Why are nices guys unlucky in love?

[ForMadmenOnly]

Dude! Its not personal....Jeesh! Wakeup is trying to make a point by bringing to light your weaknesses. Im sure youre better at some things buts thats not the topic of conversation

Mate, which of the following lines doesn't seem personal to you?

1. You are a typical "nice" guy who in reality is not really nice at all because you are frustrated from being mistreated in your romantic pursuits..

2. It was apparent you had confidence issues before now, with this latest post it is even more apparent..

Yeap, not talking about me and not attacking me directly.

3. Good luck in your personal development

I guess sarcasm should not be taken personal.

4. "ForMadmanonly"

Calling me mad shouldn't be taken personal either.


Plus she made her point like 20 messages ago. No need to bloody continue it.

[surfhb]

Mate, which of the following lines doesn't seem personal to you?

1. You are a typical "nice" guy who in reality is not really nice at all because you are frustrated from being mistreated in your romantic pursuits..

2. It was apparent you had confidence issues before now, with this latest post it is even more apparent..

Yeap, not talking about me and not attacking me directly.

3. Good luck in your personal development

I guess sarcasm should not be taken personal.

4. "ForMadmanonly"

Calling me mad shouldn't be taken personal either.


Plus she made her point like 20 messages ago. No need to bloody continue it.

My god! Its a ****in internet forum for God Sakes! She's being harsh to prove a point. On top of that, all these points are true so buck up. We all come to a point where we need to make changes in our lives. Im pretty sure you know the changes you need. Do you disagree with Wakeups opinions?

[vampiress]

mabe you're going after skinny blondes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you know they are hard to get...........

[DannyH]

I think you need to apologize here. Even if you think that, you can't go ahead and say it out loud.

I have formed an opinion about you as well. And I can tell you it is not flattering but I am not stating it in public.

I appreciate your thoughts and arguments but you should keep the personal characterizations out of the way. Things like that can result in an inflammatory reply.

You talk like this its gonna leave an inflammatory reply. Acting like you do unintentionally pisses people off. This literally makes me want to grab you slap on some gloves and just go to work until you can defend yourself or end up a bloody mess. I seen insecure guys before but damn dude your right up there for taking the cake with the worst of them. Do you walk around life like that every aspect job, school, friends and family? Act like a decent human being and defend yourself from taking other people's crap including your women's. You don't need a guide book for that just common sense.

[MynameisJesus]

My god you are really nasty person, with serious psychological problems! You took EVERY word I voluntary said in this thread while asking for help, and hence making my self vulnerable, and used it against me to give your blows. Does the phrase "Kicking a dog when its down" ring any bells to you? Why do you hate so much? Why so much bile? Why are you trying so hard to hurt me? Really you cannot be sane.

Look. You are right. You are strong. You are amazing. And you always give excellent advices. You were not offending at all and everything was in my mind.

I am weak, I am pathetic, and have confidence issues and other many problems.

Are you happy now?

I kindly ask you to stop bothering me now. Feel free to reply to this post to show how superior you are and that you must have the last word and you must feed your EGO. I'll make you the favour of not replying to it anymore. But please stay out of my world after that.

No need to get personal for any of you. This is going nowhere

I know it is your goal to befriend everybody in life but you'll run into people with other beliefs.
Don't pi$$ yourself off while trying to get even.
It's a shame that this affects you. A forum full of people you never met or will meet.
Just leave it for what it is and take it with a smile

[oldskool83]

you guys gotta chill now. end of thread and lock this crap.

Whoever thinks or was told they are a nice guy just stop your "doing" all the time, you can be a nice person but just stop all the doing and nice things for people, people are not use to it plan and simple. How about thinking how it feels to the other person on the other end then you's might realize how thinking of nice things to do can be out of line more so then you've realized.

Be yourself also and watch other guys, you will have women who take more interest in you once ya just go independant which is another issue with the nice guy jazz, codependancy...read a book on it, trust me you'll learn a thing or to.

[Mathias]

My god you are really nasty person, with serious psychological problems! You took EVERY word I voluntary said in this thread while asking for help, and hence making my self vulnerable, and used it against me to give your blows. Does the phrase "Kicking a dog when its down" ring any bells to you? Why do you hate so much? Why so much bile? Why are you trying so hard to hurt me? Really you cannot be sane.

Look. You are right. You are strong. You are amazing. And you always give excellent advices. You were not offending at all and everything was in my mind.

I am weak, I am pathetic, and have confidence issues and other many problems.

Are you happy now?

I kindly ask you to stop bothering me now. Feel free to reply to this post to show how superior you are and that you must have the last word and you must feed your EGO. I'll make you the favour of not replying to it anymore. But please stay out of my world after that.

To think, that wasn't even her being mean.

Anytime someone tells you something you don't want to hear, you throw a tantrum and yell at them. That's not being "nice". That's being weak and insecure.

[The Gent]

ForMadDudesOnly, Dude there's a difference between being 'nice' & being a 'pushover'. I shan't babble on & on 'cause it's been covered in great detail. But, I'm a 'nice' guy...I treat girls nice when we date, I buy them flowers etc, treat them with all the respect they deserve. However, I DO NOT let them walk all over me & take advantage. Once you let someone 'take take take' as you put it, they'll do it all the time. Perhaps not maliciously, but because you've more or less shown them that it's acceptable.

Being all apologetic & wallowing in self pity isn't attractive dude. Try loving yourself before you expect others to, or else expect to be reposting this exact same thread on a different forum a few years down the line.

Man up, Brobocop.

[UnknownXV]

Yeah, unfortunately we live in a world where humans do push each other. Dunno why we can't just chill out and get along, and not test each other constantly.. but that's the reality.

What if carpet is much better though? If everyone simply adapts instead of trying to change things, they will be horrible for the rest of eternity. That's not good. If things are bad now, we have to strive to change them. Just adapting to fit in is what cowards do.

It's a sad world where being genuinely good and giving for no reason besides it's good, is seen as a negative. It's a sad, sad world indeed.

[Soreloser]

I was a nice guy until my most recent ex (a couple of years ago). Now, I don't feel bad about telling a horrible woman that she's a horrible woman. In fact, I take a certain measure of joy in it. I'm still single and in no hurry to change that.

Not only do I hate the problems that come with relationships, in general, but I hate what I become when I'm desparate to keep someone around that doesn't want to be there. I don't think that there's any reason why everybody has to have that fairltale wedding and white picket fence.

[Horseyguy]

I was a "nice guy" to my ex and when her dog was diagnosed with cancer I was so concerned about upsetting her about anything I ended up getting walked all over.

I didn't stand up for myself when I should have and she just kept on doing it and kept on getting away with it because frankly I was being as weak as piss. I realise now what she actually needed from me was to be strong not "nice"

We went out for a drink on Friday and she got drunk and abused the crap out of me just because we ended up running late so I made her get out of my car and catch the train home. She was being a real bitch and in the past I would have just taken it and made excuses for her behaviour but this time around I didn't and it totally shocked her. She sent me a text saying I had scared her by shouting at her and leaving her in traffic and I was going to reply and apologise because I was feeling guilty (as Mr Nice Guy would have) but instead I just replied with "Suck it up Princess, you deserved it, and don;t contact me again unless it is to apologise)

I feel heaps better for doing that. If I had have responded with an apology I'd be feeling like crap now because it wasn't my fault and I'd only have been doing it to try and make her feel better about me and really after what she did I don't give a stuff how she feels about me.

She will be angry about it for a while, maybe a week or two but she knows she did wrong and I reckon she will look back and actually respect me more for having the balls to do it than she would have if I just took it and apologised when she was the one in the wrong.

Alternatively of course she might just think I was a total wanker for doing it and I'll never hear from her again but really I don't care if I don't. I'm just happy I stood up for myself and told her to get the **** out of my car

[pisces25]

My ex is an extremely nice guy and I would take offense if someone said he was unlucky in love as we had a great relationship and loved each other very much. It just didn't work.

What made him nice? He did all the gentlemanly things (hold door open, pull out chair etc) plus he was very kind to me and my friends and family. He wouldn't hurt a fly.

Can't wait to meet someone with the same qualities.

[Wakeup]

Pisces what you describe is being nice. It doesn't make him the dreaded "nice guy" there is a huge difference to what you describe and what this thread is about.

[DarkHelmet82]

I was a "nice guy" to my ex and when her dog was diagnosed with cancer I was so concerned about upsetting her about anything I ended up getting walked all over.

I didn't stand up for myself when I should have and she just kept on doing it and kept on getting away with it because frankly I was being as weak as piss. I realise now what she actually needed from me was to be strong not "nice"

We went out for a drink on Friday and she got drunk and abused the crap out of me just because we ended up running late so I made her get out of my car and catch the train home. She was being a real bitch and in the past I would have just taken it and made excuses for her behaviour but this time around I didn't and it totally shocked her. She sent me a text saying I had scared her by shouting at her and leaving her in traffic and I was going to reply and apologise because I was feeling guilty (as Mr Nice Guy would have) but instead I just replied with "Suck it up Princess, you deserved it, and don;t contact me again unless it is to apologise)

I feel heaps better for doing that. If I had have responded with an apology I'd be feeling like crap now because it wasn't my fault and I'd only have been doing it to try and make her feel better about me and really after what she did I don't give a stuff how she feels about me.

She will be angry about it for a while, maybe a week or two but she knows she did wrong and I reckon she will look back and actually respect me more for having the balls to do it than she would have if I just took it and apologised when she was the one in the wrong.

Alternatively of course she might just think I was a total wanker for doing it and I'll never hear from her again but really I don't care if I don't. I'm just happy I stood up for myself and told her to get the **** out of my car

I dont think you were wrong.. but I dont think you apologizing is wrong either. I stood up for myself but then realized I was being a total douche, being obsessive, and a nutjob. I actually just apologized a little while ago and she said she hopes we can be on good terms. Im happier doing things that way than going around life having someone never wanting to talk to me again. This way at least i can move on with good terms instead of 'burning bridges.' As they say "treat others the way you want to be treated." And thats what I did and will always do!

[Wakeup]

I dont think you were wrong.. but I dont think you apologizing is wrong either. I stood up for myself but then realized I was being a total douche, being obsessive, and a nutjob. I actually just apologized a little while ago and she said she hopes we can be on good terms. Im happier doing things that way than going around life having someone never wanting to talk to me again. This way at least i can move on with good terms instead of 'burning bridges.' As they say "treat others the way you want to be treated." And thats what I did and will always do!

Apologize for what? He didn't do anything wrong. Men who apologize when they haven't done anything wrong are being wrong by apologizing. It would be nice if she actually had apologized for her princess bullshit like behaviour and then he said he was sorry that she allowed herself to get that upset and that she could feel free to communicate her anxiety in the future. The same thing goes for woman who have done nothing wrong and apologize to men who have been assholes
to them.


What you apologized for DH needed to be apologized for if you were actually being what you said you were being. Horse did none of those things.

BTW: Thank you to all the guys that said what I would have said but would have looked even more bitchy to Madmenonly for saying them. Cheers to you all.