And yet again...

[DoesntMatter]

Could you give her my number while you guys are on this "break"?

[IndiReloaded]

She sounds kinda sweet, Cain. But also kind of messed up. I've never really known girls who need to have someone hold their hand thru life, but I know they exist. She sounds like she might be one of these.

Do encourage her to do the counselling. Remember what I posted before about sleeping tigers. You don't want to be on her receiving end if/when she wakes up, I think.

[lesa]

Sometimes their energy pulls you down with them...and then they want to end it when you start acting like they used to.

I need as much emotional stability as possible to feel comfortable staying true to myself in a relationship. Chaos occurs without emotional stability and ends up just another example of unnecessary drama, IMO.

[Cain]

This is the first relationship she's had where it was actually stable. Past relationships were either abusive or just plain crap. I don't think she's used to it, honestly.

I'm not willing to give her up. She needs therapy and stability and I think with time, things will get better. I am starting to think that she's taking things a tad too far during this break. I think that she's just really emotional right now and it's causing her to be blinded. We've had no problems... not a single one... regarding her emotions in the last 10 months and I think that these problems she's having now are nowhere near what they were a year ago.

[Cain]

Could you give her my number while you guys are on this "break"?

So she can turn you down like every other woman?

[Cain]

Also, I've been thinking about keeping a journal every day that we're on this break in order to arrange my thoughts and feelings... I've had quite a few revelations about how I had an impact on her needing a break and I think it'll be beneficial to write them down.

After the break is over or months into it if it's still going on, she can even read the entries if she wants. I still think that if we end this break and I change some of the things I think contributed, we can get through it.

I hadn't gone to class this morning and she got on messenger and asked why I wasn't at class. I told her I was studying for a test that afternoon and she wished me good luck... told me what she was gonna do today.. and I told her to have a good day and that I loved her... she said it back again.

I'm not sure... I know that if she didn't love me or didn't think she did, she wouldn't say it. It's happened in the past... but do any of you think saying it is making things worse? Or could it be showing her that she still does love me and making it better?

[IndiReloaded]

Starting grad school is stressful, Cain. What area is she studying? Is she a nurse like you (I didn't think so, somehow).

As for saying you love someone, if you mean it, say it. It doesn't always get you what you want, but its never wrong, Cain.

[Cain]

Starting grad school is stressful, Cain. What area is she studying? Is she a nurse like you (I didn't think so, somehow).

As for saying you love someone, if you mean it, say it. It doesn't always get you what you want, but its never wrong, Cain.

She's studying Speech and Language Pathology. That's what she has her BS in but in order to be a practicing Speech Therapist she has to have a MS.

And yes, I know it's stressful. I think that's where one of the problems came from. I didn't need her to talk to me all the time, but I wasn't fond of only 5 or 10 minute conversations sometimes... but after this experience, I'd rather have only a 5-10 minute conversation because she didn't have time and be able to still be with her and see her.

I'm willing to make extraordinary compromises and be completely understanding to make this work. Even if we broke up, I'm not looking... I want this to work. I've never been in a relationship over three months. I've ALWAYS lost interest before the relationships even got started. I'd find something wrong with them and just toss them to the side. I've been with her for over a year.. almost a year and a half, and I've not once wanted to toss her to the side.

And yes, I do still love her. I just didn't want me saying it to make things worse. But, I just can't end conversations with her without saying it. If she hadn't said it back, I would have thought we were in a really bad position.

[Cain]

What do you think about the journal idea, Indi? Not just writing my thoughts down, but offering it to her to read later on.

[lesa]

I can't give advice on the "I love yous" since I have issues saying it often. I'm not the typical girl in that lol.

I still do not understand why she feels a need for a break and for unknown time. She could have easily said to give her space instead....just too much drama for me.

The journal is cool...I like it but I probably would not show her...especially since she is very fragile. Let her be. IMHO, you guys are still contacting each other too much. Was this a real break? Obviously not! Sounds like drama to me. She really has to work more on herself and you guys are becoming to dependent on each other for emotional support.

[Cain]

I can't give advice on the "I love yous" since I have issues saying it often. I'm not the typical girl in that lol.

I still do not understand why she feels a need for a break and for unknown time. She could have easily said to give her space instead....just too much drama for me.

The journal is cool...I like it but I probably would not show her...especially since she is very fragile. Let her be. IMHO, you guys are still contacting each other too much. Was this a real break? Obviously not! Sounds like drama to me. She really has to work more on herself and you guys are becoming to dependent on each other for emotional support.

Not everyone defines a break as talking once every few weeks. I think her definition of a break here was just not to talk as much and not to act like we did before.

Is it wrong that she can come to me if she's having emotional issues? I'm sorry, but I think that of all the people in the world, you should be able to go to the person you're in love with for emotional support.

And I do think that she meant space when she said break. But, we'll find out soon enough for sure.

[lesa]

Is it wrong that she can come to me if she's having emotional issues? I'm sorry, but I think that of all the people in the world, you should be able to go to the person you're in love with for emotional support.

Of course, it would not be a healthy relationship without emotional support. The keyword is dependence.

[Cain]

Of course, it would not be a healthy relationship without emotional support. The keyword is dependence.

I think she's proving here that she doesn't need me for emotional dependence. I've been fine since last night and all day. I think we'll make it so I'm just waiting it out.

[IndiReloaded]

But, I just can't end conversations with her without saying it. If she hadn't said it back, I would have thought we were in a really bad position.

You are still, what did Giga call it? Tweaking.

Anyway, lots say the words but the actions don't support them. Stop pushing her, Cain, or you'll get where you're headed, understand?

As for the journal writing, its fine to help you cope. Mbe you can show it to her one day. Or mbe you'll just file it away as a phase you went through.

[Citycat]

One thing I still don't understand - how come such a sober person like yourself chose to date someone with so much emotional baggage in the first place?