GF dropped bombshell last night

[BlackiesHD]

I must say, I've sat here for about 40mins reading through this whole thread and it's moved me. Not just how 2 couples have split up but re-united, but how each of them have helped each other through it.

I have total respect for both you guys and I hope all goes well.

I used to think the internet was for porn! Now I know differently...!

Miler I agree with you totally. You know, sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers going through the same thing you are than close friends. For example it's like if one has a drinking problem sure, you can talk to your best buddy about it but it's probably a better idea to go to an AA meeting for support.

Having said that, I'm truly happy for BrianK and it looks like there's a good chance things will work out. Sadly, mine won't. The 'problem' is severe I've learned and the distance factor, the lack of private time and other issues have put the final nail in the coffin.

I haven't talked to her for two weeks today. Sad, for awhile there I thought we had it all and we did, at least for a moment. I'm hurt and disappointed, but like the Beatles song ....'There will be an answer, let it be...'

All I can do.

PS: And BrianK, like Miler said, we did help each other. Sounds like you had better luck than I did but I'll still be here for you buddy.

[BrianK]

Brian, is there something you're not telling us? Like, for instance, you force her to make porn movies or you guys shoot up daily? What the hell is her family's problem with your relationship?

I wish I knew! we are just regular people with regular jobs both wanting to get on with our lives

lol @porn movies - now thats an idea

[BrianK]

PS: And BrianK, like Miler said, we did help each other. Sounds like you had better luck than I did but I'll still be here for you buddy.[/QUOTE]


I agree cheers for listening and that goes for everyone that has replied to my post, its a real shame that yours didn't work out. I will now make sure I visit this site to hopefully help other people !!

This forum has helped me a lot through the bad times

[BlackiesHD]

This forum has helped me a lot through the bad times

Yeah, me too.

That and getting my butt off the couch in front of the TV and going out to hang with friends, maybe enjoy a live band, and yes even meeting new women. That and throwing myself head first into a new business project. It all restores the self-esteam and self-worth. It was tough at first, I had to force myself to 'get back into life' but I saw it coming even though I didn't admit it to myself. It all happened so fast, the meeting, the instant relationship, the decline. I wanted us to be a shining star, not a comet that burns out. We ended up a comet.

I know there are happy times ahead though. Surrender is not an option. It's only one sweet smile from the right woman away. But even when that happens I'll always drop in here to see if I can help someone else, like people have helped me.

The way I was raised I guess LOL.

[BrianK]

Argggh I thought I'd drag this one out of the archives.... virtually 2 years to the day my (the same girlfriend) went on a hen night in Bournemouth and met a guy, I knew something had happened and had to drag it out of her. they exchanged mobile numbers and added on facebook etc. I know i shouldnt have but i have read every email that bloke has sent. Interestingly it seems the guy is not interested now making up excuses but telling her how wonderful her eyes are etc.
Shes now saying she wants to be single... but again she wants me to do things for her, like drive to her family in teh midlands.Fix a flat tyre on her bike etc
Again there is the issue of the mortgage i worked out, as we would have to sell up that we will be approx 15K in debt each due to recession. What a mess... thing is I still love her, and she hasn't actually cheated on me
sometimes life sucks

[Mr.Meat]

Kick the bitch to the curb with her stuff. Change the locks. Write her a generous settlement check. Avoid lawyers. Move on.

[Gigabitch]

Um, Brian... did your relation progress AT ALL since the last time you posted?

[BrianK]

Um, Brian... did your relation progress AT ALL since the last time you posted?

yes, things improved then the same thing happened again and now she wants to be back with me again

[Gigabitch]

Maybe she shouldn't go out with those friends any more.

[Junket]

Your girlfriend sucks.

[BrianK]

Your girlfriend sucks.

She has a lot of personal issues from when she was abused as a child unfortunetly

[Yggdrasil]

yes, things improved then the same thing happened again and now she wants to be back with me again

AKA: Nothing changed

She has a lot of personal issues from when she was abused as a child unfortunetly

AKA: Nothing changed

When is she actualy going to start taking care of her issues instead of breaking up, comming back, breaking up, comming back etc?

I suggest professional help here, for the both of you.

[BrianK]

[QUOTE=Yggdrasil;472158]AKA: Nothing changed



AKA: Nothing changed

When is she actualy going to start taking care of her issues instead of breaking up, comming back, breaking up, comming back etc?

I suggest professional help here, for the both of you.[/QUOTE]

She dont think she has a problem and I've asked if she wanted to go with me for counsilling. Today a really small thing happened and shes blown it out of context.. guess what (and she thinks i dont know) she txted the the bloke today. I'm at wits end i really am. She says she loves me etc

[Yggdrasil]

She dont think she has a problem and I've asked if she wanted to go with me for counsilling. Today a really small thing happened and shes blown it out of context.. guess what (and she thinks i dont know) she txted the the bloke today. I'm at wits end i really am. She says she loves me etc

What did I tell you? Nothing changed.

She's using you. When are you finally going to start seeing that?

BTW: of course she doesn't have any problems.. she's PERFECT (yeah right)....

[soulmatethought]

I was cringing reading about your dilemma. I was tempted to just say what others are saying and say dump her. But only you can really know the right course of action. I think something I wrote might help you. It refers to Master Traits. Someone wrote that she was using you. Well that is a general way of describing and approaching it. Knowing your own Master Traits and those of your prospective significant other can make all the difference in selecting the write match. But if you have already been with her for 5 years, you can still apply this technique to identify exactly who she is and who you are and if you have any hope of a future together. And it will allow you to identify what she is really up to. Here is an excerpt.

"There are moral Master Traits that span the spectrum from the absolute light side to total darkness. And they have sub traits, obviously. And their sub traits can often resemble each other. For example a Master Trait of integrity and selfless giving will have the sub traits of caring, complementing, smiling, saying nice things, and so on and so forth. But the Master Trait of predatory deception will also have the sub traits of smiling, saying nice things, caring, and so forth. But the dark sub traits will have the goal of deception, whereas the light side sub traits will have the genuine goal of healing and building up the recipient of their fruits.

So how can you tell them apart? By their fruits. If an apple tree is producing thorns, its not an apple tree. And you can examine the sub traits closely to see if they are genuine. A complement that is true is usually sincere. But a complement that is untruthful is likely originating from dark intentions. I mean if someone is trying to compete in an area where they are not qualified, and someone tells them that they are qualified, that they will squash the competition, that amounts to a lie perpetrated to gain short term favor with the complementee without regard for the damage that will be caused when they fall flat on their face at showtime. But the sub trait that warns the complementee that they are not ready and attempts to help them become qualified for the competition is more than likely sincere."

You can read the entire article at the site in my signature.

Hope this helps you reach a conclusion and take the riight action.