Sorry, well, wierd. Im in love with my niece.

[nomas]

this stuff is hard to deal with..
that's why i stopped showing up for the crisis counselors meeting
and that's why I only have two male friends.

What is "that" reason? I guess is what I'm asking, as to the why you only have 2 male friends..

[artyemi]

Been there, done that, got help for it, don't want to go through it again.

[Prodigal]

So, okay. We're at a concensus that if this situation is true, then it is wrong for two reasons: a) it's incest, and b) he's 'legal', she's a 'minor'.

I guess I'm going to digress a bit here.. but I've been really curious. I'm assuming that you think this law is correct, that a legal and a minor having sex is unlawful.

I suppose that the reasoning comes in... that the minor does not 'know well enough', that he/she could be tempted into having sex without really knowing the consequences. But what if the age difference is not much? For example, an 18 year old and a 17 year old having sex? Why is that illegal.. as in, what is the reasoning behind that?

[nomas]

I suppose that the reasoning comes in... that the minor does not 'know well enough', that he/she could be tempted into having sex without really knowing the consequences. But what if the age difference is not much? For example, an 18 year old and a 17 year old having sex? Why is that illegal.. as in, what is the reasoning behind that?

Yeah, Prodigal, that's a whole different topic, but I like the direction you took this.

Now the topic becomes whether you agree with the law, or whether you think it makes sense. Obviously it's easy enough to see that it doesn't make much sense that if you're an 18 year old, plus one day and your girlfriend is 17 years old plus 363 days, and you have sex..by law you just committed statutory rape. You're only 4 days apart, but there you have it..the law is the law. Unfortunately as it is the law lends itself to interpretation, but to make laws they had to draw lines somewhere and they decided that 18 years old makes all the difference.

From a logical standpoint, I see how it's not about a number (your age) but about maturity. Honestly these days kids know about sex WAY early in their lives...I mean, even in my day. I was pretty fresh out of kindergarten when I picked up the word on the street about where babies really come from. So you are really not robbing a 14 year old of innocense. There are a lot of people who loose their virginities at that age, whether you think it's wrong or not.

I hate to be tied to what society decides is right or wrong, so I try to make my own rules as to why I refrain from romantic relationships with underaged girls. I think that the issue is responsibility. As an adult..the older you get, the more you should know about life, about a lot of things. I should know that if I try to have a relationship with a 14 year old girl, it probably won't last because we're not thinking on the same level. She'd bore me and I'd be way over her head..(I guess there could exist cases to where the 14 year old is extremely wise and mature beyond her years, but extremely unlikely). So for the older person, it's more of a pleasurable temporary thing. The adult should also realize that the 14 year old will probably let her imagination run wild and think you will end up married and hapily ever after, etc. etc. It's your responsibility as an adult to not feed into a younger person's illusions of a perfect world.

Now on the issue of incests. There's the birth defects issue. The fact that the chances are increased..regardless of how small the chanses are...that children will be born with defects should deter you from pursuing such a relationship with a relative. What if you decide you just won't have children? Well, you'll still be thought of as a weirdo by most of cultures...especially when there are so many fish in the sea. That's the biggest reason why you shouldn't bother with such head-ache inducing relationships. There are so many "legal" and "everyone will be okay with it" persons you can pursue that it just doesn't make sense to go after the problematic relationships.

So in the end I guess I AM just conforming to the norms of society.

Damn, you and the control you have over me, society!!

[shh!]

Why is that illegal.. as in, what is the reasoning behind that?

Helps to keep the daughters virgins longer. (haha)

Seriously, it is very rare for one to be arrested with such a small age gap. The last time I heard of this was a couple of years ago when a black boy (18) had sex with a white girl (16) in a southern state. The father of the girl was a known racist; he forced the cops to arrest the boy, and the girl then decided that she was "raped". Poor boy, I believe he was convicted.

[confusedsoul]

Please tell me you are not another 16 year old! Can you clue me in as to the average poster's age on this forum? Is this a high school forum? It's not that I dislike kids, it's only that I refrain from my normal amount of sarcasm when I am knowingly talking to kids...

Shhhhhhhhhhhhh.. dont tell anyone but am not 16 yr old kid..!! lol.. I love those days
well I was just having some fun, I suppose I was too tired to make any serious comment.. Well whats the actual prob with 16 yr olds anyway?? I mean yes most of the 16 yrs old over here might be immature but not all are.. and yeah there are quite few of us who are immature after all these yrs.. I just hate to categorize..

[shh!]

Actually, I was thinking your original post WAS a joke, as was my reponse about you being a 16 year old. I don't do the "LOL" thing, so I guess it wasn't clear I was joking in my post. Sorry for the misunderstanding!

I have no problem with 16 year olds at all, in fact, I like a number of them. However, I don't expect them to have the same kind of life experience or knowledge base that I would expect from an adult. What would be just plain stupid for an adult to say would likely be simple ignorance for a 16 year old and I reserve my sarcasm - for the most part - for stupid people and ones who I consider BAD, not naiive kids.

:-)

[confusedsoul]

well thats a noble way of thinking i suppose.. u should tell them this
whoa am feeling shooo good (nah not 'cause u DIDNT think i was 16 yr old, its the RAIN!!!)

[COAD]

ATLAST!!!
This topic is almost done.. No more talk about the original post

[ALovelyLady86]

In my opinion... since this is something thats happening between two consenting people... this shouldnt be considered rape so the only thing disgusting about it is the fact that hes screwing his neice hehehe
Believe it or not, as much as many of you dont want to believe this, LOTS of 14 year olds are already sexually active. I've seen enough on Oprah and enough posts in here of 14 year olds who are already fooling around and are wondering about sex. Its all over, and it cant be stopped. Evidently their parents just never taught them whats right.
Like I said in this case, these two people want to have sex, they want to be together. It isnt like hes screwing her at night while everyone is sleeping and holding a gun to her head. I cant consider that rape even though other people do. I just cant... sorry.

[confusedsoul]

ATLAST!!!
This topic is almost done.. No more talk about the original post

U R wrooooooooooooooooooooong!!!
lol we will have some discussion as long as............ well I wont say what

[COAD]

Believe it or not, as much as many of you dont want to believe this, LOTS of 14 year olds are already sexually active. I've seen enough on Oprah and enough posts in here of 14 year olds who are already fooling around and are wondering about sex.

OFCOURSE!
Ive been wondering about sex since I was 12 lol
I was just up for it and all

anyways

You do know they say, a girls intelligence is ahead 3 years of guys....

[artyemi]

Now the topic becomes whether you agree with the law, or whether you think it makes sense. Obviously it's easy enough to see that it doesn't make much sense that if you're an 18 year old, plus one day and your girlfriend is 17 years old plus 363 days, and you have sex..by law you just committed statutory rape. You're only 4 days apart, but there you have it..the law is the law. Unfortunately as it is the law lends itself to interpretation, but to make laws they had to draw lines somewhere and they decided that 18 years old makes all the difference.

Actually, according to the law, you haven't committed statutory rape if this is the situation. There has to be 2 years apart. So, if you were 18 and I was 15, that would be statutory rape. Well, at least that's what it is where I'm from.

[ALovelyLady86]

ConfusedSoul...I didnt respond to bring the topic back up... a few poists ago I was asked a question by someone.. and I wanted to answer it

[artyemi]

Prodigal-

I think those laws are in place for many reasons and understandably so. (other than shh!'s reasoning that it's to keep the daughters virgins longer lol)

Especially in adult/minor situation. It's like a teacher having sex with students, bosses having sex with people below them... These are the people in position of authority and they can easily take advantage of their position. Sure, kids think of sex at a younger age, but they are still young and disillusioned by a lot of things. You can't really prove that it's consensual or nonconsensual because the truth will be between the two of them. It just helps to make sure that minors will not be taken advantage of.

As for incest, maybe that's influenced by the Bible??