ITT: I Help You Get Girls

[Syph]

E. ??? Seal the deal? What do you mean?

Kiss them.

[Sanctuary]

Oh... and whats with girls rocking their hips/ass as they walk? I notice most girls around me DON'T do this noticeably... but this one girl im going after... my god she was literally hypnotizing me when she was walking infront of me at the beach.

So... is this a form of body language, or do some girls just do it while some dont?

Because this is the equivalent of when a guy stands up straighter, shoulders upright, and chest out when they wanna impress a girl.

This is just stuff we do to make us appear more appealing to the opposite sex.

That girl who's swaying her hips obviously knows how to work a room.

Every girl that knows how to do this, will do this when they're in a group setting with guys they wanna impress, some might not even realize it.

My only issue with these approaches (speaking as a female) is that I wouldn't be sure if it was an actual date you were asking me on, or just a friend to hang out with... it's a little too ambiguous. Of course, a bolder girl might just say "are you asking me on a date?"

This is why the guy needs to not be a dumbass and indicate that he's interested in some shape or form. If the girl still doesn't get it, she's a dumbass too lol.

[NeoSeminole]

Syph says:

"I have issues with timing in courtship and dating. Bear in mind I'm only 16. I've also never been in a relationship."

it's all good. Everyone has to start from somewhere. I didn't kiss a girl until I was 18. It's been all uphill since then.

"When is it okay to: a) get a number?"

there's no definitive answer to this question. It depends on the situation and how much rapport you have with the girl. You could get her number after talking to her for the first time or the fourth time. Knowing when to recognize an opportunity comes with experience.

"b) ask if she's single"

never ask a girl if she's single. It makes you look submissive and conveys too much interests. Instead, invite her to hang out. Her response will pretty much answer your question.

"c) ask her out?"

it's ideal to wait 3-5 days after you have gotten her number to ask her out. This saves you from looking desperate or not interested enough.

"d) go on a first date?"

same as above

"e) seal the deal?"

if you think she likes you, then go for it.

[NeoSeminole]

vashti says:

"My only issue with these approaches (speaking as a female) is that I wouldn't be sure if it was an actual date you were asking me on, or just a friend to hang out with... it's a little too ambiguous. Of course, a bolder girl might just say "are you asking me on a date?"

that's kind of the point. You don't want to reveal too much interests when asking a girl out. This is why I prefer to use a laid back approach such as the examples I provided. Not only does it communicate that your life doesn't revolve around her but it also gets her thinking about you (as you demonstrated). If she likes you, then she will agree to meet up and you can build chemistry on your date.

[Syph]

Neo,

Does the laid-back approach produce results, or is a proactive approach more likely to find a suitable partner? The laid back approach seems to rely a lot on the girl and chance.

Is it acceptable if your girlfriend lives between 5-10 miles away? Will that be too expensive/awkward? Even if you both go to the same college?

Regards,

Syph

[NeoSeminole]

Syph says:

"Does the laid-back approach produce results, or is a proactive approach more likely to find a suitable partner? The laid back approach seems to rely a lot on the girl and chance."

how does using a laid back approach when asking a girl out rely on chance? If she's interested in you, then she will say "yes" to spend time with you. Think about it: if a girl you like invited you to meet up, would you refuse?

"Is it acceptable if your girlfriend lives between 5-10 miles away? Will that be too expensive/awkward? Even if you both go to the same college?"

yes, it's perfectly fine if your girlfriend lives 5-10 miles away. Not sure what the big deal is unless you're one of those clingy types who needs to see your significant other every day.

[Syph]

how does using a laid back approach when asking a girl out rely on chance? If she's interested in you, then she will say "yes" to spend time with you. Think about it: if a girl you like invited you to meet up, would you refuse?

No, but that hardly happens. Surely, unless you are a born flirt, you can't pull this off. Teenage girls are really insecure, surely this approach would force them into taking the purely psychological risk of rejection.

I can, however, see a laid-back approach with a guy arranging the dates working. I'm just too naive to believe a girl will ever ask me to "hang out" unless I do it first.

Not sure what the big deal is unless you're one of those clingy types who needs to see your significant other every day.

Is that clingy? Okay.

By "hanging out" do you mean just with you and her?

[vashti]

vashti says:

"My only issue with these approaches (speaking as a female) is that I wouldn't be sure if it was an actual date you were asking me on, or just a friend to hang out with... it's a little too ambiguous. Of course, a bolder girl might just say "are you asking me on a date?"

that's kind of the point. You don't want to reveal too much interests when asking a girl out. This is why I prefer to use a laid back approach such as the examples I provided. Not only does it communicate that your life doesn't revolve around her but it also gets her thinking about you (as you demonstrated). If she likes you, then she will agree to meet up and you can build chemistry on your date.

Meh, I would just ask if it was a date.

Besides, doesn't this tactic also open you up to the possibility that she would consider it just a friendly hang-out, and not a date?

[NeoSeminole]

Syph says:

"No, but that hardly happens. Surely, unless you are a born flirt, you can't pull this off. Teenage girls are really insecure, surely this approach would force them into taking the purely psychological risk of rejection."

sorry, but this post tells me you don't have a clue what you're talking about. How do you figure a girl who likes you will say "no" if you invite her to hang out using a laid back approach? Also, explain how using the more submissive approach of asking her for permission to spend time with you is better.

"I can, however, see a laid-back approach with a guy arranging the dates working. I'm just too naive to believe a girl will ever ask me to "hang out" unless I do it first."

who said anything about waiting for the girl to ask you out?

"Is that clingy? Okay. By "hanging out" do you mean just with you and her?"

yes

[NeoSeminole]

vashti says:

"Meh, I would just ask if it was a date."

if you asked me this, then I would know you're interested. A girl won't agree to hang out with a guy whom she just met unless she likes something about him. If you weren't interested, then all you would have to do is say "no." Just to be funny, I would find a way to flip this around on you (e.g. "oh, you asking me out on a date?" in a cocky-funny way)

"Besides, doesn't this tactic also open you up to the possibility that she would consider it just a friendly hang-out, and not a date?"

no. Inviting a girl to hang out once won't change her perception of you. It's not like you said "hey buddy, you seem like one of the guys. Want to play video games together?"

[Syph]

sorry, but this post tells me you don't have a clue what you're talking about.

I'm sixteen, that's why the stupid questions end up getting typed. You are the authority on this.

How do you figure a girl who likes you will say "no" if you invite her to hang out using a laid back approach?

The intent and interest is missing on your part. I'm probably too proud to make a move on a girl who is expecting to "hang out" not "go out".

Maybe I've just convinced myself that I'm expecting to be rejected and therefore, feel that I'm not up to scratch.

who said anything about waiting for the girl to ask you out?

I didn't, I don't wait. I ask, and have so far failed due to them having prior attachments.

Yes, I ask permission. That way, you are not embarrassed if they don't turn up. I'm not motivated to spend money on transport if the girl won't turn up.

[DatAznBoy]

ok, im goin out with the girl i like and a group of friends, not too many ppl about 6-8, and we plan on hanging out at the mall, and then watching a movie, so wat should i do to hint that i like her, other than fllirt a bit more with her?

[Only-virgins]

Jeez what the hell. I get a phone number at a bar today and she tells me to call. So I do and no one picks up. Later when she calls back I am already in the car and I start talking stupid shit because I am drunk...of course women have PERFECT timing. She hung up on me naturally. Don't think it will work now.

[NeoSeminole]

DatAznBoy says:

"ok, im goin out with the girl i like and a group of friends, not too many ppl about 6-8, and we plan on hanging out at the mall, and then watching a movie, so wat should i do to hint that i like her, other than fllirt a bit more with her?"

use an indirect approach to make her notice you. I get the impression you're going to focus on her for most of the time you're with your friends. Instead, engage everyone in the group. Be confident, outgoing, and fun. Girls will naturally be more drawn to you. It's okay to flirt a little here and there. Make sure you sit next to the girl you like in the theater. The proximity of the seats will get her comfortable with being close to you, and you can always use the 'no talking' policy as an excuse to get close enough to whisper something funny in her ear. Since the mall and a movie are very innocent activities, I would hold off on kissing her until a date with just the both of you.

[NeoSeminole]

Only-virgins says:

"Jeez what the hell. I get a phone number at a bar today and she tells me to call. So I do and no one picks up. Later when she calls back I am already in the car and I start talking stupid shit because I am drunk...of course women have PERFECT timing. She hung up on me naturally. Don't think it will work now."

this is why you txt a girl you just met. It lets you gather your thoughts before you say them. Call a girl after you've known her for a little while.