Should I be upset about this or not?

[blackiesharley]

Cool do you think that you can work things out then or have you given up on her i take it you have not given up on her as you sound quite excited about her comming in to town sounds good i hope any way

I haven't given up on her. Everybody has good vibes about her, from my Mother to Clynn here on this board. She certainly has stood the test of time overall.

She has this very strange dynamic about her. She seems to always pop up when I need her. When I moved from Los Angeles (where I knew everybody) to the Gulf of Mexico where I knew no one and there she was suddenly.

When I had a huge fight with my family, she re-appeared out of nowhere and was there.

Yeah, she screwed up over Xmas but looking back, she was just trying to please everybody and ended up pleasing no one. She didn't mean it to turn out that way though. That was the week after she bought me a cell phone as a gift so we could stay in closer touch.

Now that I've had this newer relationship blow up in my face, she pops up again. It's like she knows somehow, like an angel. Which happens to be her name, Angele.

Weird, huh?

[Steven715]

I haven't given up on her. Everybody has good vibes about her, from my Mother to Clynn here on this board. She certainly has stood the test of time overall.

She has this very strange dynamic about her. She seems to always pop up when I need her. When I moved from Los Angeles (where I knew everybody) to the Gulf of Mexico where I knew no one and there she was suddenly.

When I had a huge fight with my family, she re-appeared out of nowhere and was there.

Yeah, she screwed up over Xmas but looking back, she was just trying to please everybody and ended up pleasing no one. She didn't mean it to turn out that way though. That was the week after she bought me a cell phone as a gift so we could stay in closer touch.

Now that I've had this newer relationship blow up in my face, she pops up again. It's like she knows somehow, like an angel. Which happens to be her name, Angele.

Weird, huh?

Fantastic news it sounds like whitch i never picked up before is that she is a good person at heart. You know it is funny how things are turning out with both of us although mine is nothing comparid to yours but seems like things are working out for both of us with any luck

[blackiesharley]

She has this very strange dynamic about her. She seems to always pop up when I need her. When I moved from Los Angeles (where I knew everybody) to the Gulf of Mexico where I knew no one and there she was suddenly.

Edited to add: Sitting here depressed and lonely on a Sunday afternoon, just turned the cell phone on and there was a message from her 'just calling to say hi, on the way to work, talk to you later.'

Damn that little girl is ALWAYS there when I need her. It's like she has ESP or something. It's been really weird that way for almost a year now.

If I had swallowed my pride and just gone to Xmas dinner (long story), we would probably be married by now. She was 50% wrong, I was 50% wrong, we both acted like children. When she comes over Monday I want to take just five minutes, talk to her about it and put it behind us.

I ain't throwing in the towel just yet and it seems like she isn't either. After all this time she was the one that contacted me. Maybe time can be a good thing.

[Steven715]

I ain't throwing in the towel just yet and it seems like she isn't either. After all this time she was the one that contacted me. Maybe time can be a good thing.

I agree with you there that she does not want to give up on you relationship just yet! I agree with you if all this messed things up at christmas and there are still wounds there then i would talk to her. It is ovioasley on your mind so it may be on hers i think it is if she is stalling so to speek! But it seems a very good that she is contacting you especially first time. What have you got to lose? you cant see to mutch of a problem with bringing that one up

[vashti]

If I had swallowed my pride and just gone to Xmas dinner (long story), we would probably be married by now. She was 50% wrong, I was 50% wrong, we both acted like children. When she comes over Monday I want to take just five minutes, talk to her about it and put it behind us.

I hate to say "I told you so", but I told you so. I wouldn't rehash this if I were you. I still think you overreacted.

[blackiesharley]

I hate to say "I told you so", but I told you so. I wouldn't rehash this if I were you. I still think you overreacted.

Yeah. Like I said, it wasn't malice or game playing on her part, it was just an error in judgement, especially given the context of the previous week. The cell phone, the 'M' word was mentioned (somewhat in jest) the 'how do like my new dress and shoes?, I wanted to look pretty for you,' the 'no, I'm driving, give me the car keys, I want to keep you around for awhile' after a night on the town, on and on and on.

We both screwed up Xmas but maybe you're right, don't rehash it, at least not the first thing when she walks through the door.

We'll see. Should be an interesting week. Then there's the New Orleans situation. Radio silence from her over the weekend, but then I haven't called her either. Very mixed emotions there. I do miss her. A lot. Wonder if she misses me and is waiting for me to call her and wondering why I haven't?

[clynn]

Somethings don't need to have a resolution (ie: the christmas incident). What they need is a door closed and not to be brought up again. Bury those bones! And don't let it become part of anything in the future. It can be like it didn't happen. Goodness knows, with anyone you're going to be with there are going to be problems and issues to overcome, you can't hold grudges! Especially on things like that - when there was only good intentions. Geeze.

(in fact, if she is able to forgive you in return......than you probably found someone who really understands you - what a gift).

(And moving 10 minutes from you? Nothing like convenience. I'm big on convenience).

Have a good visit with her!

[Steven715]

Hows things going balckie?

[blackiesharley]

Hows things going balckie?

Not good. Not good at all. If I went into all the details both on New Orleans Gal and Xmas Girl it would take me all day, but in a nutshell:

New Orleans Gal: There's a glimmer of hope, although I'm not holding my breath. At LEAST we can communicate to a degree.

Xmas Girl: Dead issue. There was almost no communication between us when we were together and seeing her last week after six months, it's gotten worse.

Let's just suffice to say that I have to move on. Sometimes I think it would be easier just to meet someone new and fresh.

[Gigabitch]

That sounds like further complication....

You're not really into closure, are you? I can relate to that- I've been a romantic multi-tasker in the past, but it comes at a cost.

IMO, you should follow through on one of these. I think New Orleans girl is dangling out there- what are you going to do about that?

[blackiesharley]

That sounds like further complication....

You're not really into closure, are you? I can relate to that- I've been a romantic multi-tasker in the past, but it comes at a cost.

IMO, you should follow through on one of these. I think New Orleans girl is dangling out there- what are you going to do about that?

Very astute observation Gigabitch.

I do have closure on Xmas Girl 100%. Despite all her good qualities, after spending a day with her I was reminded all the reasons why it didn't work in the first place (lack of communication being number one) and it's gotten worse. I don't want to waste her time or mine, I found last week that 'it' just wasn't there anymore on my part and probably hers as well. Good girl overall though, just not the one for me.

New Orleans Gal is another story. Yes, she's dangling by a thread. I'm just giving her plenty of space and let her think and digest a bit. I always respond in a friendly manner to her calls and emails, but I have to let her come to me at this point. POSSIBLE drug problems aside, she indeed does have a ton of shit on her at the moment and any amount of pressure from me will just push her away.

It's possible that we got too hot and heavy too fast (both of our faults) and little time-out can't hurt.

Meanwhile, I'm just working on myself, all I can do...

[clynn]

Of course communication was bad with Christmas girl --- you haven't seen her in 6 months! What do you expect? Pick up where you left off? Aaaah, just my bias speaking. Sorry. Maybe you'll connect better if / when you get to see her more often when she is living 10 minutes from you.

Giga has interesting things to say on relationship multitasking. Good comment giga.

Yah, you could look for someone brand new. Or you could just try to make it work with someone you already know. It is gonna be complicated with anyone. It takes time to work out things with people, plain and simple. If the person is good and honest, that is a very strong start. (and of course, I know!) wink

[clynn]

whatsup?????????????????????????

[blackiesharley]

whatsup?????????????????????????

Well, let's see, what is up?

I was invited to NYC on business for two days but I had no one to take care of my elderly Mom. New Orleans Gal immediately said she would take off work, drive over and stay here. (She and Mom get along great) I said no though, that's a lot to ask of someone. If we were 'farther along' I might have said yes.

Then she suggested last week (it was totally her idea) that she and the twins drive over this Friday and share the holiday together and leave Tuesday night. To which I readily agreed. Beach, barbeque, fireworks, it sounds wonderful and I think those five days will be great for our relationship. So far, that's on schedule.

She IS trying. We had a long talk yesterday. She says she's scared of being hurt and that's why she pulled back. She said 'Mike, I treasure (is that the same as love?) you but we have to take things REALLY slow. It's just the way I am.' I understand, she's far from dumping me, in fact I sense she's in this for the long run. I think we just need more time together in person.

She met her ex-husband at 15. Married him at 18, had four kids and divorced seven years ago (She's 37) She said she'd had 3-4 mini-relationships in the last seven years and they all turned out badly. She's terrified (her words) that this will end the same so she's put walls up. Obviously if she didn't have strong feelings for me, she wouldn't be worried.

On a negative note, I am going to be keeping an eagle-eye out over the holiday for that POSSIBLE problem I mentioned eariler. (Cocaine) That will be the deal breaker if that problem actually exists.

Xmas Girl is history. Did I mention that she wanted me to help her move back in with her husband? 'Oh, we're (she and the husband) just friends.' Yeah right, that's why you asked me to only call on your cell, not at home....

[clynn]

I was gonna ask if Xmas girl had stopped living iwth her ex. Apparently, yes - but is moving back in with him. Yah, fair enough - doesn't sound like she is exactly available.

I'm happy to hear you and new orleans girl have a fun weekend planned. Yes, treasure is definitely a build up to love.

I think she is wise to not rush. Rushing can add unnecessary pressure and artificial situations that make things complicated.