Very unhappy

[Sonrisa]

I say silent mistress is a great way out. Be a great dad, a great husband, but if you need to satisfy your sexual desires, then look somewhere else for it.

[girl68]

Can you still smell your BS with your head so far up your ass, girl? Any couple who can divorce like this^, can stay married like this and the kids are better off for it.

And yes, I do think that any human who hasn't experienced hardship should be pitied. We should all go out of our way to experience: war, divorce, poverty, rape... people who haven't experienced those things just seem somehow--really messed up--don't you think?

Ridiculous argument. Grow up, girl. A good parent protects their children from these things. Again, I am sorry your parents didn't, its evident in your half-baked opinions. I'd love for you to be the one telling Stu's kids all the reasons why its so much better their parents divorce.

Seems all the married women with children: myself, Giga, Vash are telling you to stay married, Stu. FWIW.

wowza!

F**k you and your pity party. I'm much better off with happy separate parents.

[IndiReloaded]

*sigh*

This thread is NOT about you, Girl. Its about Stu's family. Start your own thread if you have stuff to get out.

This is the third time I've posted this, and everyone seems to get it but you: Stu has said he doesn't want to split his family. He's just at the end of his rope and needs new ideas. Suggesting divorce doesn't exactly take a lot of imagination.

Kai - I completely agree, this woman stands to do huge psychological damage to these kids. She is clearly unreasonable. So, as Giga already pointed out, its all the more important he not abandon these kids. Splitting so that this woman is able to brainwash these kids w/o Stu's moderating influence is exactly the situation to avoid.

Stu's wife is not open to divorce. Stubborn as hell about sex. So, does anyone here really think this is a woman who is going to handle a contested divorce with "smiles & politeness"?

Stu, you need options that allow you to satisfy your needs while staying married. I hate to admit it, but in this case, if you can't see any progress after some counselling (beyond a few sessions, I mean) and you can't get her to agree that a mistress is okay, then you may have no choice but to take someone on the sly. Get fixed first. If your wife finds out, what is the worst thing she will do? Withhold sex? Divorce you?

Exactly.

If you insist on divorce, I really, really hope you take custody of those kids. Your wife will go nuts.

Good luck Stu. Focus on your kids.

[chump4u]

Stu, you need options that allow you to satisfy your needs while staying married. I hate to admit it, but in this case, if you can't see any progress after some counselling (beyond a few sessions, I mean) and you can't get her to agree that a mistress is okay, then you may have no choice but to take someone on the sly. Get fixed first. If your wife finds out, what is the worst thing she will do? Withhold sex? Divorce you?

Good luck Stu. Focus on your kids.

Bless you IndiReloaded, first for getting this runaway thread back on the tracks (and to the rest of you: Keep it there), and second, for summarizing the best advice that Stuart can get at this point.

[Gigabitch]

Untrue. He's not ABANDONING his kids- he's moving out. You can still be a good, loving father- perhaps a happier and better father than if he were forced to live under the same roof as the litte miss fridgid.

If you see your children often, take them to practices, pick them up, take them out, dicipline them, talk with them, attend their functions- that is everything but abandonning them.

I'm a product of a divorice and in know why did I feel "abadonned" my father was always there.

Clearly, your mother didn't hate your father's guts. Lucky you, both of your parents were reasonable people who could put the kids first. That's not always the case. In fact, that's rarely the case.

I, myself am divorced from my first husband and share custody of my daughter with him. She lives with him half of the time and with me and my husband the other half. She's fine. My brother, on the other hand, is going through a horrible divorce with someone who is trying to eviscerate him. Why? Because he left her. This is what I imagine Stuart's wife might do. Catholics don't see divorce as an option. She would rather be a widow.

I think leaving those kids with someone as angry as she is going to be is a rotten thing to do, and for what? So he can get laid? Hell, no. Yes, sex is important but it's not more important than those kids.

[misombra]

this is the crazy sister in law?

[Gigabitch]

Yup. Soon to be ex-sister in law.

She's accused him of abusing her and their daughter to try to take full custody. If you knew my brother, you'd laugh at what a ridiculous accusation that is. Won't work anyway. My niece will be evaluated by a professional and it will be clear that she's got problems with her mom, not her dad.

[misombra]

oh gawd. that is a fuked up situation.

anyway i agree with you about stuart. it strikes me as strange that he is able to very quickly move out. where's the die hardiness?

[Gigabitch]

I know he's affection-starved, but moving out is extreme.

His wife is hella bitchy, IMO.

[ecojeanne]

gosh, what a mess, sorry stu for your situation. I’m not married so I have no idea what you are going thru. It’s such a shame really that people rely so much on the church to tell them what’s right and wrong. Living the way the ‘church’ tell you isn’t always the ‘right’ way. People need to start separating the church from faith. They are two different things. People’s faith is being used to manipulate. The church came about by a group of people. ‘the church’ wasn;t created by God. The church= ordinary people decided what the rules were for other people in the name of God. I used to believe the church was Gods words. It’s not.

you should go to counselling. she's is not showing an ounce of respect for how you are feeling and losing you seems too easy. i think there must be more to her story than just religion and 'sticking' to the rules. i'm a bit suspicious of her reasons tbh

[Stuart2]

Again, thanks for all your such valued contributions. By way of an update to all my hugely valued friends on here, my kids have sensed something is wrong.
She has told them I am going before I was ready to do it myself tomorrow, and have had tears and sobs all evening.

I am seriously now contemplating if I have been too selfish. The best option for the majority of those involved is for me to accept the hand I have been dealt, and that I should face a life of celibacy while allowing to me to bind the loving home our kids have always had.

I am in such turmoil that words cannot describe here.... but am seriously tempted to just say tomorrow I am not going and to put the familys interests first as I have always tried to do. I just wish I could make sense of the situation I now find myself.... but take comfort in all the great friends I have found on here in the last week.

I will let you know how things are tomorrow if I have not bored you all silly already... and thanks again. A celibate life does not appeal..... but nor does a life knowing I have broken my precious little childrens hearts.

[IndiReloaded]

She has told them I am going before I was ready to do it myself tomorrow, and have had tears and sobs all evening.

Your wife is a ****ing bitch, Stu. Incredibly selfish.

There is no way this witch will give you a clean divorce. Please, please get some counselling. For YOUR sake, go alone. At least for now. You need more help than we can give you here.

Have you thought about slipping prozac into your wife's morning coffee?

[Gigabitch]

Cheat, Stu. I don't think I've ever told anyone this before, but I think you need to go out and find a lover. Make damned sure you don't get caught.

[Bumble_bee]

shit I thought she was making him leave?? dammit, i'm going to have to go through this again....

[Gigabitch]

No, she won't even give him a divorce. He's leaving because she won't put out and when he threatened to end it, she basically said, "Fine!" She sucks. Not literally, unfortunately.