Having something to focus on has been a big help for me through this. Yes, my children have been the biggest focus, and having other things to focus on has been important also. The thought of being able to do what I want when I want, getting my health back, being free to choose my own path. All these things have been a focus, but I am going to let you all in on a really big focus that I am pretty sure I haven't let you in on as yet.
As I have already told you lot, I have done some amazing things and been to some amazing places in my life, but I have also had a dream of an adventure so really big, huge in fact. Once I am away from here, I am going to Cycle Around The World!
It's true, you might think I am full of shi# but it's true. I have thought a lot about this, and for most of my life it has been an idea I have had that just hasn't left me. Sure, trekking through the Amazon was amazing, but this will be something else.
I have been looking at it like this, here I am suffering a relationship that has almost killed me, a relationship that if I had kept it going, would have lead me to nothing but more misery and sadness. But now I am free to do anything at all that I want, anything!
I have spoken with my daughters about this for a while, and they think it is amazing and are wanting to support me through all the way, the same goes for my family and friends, although some think I am crazy and will never survive it. My Daughters and I are taking a long and really great holiday together once the house has sold, and I am going to help them out with a few things for their futures, and then I am off. I will be returning regularly to see my daughters and family of course, and will be on skype and social media daily or when I can get access.
To have this on top of every other good thing to focus on, has been important to me. I have absolutely nothing to lose by working on this and planning this, only everything to gain. Even if it doesn't actually come off (but it will), I have had another great thing to focus on and to take my mind away from her.
I even wonder whether or not, if I hadn't gone through all that I have gone through these years with her, would I actually now be the position I am in where I can see a life long dream to reality. Makes you wonder doesn't it, because I am not one for really thinking "what will be will be" or "if it's meant to happen it will", but it makes you wonder.
Anyway, to show you this isn't something I have just come up with since yesterday, I set up a Google+ community months ago to talk about my wanting to do this. And I also have a website which I set up only recently. I'm not posting links in the post for it, but if you want to have a look or are interested, message me and I will give you the links.
I just wanted you lot to know that I have a plan that's all, a good plan, and I am become happier and stronger by the day, and you lot have played a big part in that. I am so glad I found this forum and had all the support from you all.
Thank you again my "Cyber Friends". Let me tell you this, don't be expecting too much in the way of negativity from me in future posts.