Difficulty of breaking off an engagement

[Only-virgins]

So....what? If you were engaged to some girl and another dude slept with her, you'd think he had NO fault in it whatsoever? You wouldn't want to 'talk' to him?

Nope, I would dump her for betraying me and go buy that guy a beer. What the **** am I gonna say? "Madda fuka you bang my girl yo Ima kik yo ass dawg...bring it bring it!" lol, she made me a promise...and she failed. He did what all guys do, enjoy sex.

You can live as a god while people taking advantages of you. If you dont do anything, make sure it's because you- yourself- feel suck if you do it .Expecting people to treat you the way you treat them is like expecting a rock to boom flowers. You're at their mercy

[Primo]

It does take two to play blue, but in this situation I would only be involved with one of them. So would I place any fault on the male half whatsoever? No I wouldn't. I hate the cliche of it, but people need to take ownership of their behavior and their lives. If the male was someone I knew, then it places a different dynamic on it, but the bottom line is that I'm the fool who placed my heart into this girls hands and she's the one who betrayed me, no excuses.

Revenge is sweet, so I don't think I'd buy the guy a Heineken like OV

But in this day and age when someone will call the police when another even talks to him in an intimidating tone, it's best served at the right time, in the right place. That's my advice anyway.

[Only-virgins]

So would I place any fault on the male half whatsoever? No I wouldn't. I hate the cliche of it, but people need to take ownership of their behavior and their lives.

Exactly. Simple logic really. I wouldn't even care to ask who it is. Makes no difference. I'm not going to live with someone hoping no one is attracted to them and is hitting on them because they will crack.

[bluesummer]

It's not like I don't get what you're saying, I understand the logic. But logic often gets thrown out when emotion is involved, and people are quick to discount that fact. Either that, or they just like to act like they take the logical, high road.

My ex cheated on me while we were married. He bore the brunt of my fury because HE was the one who broke his commitment. However, the little whore he was with knew he was married to me and wanted to prove she was 'better' than me somehow. She definitely wasn't blameless.

I never got a chance to talk to her, but I did talk to her friend on the phone while she was standing there. Told her that although he'd told her he'd left me and was only with her, he'd actually been sharing my bed the whole time (told ME he'd stopped seeing her). Have to admit it made me feel better to hear her bawl.

[Only-virgins]

It's not like I don't get what you're saying, I understand the logic. But logic often gets thrown out when emotion is involved, and people are quick to discount that fact.

Well I can control my emotions and govern my thoughts with logic. Some emotions are irrational and lead to some silly events. Like taking it out on some confused poor soul that did nothing but try to naturally get laid. So I knew she was engaged and didn't care, figured she would blow me off....oh well...looks like she has some explaining to do...however she went home and starting talking shit on me of course ...the logical thing for most women to do I guess. Now this guy is all in my face threatening me and I have to sometimes pretend I actually care. I regret the entire thing because it has been dragging on, he starting calling some of my friends even, and the for all that the sex wasn't even that great.

[Primo]

Have to admit it made me feel better to hear her bawl.

No question about it, crimes of passion are the most violent, deadly out there, it's a dangerous situation to place yourself in. But let's face it, finding out from some weak, pathetic soon to be ex with fake tears trailing down their cheeks is alot different than opening the bedroom door and seeing someone fu*k

Like OV said, no questions to ask, just get out of my life.

[IndiReloaded]

So, its okay to cheat or be a part of someone else's cheating but not to be cheated on?

I dislike people with double standards. Too close to having no standards. Untrustworthy, IMO.

[Only-virgins]

So, its okay to cheat

I never cheated on anyone and do not approve of such behavior. Being a part of a cheating scenario is NOT the same however. Many cases the person doesn't know. In my case I did but in my mind I was of no obligation to keep any promise to anyone. She was. I don't see the double standard specially since I wouldn't blame the individual who was with my cheating spouse if I was to place myself in his position.

[IndiReloaded]

I see. So, you would say that someone who hands someone a gun and then watches them rob/rape/murder someone doesn't have any responsibility in the matter?

Your ethics are wanting, young man.

[Primo]

So, its okay to cheat or be a part of someone else's cheating but not to be cheated on?

I dislike people with double standards. Too close to having no standards. Untrustworthy, IMO.

Why should OV take responsibility for their lives and decision making? Why should his obligation amongst the 3 individuals extend to anyone other than himself? He's not cheating anyone, he's quite simply having sex with a willing and single partner, hardly something to chastise one for.

One time a girl wanted to go out with me but she was seeing someone and though it was in a remote fashion, I knew him. I told her she absolutely had to end the relationship first no exceptions and she did. We dated for about 2 months and I broke up with her. First thing she said: Thanks alot for making me breakup with my boyfriend.

[Primo]

I see. So, you would say that someone who hands someone a gun and then watches them rob/rape/murder someone doesn't have any responsibility in the matter?

Interesting logic, you must be anti-abortion and anti-birth control too. Never been on the pill eh?

[IndiReloaded]

You'll have to explain the anti-abortion and pill analogies. How are they related to OVs situation?

I'm extremely liberal, Primo (LOL). What I value is consistency.

[Primo]

I'm simply branching off the analogy that you compared to OV's situation. If we don't let the person who takes ownership of the gun assume complete responsibility for his actions, that by somehow providing them with that instrument we abetted in their misuse of it, then why stop there? A majority of guns end up in the wrong hands, should we hold the manufacturers and dealers responsible when they're used in a crime too?

Let's vilify the abortion doctors who are terminating pregnancies, let's go after pharmacist's who are filling rx's for the pill. They're knowingly and willingly aiding in the destruction of or potential for human life, there's no two ways about it. Why should they be given a free moral pass outside of religion extremists? Why should they be abetting a morally degenerate female who isn't strong enough to keep her legs closed?

I would think if OV having sex with a single woman, though supposedly 'betrothed' is bordering on having no standards and lacking in ethics, that these other scenarios would bring them into question for you too.

I know you're politically liberal, Indi...the rest well....

[doppelgaenger]

My logic depends on the situation. If it were just some girlfriend, I would consider it a blessing, forget her and move on with my life. I've been cheated on before, it was relatively easy to move on from my 'losses', whatever those losses were, ha! On the other hand, I've been that guy who catches some girl's eye when she is in a relationship. There was one particular girl from my high school days who did this. She cheated on her boyfriend with me. I knew full well she was in a relationship, but I didn't care at the time. Her boyfriend found out and wanted to kick my ass, blah blah blah, but after he talked with me, we became good friends and he dumped the bitch.

I look back at that stuff, and it was only high school drama, you know, so you live you learn. I wouldn't have any part in cheating these days. If I were in a more committed relationship like I am now, I would probably go wigflip ballknockers if some infidelity was going on behind my back. Especially if I were engaged or married. I'd go mad!

[misombra]

oh come on you guys. there's no sense in arguing this. the whole thing blew up in ov's face. that's what happens when you get involved in shit like this. you lose. it doesn't matter who's at fault.