Why does this always happen to me

[Mish]

And who said I agreed Mish!

You did. You agreed that he needs to sit her down and talk to her (As well as beware that her behaviour maybe reoccuring)

[Mish]

I already did though!!!!

how many times do i need to sit down with ehr and talk. She told me shes going through alot of rough stuff, she will never go back to her ex bf, she wants to be with me, and she wants to work things out so that by the time I'm back home...things will be good. I really think its going to hurt our relationship if I keep pushing her around.

If you already did talk to her then find a moment to emphasize the issue that is bothering you (Her continuous contact with her ex) and how this can be a big negative factor in your relationship.

Perhaps your distance from her is a contributing factor to this issue as well. When are you going home? Perhaps when you go home, you should not maintain a physical distance like at the moment...

[Junsui]

Y'all are silly. I don't really have anything to add.

[Blazin Trav]

Women usually come with some sort of emotional baggage, there isn't too much you can do about it. I would let it go, but if she turns out to not be calling you back a lot, there's a problem. Women will often tell you "they've been busy doing ____" and unforchunately, you have reason to be worried when they say that. Just talking from previous experience.

[Junsui]

Women usually come with emotional baggage? Actually everyone usually comes with some sort of emotional baggage. We've all had experiences that shape our views on things.

[Tone]

The stuff i mentioned is NOT irrelevant. It doesn't matter how much time they spent together. What matters is that they are in a relationship and people shouldn't go into relationships if they yet haven't moved on and are still thinking about different scenarios and revisits of the past...

While this is true - people SHOULD go into relationships sure of themselves... I still think you are putting too many restraints on human emotion. You act like she broke up with him over it or somethin.. the girl flinched for what.. like a day? And afterwards she told her b/f it was mostly because she needed time to reflect on how much shit has changed in the past 6 months. And here you come, wanting him to sit her down and ask her if he can expect this to happen again??? Come on now. NO ONE can answer that question HONESTLY - you can lie or say you HOPE it doesn't... but the fact is we never know what might happen tomorrow or how we'll feel the next day.

Sure it's a noble thought to think we can control how we feel forever, and that every morning we're going to wake up madly, head over heels in love with our S/O but that's just NOT REALISTIC. Sure it works that ways in movies, but this is real life.

Again I see it as just MORE problems to come from bringing it back up, and all you're going to get is fake answers. "Of coures not - this will never happen - I love you!" 6 months later they break up (for whatever reason) and he throws this in her face sayin she lied to him, she said this, she promised, blah blah blah.

We agree to disagree, mish. I USE to think like you, too... but now a days I'm way more realistic and would much rather prepare for the worse, instead of leaving myself open to be blindsided by reality - that sometimes things just don't work out the way we want them or expect them to.

But this isn't even about "preparing for the worse" in this situation. It's about avoiding a useless arguement, which is what I think bringin it back up would do - cause more problems than solve anything. Like I originally said - it's the risk you take when you date people. You can put no guarantees on anything.

[Junsui]

Yep, no guarantees and I don't think he should sit her down and ask her if this will happen again. Just be aware and not in a dream world that things are perfect.

[Tone]

Mish, are you a robot.

From the future.

?

[MastaPDiddy]

maaaaan...i am so confused. she just doesnt seem to want to talk to me as much as before...yet at the same time shes responsive and when she leaves me voicemails they are all like "call me when you feel like it, i miss you, love you bye"

[Tone]

It happens in early relationships, guy.

"Honey moon" stage is over. When are you two goin to be able to be together? Are you going to go back to New Orleans?

[Rosebud]

Ok all this controversy in this thread is confusing Masta.....

What I was saying was not to talk to her about her ex.. but to ask her why she doesn't want to talk as much right now when she told him she needs his help. How can he help her without knowing what's going on. In any case though, Right now I'm saying whatever your confused over with her talk to her about. That's what relatiosnhips are all about....COMMUNICATION! so if something she's doing is bothering you mention it to her.. you don't ahve to get into a long discussion just share yoru feelings to her. if you don't want to do that then just stop analyzing everything so much and do little things for her.. you know send her a tect out of the blue to say I love you ro miss you...or send her a flower or something to let her know your thinking of her when she least expects it!

[Junsui]

Honeymoon period being over after 3 months and they aren't even in the same area? Short period. Just don't date anyone.

[MastaPDiddy]

It happens in early relationships, guy.

"Honey moon" stage is over. When are you two goin to be able to be together? Are you going to go back to New Orleans?

10 more days, im going to be there for about a month before returning to school.

[Tone]

No, I mean when can you live in the same state/city together again?

[MastaPDiddy]

No, I mean when can you live in the same state/city together again?

well i leave for school on febraury the 4th and come back may 4th....so after that we will be in the same city for good.

EDIT: ok your question is confusing me. So heres the info

10 more days until i see her...and that will last about a month and a half...then i leave for school and stay there for about 3 or 4 months....then i come back to new orleans and im there with her for good.