Hey, I would consider myself to be a "nice" girl and I would just like to say always make sure the girl knows its a FWB. I liked this guy earlier this year; I asked him to hang out and he told me he would love to but he wasn't looking for a girlfriend at the moment. He kept sending me messages about hanging out...so we set up a day. We went out and then he asked me back to his place and we fooled around. I really thought this guy liked me and wasn't ready for a relationship. He would send me texts asking me how my week was and ask me to hang out just to go out for coffee. I thought we were casually seeing each other. Anyway, I had to go away for school for a few months and when I came back he started to ignore me. We went out again and he told me he didn't want to fool around anymore because he was messed up and didn't know what he wanted in life. He told me he wanted to be friends. I agreed to it and a month later I asked him to hang out and he was all over me. I told him I had feelings for him and he told me I never stood a chance with him. He told me he only ever wanted me physically and he couldn't understand why I thought he even liked me. So I was put in a FWB situation without even fully being aware of it. So please just make it clear to the other person...it really hurts to fall for someone who only wanted your body and nothing more.
Let's look at it from this angle then, the few gal pals I have I absolutely adore. Why on Earth would I want to hook them up with a guy that can not be friends with the opposite sex unless he is regularly getting his dick wet? I know sex is a major motivator and a bloody enjoyable part of being alive, but if my guy friends can't handle their own horniness that is there problem not mine, and I hate the implication that it is my problem because the guy finds me attractive and can't enjoy my company without that attraction becoming an issue.
On the other hand, if a genuinely nice guy friend was looking for a relationship with an awesome chick, yes I would happily set them up with a friend. I understand that it's not what you know, it's who you know and I choose not to get to know any guy that is going to try and dump his sexual issues at my door.
'People are never perfect but love can be. People waste time looking for the perfect lover rather than creating the perfect love' - Princess Leigh-Cheri from Still Life With Woodpecker.
Would you have still done what you were willing to do, if he had be honest with you from the beginning? I haven't had much luck with honesty as a form of respect toward fellow human beings. From my perspective, he must like something about you if he is willing to be a boy friend with benefits. It could simply be a lack of maturity.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
No I wouldnt have done it. I asked him why didn't he tell me the truth from the start and he didnt answer. He couldnt even admit that he played me. I see playing someone as telling them what they want to hear in order to get what you want from them... When I found out what had happened I never felt so horrible about myself before. Well he was trying to find out how far I would go, I was falling for him. He is such a jerk.
If I were to define a relationship, I would ask about a girl friend with benefits relationship. In my opinion, girl friends with benefits may actually like me and be compatible with me enough to want a friendship, regardless of what else we are doing. It isn't only about sex and money, even if sex and money can be involved. Did I mention that I am PayPal friendly; I can only hope a girl friend with benefits will still like me enough to spend some time with me even when I don't have enough money. In my opinion, a nice guy can never have too many girl friends with benefits.
Sorry for not subscribing to your line of reasoning. How many women are comfortable with honesty as a form of respect toward fellow human beings? Would any guy be able to get sex from most women simply by being honest and asking for some sex? Consider that a nice (and mostly honest) guy can achieve that goal, when he has enough money.
Rewarding lies with sex is also a form of dishonesty.
I know lots of girls I would say are friends with benefits.
Most of them are great at baking, pretty to look at, good company, and get me pretty neat gifts for my birthday.
Those are benefits enough surely?
-... --- --- -... .. . ...