You all need to be punched in your throats

[JadenMia]

And for Icognito..

Leave her ass, dont think another minute about it. Find a woman who will satisfy your needs and wants. I cant believe you have gone 7 years like this, thats not fair on you at all.
You know what is needed to be done.. Go get laid.

[bloodtippedrose]

Oh man if he ever came to terms with himself and left his woman, the first snatch he got to dive into would feel like freaking wonderland

[asdfg789]

Oh man if he ever came to terms with himself and left his woman, the first snatch he got to dive into would feel like freaking wonderland

Yes, I think it would be like the movie (was it American Pie ?) where the woman was on top when he ejaculates and she hits the ceiling driven by the fountain of cum !!

[bloodtippedrose]

That was from Scary Movie. On American pie she was barely touching him and he came XD

[rainydayznnight]

When I said man up...I meant as in sitting her down and having a discussion on your needs not being met and what can be done to change that. Ive met alot of men who claim to have talked about their problems with their spouses, yet shes going merrily about her business as if nothing is wrong. You need to sit down with her and explain what you feel is lacking in your relationship. As far as getting a girlfriend on the side, its an alternative to keep him in his marriage that isnt fulfilling to him sexually. Dan Savage says its not considered cheating if you aint getting it at home.

[Wakeup]

^^^ The only time its not cheating is if the other half agrees to the arrangement of supplementing. If she doesn't agree then he should replace her. No need to cheat in this day and age of easy, no fault divorce.

Couples counceling might be the order of the day here so there is a mediator to break up the tirade that may ensue.when he tells her that her lack of sexual expression is a problem. I suspect she'll have her own reasons why she's not interested.

[bulrush]

Igcognito, I was going to give you advice assuming you were single, but it seems you are married. So you must be talking about your wife.

Anyway, before I even go on a first date with a woman I talk about sex. I tell her straight up that sex is important to me and we will have sex within 2 weeks of our first date, or it's over. No BS, no games, just straight talk. I want to know if she is open-minded, and how high her sex drive is. My method weeds out all the fakers and posers so I don't waste my time with them. It has worked far better than I hoped. Since I started doing this, ALL my date are highly sexual and very open to my advances. Besides, I actually AM looking for a long-term relationship, not one-night stands.

She puts out, or its over. Pure and simple. It did surprise me that, most of the girls I end up dating are actually really nice, stable people. Not crazy nuts.

Being completely honest has more going for it than one might realize.

Anyway, have you tried talking to her? Does she even care about your needs? Is she open to you having a girlfriend? If not, you might consider divorce if things really aren't going to change. You deserve to have your basic needs met, just as women do.

[Incognito]

There's still hope Incognito, lots of women peak at 40 or even during menopause for that matter.

Has she gained a lot of weight or is there some reason that she may not be feeling sexy? Something that would keep her self-conscious about her look and therefore unable to get in to mood?

Yeah, she's gained weight over the last few years, but that doesn't matter. I say that for two reasons. One, she had no drive after we got married, even on our honeymoon. Two, I used to tell her how good she looked all the time and she'd literally brush off my compliments or counter with "no I'm not, you need to stop saying that". Eventually I did stop. She has seemed to always have been self conscious of her body and more so after the weight gain. She doesn't like to be nude, for me to see her nude, to see me nude, or for the lights to be on during the few times a year that we have sex. I used to try to figure it out, but I don't anymore.

She hates him and he hates her. Got nothin to do with her drive.

Yeah, there is a lot of animosity between us two, but yes lack of drive has A LOT to do with it. That lack of drive is probably 70% of what got us where we are. I tried to keep this off of me and mysituation Miso, but here we are because people asked more questions.

... Ouch ...

Yeah the subject of my marriage is a sore topic between Misombra and I. I try not to bring it up too often so as not to frustrate her.

[Incognito]

Oh man if he ever came to terms with himself and left his woman, the first snatch he got to dive into would feel like freaking wonderland

HAHAHAHA!!!!! Yeah you're absolutely right. If she cheats then I really do think that I wouldn't be able to help myself with one of a few women who seem interested in me. "Wonderland", LOL.

[rainydayznnight]

Some people just dont have any interest in sex. My Mom is an only child and she said for as long as she could remember, her parents have always had separate rooms. Have you children, if not, does she eventually want children? Maybe shes really not into men? Thats not unheard of, to live an entire life being with one gender only to realize later that you were attracted to the opposite gender. Your in a tough pickle...

[HeartIsAching]

I used to tell her how good she looked all the time and she'd literally brush off my compliments or counter with "no I'm not, you need to stop saying that". Eventually I did stop.

Yeah, there is a lot of animosity between us two, but yes lack of drive has A LOT to do with it.

So she constantly told you that she distrusted you, distrusted your judgement and called you a liar. Is she upset now that you don't say it anymore?

Holy crap... you're a better man than me, Charlie Brown.

[Incognito]

So she constantly told you that she distrusted you, distrusted your judgement and called you a liar. Is she upset now that you don't say it anymore?

Holy crap... you're a better man than me, Charlie Brown.

LOL @ the Charlie Brown quote, but yeah. I guess I had never really looked at it like that before. I know that some people will deny compliments so that you insist on them, making them a bit more flattering. I think we all do that from time to time, but it was more than that in her case. She wasn't trying to test the sincerity of my compliments or get me to insist on them, she simply didn't believe me.

[Sonrisa]

what if she is completely turned off by you? i don't believe in no drive or low drive, it's all about attraction

[HeartIsAching]

LOL @ the Charlie Brown quote, but yeah. I guess I had never really looked at it like that before. I know that some people will deny compliments so that you insist on them, making them a bit more flattering. I think we all do that from time to time, but it was more than that in her case. She wasn't trying to test the sincerity of my compliments or get me to insist on them, she simply didn't believe me.

That's exactly what it means when you compliment someone and they deny it.

[Incognito]

@ Sonrisa: I mean, hey, anything is possible. Don't forget though that her drive seemed to disappear right after we got married (i.e. before there was even a chance to experience marital problems). I can also appreciate if you don't [understand] low sex drive or a lack of sex drive because of your personal experiences, but both exist. Attraction isn't always sexual.