good idea or bad idea...send girl food @ work

[vashti]

Can't you call her and ask?

[Tired]

unfortunately not, when i asked her out i didn't ask for her #....2nd time i asked her i hadn't seen her for 3 weeks and was just excited to see her and was wanting to make sure the date was still on...it was.

Only time i kinda asked was after she backed out and i was telling her how we could go out as friends I just wanna talk to you more. I'd call you, we could just talk get to know each other better sort of thing. Her response was i'm uncomfortable with the age difference to the bulk of that conversation. I didn't directly ask for her #, but in a round about way i asked and she did not give.

I was more concerned and excited about having the dinner date.

I thought of putting my # in the note but figured it'd be corny so I didn't...i maybe should have

what i was leaning towards doing after the pizza thing was just giving her my #, tleling her i'm not asking her to call but giving her the option, she knows i wanna hear from her, just call me when you're ready.

Now, even if she did go out with me....i'd tell her we need to just talk on the phone a little bit first cause clearly shes suspect or nervous about something.

Thats why i tried to retreat from the date to just talking on the phone but she put her wall up for a while

[vashti]

Age difference? That was probably very relevant info. How old are each of you?

[Tired]

shes older then i am, lol

[Tired]

i'll say shes in her 30's, i'm in my 20's....we're both single with no kids and never been married.

[vashti]

How many years are there between you?

[Tired]

i p.m.'d you

[Tired]

saw her tonight at work....

walked up and asked her if anything out of the norm has happened lately....she said she got a pizza friday and i just smiled. She asked me if i sent the pizza, like she figured it out right then, lol.

She told me she thought it might've been me but she figured I wouldn't do it because she works like an hour away from where I stay. So I believe she was a little surprised and thats why she didn't mention it on Friday.

Turns out the pizza guys gave her the receipt *shakes head*

She seemed very happy to find out it was me that did it, she thanked me multiple times, after she was done with her work she stuck around and chatted with me a little while. Whatever little tension that was between us was completely gone, she was smiling the WHOLE time, which kept me smiling

All in all, I think it was a good idea and turned out good, I think she liked it. I'm glad I did it, even though i wasn't sure at the time I did it. I didn't think about it, I just went for it which is highly unlike me, but I took another chance which I'm doing A LOT when it comes to her.

I'm gonna let this play out a few days, I didn't get a chance to really ask her how it all played out, how the co-workers acted, if everyone snatched all her food, if the pizza guys did things right....I'd like to know how the whole thing played out.

Then after a few days I think i'm gonna ease back into the whole date, phone, communication type conversations. Try and get her to hopefully open up about things, the age difference, the distance between where we live, the working relationship, etc..

[Mish]

Good work Tired, I'm glad it worked out well for you

Easing back thing sounds good. Don't hesitate to ask her out to grab something to eat at some point in time just to take the conversation somewhere else.

[FoxyLaydee]

Hey Tired! Glad it went well and there's more tension between you both...

[DharmicLove]

I personally think it was great idea. Very creative, original. Any woman with good sense - and a good sense of humor - would like that.

[Tired]

where is vashti?!? I think she gave up on me because of the age difference

her mom is in town for spring break, hopefully she tells her about this and her mom puts in a "give him a chance" type thing for me. I hope shes working for me and not against me.

[vashti]

I'm sorry. I want to be encouraging because you are such a clever guy, and obviously will make a fine catch for some lucky girl, but I don't see any future with this one. The age difference is too significant.

Can you be satisfied with a fling? If so, I think it is fine to pursue this. Otherwise, I'm inclined to think you are asking for a heart-shredding, and because you are adorable, I'd hate to see that. Isn't there anyone closer to your age you can pursue? Have you done much dating in general?

[Tired]

I'm sorry. I want to be encouraging because you are such a clever guy, and obviously will make a fine catch for some lucky girl, but I don't see any future with this one. The age difference is too significant.

Can you be satisfied with a fling? If so, I think it is fine to pursue this. Otherwise, I'm inclined to think you are asking for a heart-shredding, and because you are adorable, I'd hate to see that. Isn't there anyone closer to your age you can pursue? Have you done much dating in general?

I've been in 3 long relationships. One really really long one. Do i go out and "date-date"...not really, I generally develop friendships and get to know someone and it progresses from there.

Just like this one, we've known each other for 10 months to a year and after we got comfortable with each other is when I went for it after a while.

I'm not looking for a 23 year old, or a 38 year old...I just met someone I have tons in common with and I really like being around so I'm going for it.

The way it is, its like I know what I want, I'm pursuing what I want. I'm very picky.

Generally i've dated girls my age simply because I was in school up until 21 or so and I was only around girls my age really. I was seeing a girl that was 27 when i was 21, but we weren't bf/gf. She ended up engaged pretty much right when we "ended". It was to her college sweetheart i guess you would say, so i was just a fling to her.

I'm not satisfied having a fling with this one, shes just not like 38 year olds. I've coached baseball for years and most the moms are her age and i wouldn't never pursued any of them. But shes not a mom, shes never been married, she lives alone, shes athletic, very outdoors-y, isolated/shy, shes just different....I just feel like I'm with her when we're together and not like I'm with a 38 year old. IDK how to explain i guess, the age deal just isn't a big deal to me

I don't think it was at first for her but evidently she does have reservations about it or she wouldn't have retreated.

[Tired]

the way i see it, regardless of who you get involved with there are always gonna be hurdles to overcome. Age and the distance between us are two big hurdles we'd start out with. I think if you find someone that makes you happy, and you could see spending time with them being a great thing then you owe to yourself to try it.

You described it as socially unacceptable....which unfortunately appears to be true.....but gay relationships, interracial relationships are equally if not more so unacceptable and some of them work out.

I want her, idk if it'll work out, i know the odds are against us but at the same time I'm not leaving anything up for question. I'm gonna give her time and multiple opportunities, I'm gonna put the effort in so regardless of the outcome I can look back and know I did what I could and not have any regrets about it.