl68]

My husband claims to be disinterested in porn and he's a sex fiend. Maybe he's some kind of mutant, though, since he also cleans the bathroom and is nice to our cats.

Hahaha yes, mutant indeed I'd consider you lucky! Hehehe...

Girl! You are a perfectly good person right now! You just have some issues. God, don't do that to yourself. You do NOT need to be a "better person".

Thanks bitch

Not a "better" person per se, I just want to sort out these issues to be a umm more secure person

[IndiReloaded]

well guess what you are going to be in a couple of years. or to your bf you already are.

Dig, STFU already. Elle isn't Girl. Elle was a shameless, unapologetic bint who deserved the ribbing she got and reveled in the attention.

Girl is actually taking steps to improve herself. I think there's a big difference. There's a fine line b/t using the stick to make someone aware of a problem and zeroing in on an insecurity and being a total bitch about it. Same as how we stopped kicking *your* ass when you actually woke up from your situation and did something about it.

Girl, I agree with Giga. You are fine as you are, just trying to do better. Same as all of us. Change your thinking a bit about this.

[lilly1185]

I hope I didn't start this "being a better person" tift. It's just a good thing when you start doing things differently and realising you're better for it, and then everything else gets better. Things sort of fall into place.

No Girl, there isn't anything wrong with you, you just have some personal stuff to work out. As Indi said, and as I meant to mean; you're trying to do better for yourself. You'll feel great about it later (needed to get away from "better")

[girl68]

Don't worry ladies I just meant it as self improvement!

Overall I do still believe I'm a good person, good heart blah blah blah... just a have a few issues. I'm going to try improve my thought process and all that good stuff.

Just spoke with therpist number 1 $160 bucks... oh hell no! LOL but she was very sweet and said she would love to be my point of contact and resources for me that will better fit my needs

[lilly1185]

*cheers* Yes, self-improvement.
Sometimes we all need a little re-wiring in the emotional department.

I applaud you for taking your first steps. 160 is pricey but at least you have a starting point.

[girl68]

HEHE... I was a little shocked but it's okay.

I did talk with my benefits covered policy and have an appointment for Thursday the 26th! Yay!

[CocoChanel]

Wow... Girl you got a lot of support from the forum and some really good advice! Good luck with everything.

[flea]

wow Girl, I missed all this over the past few days and have just been through the entire thread....my god we sound alike.

I went to a local GP to begin my 'improvement', and even though he's a nice fella and everything, he basically told me I was feeling sorry for myself because I don't cry myself to sleep every night. I was told to check a website (can't remember which one now), and read a ****ing pamphlet!

what I'm trying to say is good luck in your search for someone helpful. thinking positive is not like turning on a light switch, as some here may try to make it sound. trust me, I feel where you're coming from.

I wish you the very best, and would be extremely interested to find out what works for you.

[girl68]

Thank you Flea!

Well small update: my first session is Thursday, but I did decide to tell my partner. Darn, I wish I hadn't.

I told him I wanted to see a counsellor and naturally he asked why, what brought this one. I told him there isn't anything specific recently that had done this, but that it's been going on for a while. And that I'd tried to make it "no big deal". I thought I could make myself believe that. Turns out I can't. He was mad and hurt that I couldn't talk to him about this... I told him we had, many, many times and each time we settle it but I'm never okay with that. He is of the opinion that I should be talking to him *always* about these things, whereas I disagree completely. I've said a thousand times over how I feel, and he's said a thousand times over what it (porn, bachelor parties etc.) means. Yet we always disagree. That said I took a step alone, and he wasn't happy. But he did also say that he doesn't care what I do, so I'm still going to go.

Anyways I kind of wish I kept my "self help" to myself. It's not like I'm keeping dirty little secrets, I just don't think I have to share everything... And I won't be telling him when my sessions are or how many I'm going to do or what is said in them.

[doppelgaenger]

I told you.

You should have listened to me.

[girl68]

No, I'd rather make every mistake in the book than listen to you.

[Sonrisa]

Well small update: my first session is Thursday, but I did decide to tell my partner. Darn, I wish I hadn't.

Anyways I kind of wish I kept my "self help" to myself.

I told you.

You should have listened to me.

No, I'd rather make every mistake in the book than listen to you.

She is in total contradiction of everything. It's like "Help me!" and then a second later "Who said I needed any help?"

[girl68]

Oh please.

I ignore Dopey 'cause he trails my threads to make fun... Have I disregarded good advice and support here? Nope only yourself and Dopey's that's all.

Note the part you pick out in red, (as if I'm too blind to have known what I wrote). I wish I hadn't said anything to my partner, specifically.