My bf spends too much money on me!

[lahnnabell]

See, and that's just it. Seems like everyone should understand this.

Sounds like you've got a good guy now, though. Good for you.

He is a good guy. Definitely a little too spendy at times, but I think tonight is a good lesson in taking it easy when it comes to money. He splurged me a ton this weekend and now I'm trying to regulate a bit. Feels a bit awkward to do that, but I certainly never asked him for any of the gifts he gave me. Hopefully he'll be a bit wiser with how he spends his money now.

[Mathias]

He is a good guy. Definitely a little too spendy at times, but I think tonight is a good lesson in taking it easy when it comes to money. He splurged me a ton this weekend and now I'm trying to regulate a bit. Feels a bit awkward to do that, but I certainly never asked him for any of the gifts he gave me. Hopefully he'll be a bit wiser with how he spends his money now.

It's a little weird that you feel you have to regulate him. Is he normally out of control with his spending? Can he afford it?

That worries me a bit.

[HeartIsAching]

You don't really believe there is any gender equality at all, do you? Until men can give birth, gender equality is a fantasy.

Yeah, you're right. We should never have let you vote.

I'm kidding, of course.

[lahnnabell]

It's a little weird that you feel you have to regulate him. Is he normally out of control with his spending? Can he afford it?

That worries me a bit.

Typically he can afford it. But we did a ton of stuff in the last couple of days. We had a talk this morning though and he told me I don't have to worry about money. So, I'm gonna try and take it easy. I guess I'm so used to being with irresponsible little boys. I should give him more credit.

[Wakeup]

He is a good guy. Definitely a little too spendy at times, but I think tonight is a good lesson in taking it easy when it comes to money. He splurged me a ton this weekend and now I'm trying to regulate a bit. Feels a bit awkward to do that, but I certainly never asked him for any of the gifts he gave me. Hopefully he'll be a bit wiser with how he spends his money now.

So, in otherwords your "complaint" is very similar to the Opening Posters. Too funny!

I'll add that that comment was not meant to be malicious in anyway. Just an observation.

[smackie9]

You cannot control someones spending, they have to deal with it on their own. If you keep harping on them about it, you are putting a strain on your relationship. Money is the root of arguments with couples, so it is wise to keep your accounts separate and do not share credit cards and never purchase big ticket items together ever. The less involved you are with there spending, the easier life will be. If they are a out of control spender, that should tell you they are unstable, irresponsible, and careless. If it gets that bad, get out of the relationship.

Basically since he is only your BF, you really have no say on his spending, ..... if you were married with a mortgage, and kids, that would be a different story.

[maxmax]

Just be aware and make sure that this extravagent spending is not to cover up other areas in which he might lack, or to 'cushion' future problems by saying 'but I'm always so generous and buy you x y z' ... I've seen this before.

[sadie_genie]

Different strokes for different folks. Some women like the traditional male of a provider and some men like to be one. Others don't like to play the traditional roles. So, some women don't like to cook or be the primary nurturer of her children and men of the same sort don't want to be the primary breadwinner, want to go dutch on dates, and want to take up the cooking and chores at home. I think there is just too much judging about personal preference and choices.

Of course, playing the role of the provider has nothing to do with frivolous spending. I would be turn off by a guy who spend more than he can afford too. If a guy doesn't have money for fancy restaurants, he should take her somewhere more affordable, not announce he can't pay for the bill after they have already finish the meal.

[IndiReloaded]

There's an old douche type trick that I've heard of guys doing....Guy meets girl on dating site, guy asks girl out to an expensive restaurant, they get to the restaurant, he orders expensive wine or cocktails and starts pounding them back. he drinks himself to oblivion and gets tossed out....there she is stuck having to pay the bill......he got himself a free night of drinking.

To the waiter (before my ex-date passes out, but within earshot): "Separate cheques, please. Also, I'll need a cab to come pick me up in 5 minutes, thanks."

But I'm a self-admitted bitch.

[FeelingCalledL]

This relationship is doomed. You better brake it now. It is clearly that you are not compatible.

He is trying to buy your love. He feels insecure about himself and tries to make you like him by being nice to you and buy you stuff. He is obviously very excited and he is investing too much in the relationship and I bet this is not only in regards to money.

Seeing that you don't sound too crazy in-love with him (you already hate the fact that he is spending so much money on you, and you already worry about his financial future) I would say you brake up with him now.

If you don't, when you will eventually do, because you will, he will feel betrayed and cheated.

[Sonrisa]

This relationship is doomed. You better brake it now. It is clearly that you are not compatible.

He is trying to buy your love. He feels insecure about himself and tries to make you like him by being nice to you and buy you stuff. He is obviously very excited and he is investing too much in the relationship and I bet this is not only in regards to money.

Seeing that you don't sound too crazy in-love with him (you already hate the fact that he is spending so much money on you, and you already worry about his financial future) I would say you brake up with him now.

If you don't, when you will eventually do, because you will, he will feel betrayed and cheated.

would you have the same advice if a female showered a guy with gifts?

[FeelingCalledL]

would you have the same advice if a female showered a guy with gifts?

Absolutely. I am not focusing on the gifts but on the "giving". Usually females do different type of giving, its emotional giving. They shower the men with love and affection and attention. And my opinion there as well is, if you are not sure that you feel the same way she shows she does, then break it off. It is unfair for her if you don't.

[Sonrisa]

Absolutely. I am not focusing on the gifts but on the "giving". Usually females do different type of giving, its emotional giving. They shower the men with love and affection and attention. And my opinion there as well is, if you are not sure that you feel the same way she shows she does, then break it off. It is unfair for her if you don't.

the question stands, so if a girl showers a guy with gifts then the relationship is doomed?

[FeelingCalledL]

the question stands, so if a girl showers a guy with gifts then the relationship is doomed?

If the guy for whatever reason doesn't want to give back then yes.

The relationship is not doomed because he showers her with gifts. It is doomed because it makes her feel uncomfortable.

If one is doing all the giving and the other doesn't feel comfortable about it and does not want to give back then there is a problem. A serious one.

[Sonrisa]

If the guy for whatever reason doesn't want to give back then yes.

The relationship is not doomed because he showers her with gifts. It is doomed because it makes her feel uncomfortable.

If one is doing all the giving and the other doesn't feel comfortable about it and does not want to give back then there is a problem. A serious one.

i am at a loss for words here. so she needs therapy because she is has issues with gifts?