Should your Husband have close Female friends

[Wakeup]

Just to clarify, Me and my partner have never set rules or boundaries. It is just something that we share the same view and opinion on. Thats all which makes us compatible.

That IS considered a mutually agreed to relationship boundary. Its a view you've discussed and you both agree to not cross.

[michelle23]

I know. I am just saying neither of us have ever laid down the law or wrote a list of rules or pointed the finger saying you cant do this or that. It seems as though that is the way AIC is taking it. It has been discussed briefly maybe in the past year or two as it came up in conversation. Its not a rule as such. We just share the same view on it and neither of us has ever crossed that line.

If he did cross it and I suspected he was getting too close-I would walk out the door as I believe if something like that happens-he is not strong enough for me and I need a man.

[IndiReloaded]

Indi,

If you need boundaries to keep your partner from cheating then you do not have full trust in them or married the wrong person. By setting boundaries you are telling your partner that you do not have faith in their ability to remain faithful.

You are mixing concepts. I don't *keep* my partner from anything. He is his own autonomous human being. I trust him. If he gives me reason not to, then I won't. You might want to think about the difference between 'trust' and 'trustworthy'. I trust him. He is trustworthy.

That said, we do have boundaries. He doesn't travel and sleep in a bed with a female coworker. I just got back from a conference with 2 male colleagues and had my own room. These are examples of mutually agreed upon boundaries.

Perhaps you need to define "boundary". IMO, boundaries in a relationship actually *promote* trust because they permit mutual comfort. You know what to expect from your partner in terms of behaviour and expectations.

Do you have children? I suspect not. Boundaries are shown to provide an increased amount of security to children b/c it helps them to understand and manage expectations. Adults really aren't that different.