virgins?

[KaWaiiSkYe]

Both actually. They're both wrong. It'zZ wrong for the kid to be so 'afraid'. Some rent'zZ want all their kidzZ to be innocent. That might be why some kidzZ lie to em. So their rent'zZ won't worry. And it'zZ wrong that most rent'zZ would believe that their girl who'zZ just turned 25 is still a Virgin. They might know that she isn't. But they're just goin' to believe it anyway. I don't know why.. cos I ain't a Rent.. Not even close.. LoL..

[Iron__Metal]

Originally posted by sfalexi
Jesus Christ man! That's like the first NORMAL reply I've seen about the subject of sex in a LONG time! ****in awesome there's still normal people out there! You've like restored my faith in people.

Well, whenever it happens, hope it's good! In the meantime, don't think much of it!

'Chuck' Brown

PS - Seriously. Thanks for being one of the first normal people on the board in a LONG time.

Glad to do it lol, although I wouldn't mind it to happen, I dont care when/if it happens really...

[sfalexi]

How would you recognize your son's posting since everyone around signs with a nickname? I know I wouldn't be so stupid knowing I'm posting the same forum as my mom.... Just kidding, but kids they can do things on their parents back; first thing they get to learn before sex is how to hide it, I think. Maybe not your son, but I've known some not that open with their parents who even after they've moved out and been 20something still claimed virgins at home.

Wow. How messed up would it be if you unkowingly were giving sex advice to your own son or daughter via "The Forum". Something to think about . . . .

What is wrong -- kids being so afraid of parental education that they lie about not having sex until marriage

Yes kids are upset and scared. If my ex-girlfriend ever told her father what we've done, she'd be kicked out of the house (she's 27). She wasn't even allowed to go to the shore for the weekend with me until she told (lied to) her parents that she was there with some girlfriends and I was going along with some of my friends and that we'd just be 'hanging out' but not in the same hotel room.

or parents beings so dumb that they could believe their girl who would turn 25 next month is still a virgin?

Most of the time it's denial. Just hoping that your daughter is pure. It's also a HUGE double standard (the son can do whatever he wants, just not get a girl pregnant, and the daughter is sheltered and can't do anything). The double standard is wrong. I know my view on things is if my daughter was what I consider too young to handle sex responsibly, I won't want her doing it. But if she was a mature 16 year old girl I'd tell her my sex speech. "Use protection. If you get pregnant or an STD, don't expect me to help or feel sympathy cause I warned you. And don't you EVER, EVER let me catch you or catch any signs that you are having sex. So if you're doing it now, or are doing it in the future, I don't EVER want to see any clue that you are. So no you're boyfriend cannot go to your room at night while I'm here in the house. And you better keep a sensative ear for me coming down the stairs. But what I don't know, won't hurt me."

'Chuck' Brown

[squirrley]

I am NOT ignorant to the fact my kid is exploring his options here.

I know hes gotten hand jobs in the last month. I allow him to have playboys, But this came about a couple of months ago when he thought I wasnt listening he stated he had them...so I tell him go get them..and he does and we looked at them TOGETHER!

He didnt have any questions cause he already knew from our past conversations...

Anyway-I only said those things because i had responded to someones post a long time ago and congratsing this person for having sex at 14. didnt know the age at the time. And it forced me to look at my son. I nkow he talks and acts on his hormones...but Ive educated him and hopefully he will listen when the moment if the moment comes in the next couple of years.

MY SON AND I HAVE A VERY OPEN COMMUNICATION LINE AND THATS WHAT I WANTED SINCE HE COULD TALK

[sfalexi]

I don't know. I can understand wanting them to be able to talk to me when they need it, but I don't want to look through playboys/playgirls WITH my kid. It would just seem too awkward to me. On the flipside, I want them to be able to ask questions and ask for advice. I don't know what I'd do or how I'd handle it. Well, I guess I'll just cross that bridge when I get to it.

Alexi

[Sorcerer]

Originally posted by squirrley
He didnt have any questions cause he already knew from our past conversations...

Sounds like the joke of the mother taking her 16-yr.-old daughter for a serious conversation on sex. "Okay, mom, what do you want to know about it?"

[Sorcerer]

Originally posted by sfalexi
... I don't want to look through playboys/playgirls WITH my kid.

Would you pass your playboy/playgirl collection to your kid when the time comes? I think the answer is NO, but wouldn't you be surprise to find out there were TWO subscriptions on your address?

[freddurst130]

k you guys have lost me on this one.

[squirrley]

you guys dont have kids you dont know. I would rather him be up front about it then lie to me. He came to me and told me he had them. I asked to see-of course I have to have somewhat control on which magz he has, and they were Playboys. Not bad-from the 80's. It was funny.

You think now what the "I will never do this or say that when I have kids" is really gonna happen? HELL NO

Times change and quickly. You have to have an extremely open communication with your child if you want them to make the right decisions in their life, guidance.

I want my son when he grows up and is a man to look back on his childhood and know he had a great mom who was their for him, open, and honest about everything. I wont allow him on porn sites on the net, nor chatrooms of anykind, he gets enough of it from me or his friends.

Its crucial to have trust with your children. And for one will do what I can do keep that trust. I want him to be able to feel free to come to me over anything and everything. Guidance. Its called raising a son to be a man.

You think you wont do certain things as a parent and then when it does happen, everything you said you wouldnt do-you do. You learn as you go along. I am a single parent, his father is not around and never was-therefore-I have to be the dad as well. Which is what part I was playing for him that day. (playboys).

When you make less of a situation as that, he doesnt feel the need to go and try and get more from friends, its lost its value to have them. And he hasnt gotten anymore. Worked.

So you guys who think I am nuts for doing it...come back here when you have 15 year old kid and let me know how things are going in raising a teen! NOT ****ING EASY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sfalexi]

I don't think I said it was nuts. I just don't want to know all the details about their sexual life. I'd like to be able to help and give advice, but I don't want them telling me who they screwed the other night, I don't want to walk in the house and hear the bed shaking upstairs, etc.

Although you're right. I'm not a parent and WHO KNOWS what my thoughts will be like when the situation ACTUALLY arises. As for now though, I'd rather play the "ignorance is bliss" card.

Alexi

[Ironliftr3]

I think I would have died if I had looked at skin mags with my mother. Imagine the emabarassment when you get a hardon??

Besides, at 15 I was looking at Hustler.

Oh, thank god for the internet. All this porn, so little time!

[sfalexi]

Oh, thank god for the internet. All this porn, so little time!

My thoughts EXACTLY!

[rocknroll9]

well, sense I think I am the only 14 year old hear I will offer my expertice ont he matter. My parents know I look at porn, and beat the bishop, but they DEFFENETLY did not ask me to show my porn to them, thank god. That would be wierd. As for what they alow me to do... They make me keep my door open when I have a girl over. My dad told me stories about how he had to lose his verginity in a public park when he was bout my age, cause his parents wouldnt let him go out with girls. lol. He said he wanted the same embarrasment for me, and that he wasnt gonna make it easy for me to do stuff. He says, use protection. He makes sure I have a condom every time I go on a date, evin though I'm not gonna have sex proly for at least another year. Squirly.... I respect you for tryin to do all the stuff you do for your son. I'm sure its not easy raising him on your own, evin if it wasnt just you it would be hard. There are way to many bad parents who just dont give a shit. Most of my friends have them.

[Exodus]

I'm 17, Turning 18 in 4 weeks, and I'm a virgin. I've only had one girlfriend so I guess you could say I'm fairly inexperienced heh. I think in the past it has been self confidence and personality problems for me. I recenlty lost 40 lbs and I'm sitting at a nice 170 lbs and I'm about 6'. I think that has helped me a lot, but I still have issues with self confidence and being outgoing with people and dating. I'm actually not sure if I want to have sex right yet. I was faced with this question when I was with my ex, not that we were going to do it, but she had talked about it with me because I told her I was a virgin. I told her I didn't know if I was ready for it or not. I'm kinda reluctant to do it, but then again I always find myself thinking damn I wish I could get with somone I like and have sex and all that. I dunno, its a frustrating time being this age lol. It does kinda make you feel like, whats wrong with me, when you can't seem to find a girlfriend or are still a virgin etc. But anyways, I gotta jet. Thats my deal.

[KaWaiiSkYe]

It's good that you're waitin'.. Wait until you're already..