How old are you & how many people have you been with?

[michelle23]

Ya I think its important to be honest with each other too especially if you are sharing your life together. What is the point of having secrets and grey areas that your not allowed to discuss. If the person loves you-why would they judge you??

As for people saying people with smaller numbers don't know what they like or want. That could not be farther from the truth. A friend of mine has been with up to 20 men and only had her first orgasm about 6 months ago and does not know how to give herself one. I on the other hand who has only slept with two-orgasm very easily and love to try new things with my partner and explore.

I think it is biased to say "you don't know what your missing". I think I can have 100% better sex with someone I love, someone who knows my body very well and is my equal when it comes to sexual compatibility. Everyone is different. Some people love the newness etc. I love the familiar.

[Rowen]

Well, I can see your point about experience, Michelle, so I would have to say that it'd probably be like learning to drive. There are those who get behind the wheel of 6, 10, 15, etc etc- however many cars it takes to find what they like in driving and to figure out their style and skill. Meanwhile, there are those who only drove one or two cars and still found the same things through a number of experiences with that car. I'm not going to invade your personal life by asking the number of times you've made love with your partner, but I will say it's probably close to the numbers of different partners others have experienced. So, it balances itself out because each time, I would probably say that it's safe to assume things were done a teensy bit different to explore each other on a more intimate level. In the end, it's similar to having different experiences with others with the way that not everyone uses the same techniques and I'm sure you've had trial and error in your love life with your partner.

Would that make sense?

EDIT: (Forgot the first part, there) Honesty is nice, but I probably wouldn't express my number until I'm on a close level, such as love. I just find people who don't know others to be a bit quick in their thinking, so sometimes numbers can scare.

[michelle23]

Ya that totally makes sense

There is so much to explore and learn, different positions, different types of orgasms etc etc and I personally love sex. But I would not feel comfortable sleeping with someone I barely no or don't really trust. Id much rather explore all these things with one person and it does get better and better over time as long as your open with each other and both are willing to give and take.

Like everything else-communication is the key ingredient to a great sex life.

And yes there has been trial and error. As for the number of times lol. I wouldn't be able to give you an answer even if I tried to count but its a hell of a lot! haha.

[ashley89]

for me personally I don't regret any of my past experiences. they were all things I wanted to do at the time and were enjoyable in different ways. they taught me a lot about what I wanted and liked/disliked, and gave me the chance to explore with different people. I think it's important to do this when you're younger and single because I would never want to be that person who gets stuck in a relationship or marriage and then has regrets about not having seen what else was out there. this way when I finally do settle down with that one person I'll know it's definitely what I want and is the best out there. I think that's another big reason why people cheat, they get stuck in these relationships after being with only one person their whole life and then get to be older and think wtf? I don't wanna be that girl haha

[michelle23]

haha i no what you mean. i wont be that girl either tho. i know myself exceptionally well for my age and know exactly what i want. I would never cheat on anyone. If i ever find myself unhappy-ill just leave. My biggest fear is also being trapped in an unhappy relationship and that wont be me. Id have no problem severing the ties if I thought it was the right thing to do.

But I think i have already found a great match and i'm happy. If i hadnt met him when I did-my number might be a little higher but that does not bother me.

[Love'sReject]

Holy god. Looks like I REALLY, REALLY am missing out. People say I've got the clumsy awkwardness of a lost choir boy or something....I wonder if I had sex, would that change?

[michelle23]

hahaha i dont no LR. I doubt it.

[Love'sReject]

Well, it wouldn't hurt to find out through experience..which won't seem to happen in this lifetime*le sigh*

[michelle23]

only if you keep holding yourself back. It wont happen if you keep waiting for someone to magically appear in front of you. It helps if you get out there and actually try to meet someone.

[Rowen]

I agree with Michelle right there. LR, this Friday, I dare you to go to a bar or a club to talk to women. lol


Also, I think the same way with Ashley in the way that I don't regret the experiences I've had with guys sexually. Each one was a lot of fun and gave me a taste of what I liked and what I didn't like. In a way, it also challenged my comfort zone at times. The only part I really feel bad about is the view of society on a larger number of sexual partners. I know it sounds obsessive to think about, but I hate being pre-judged by people for a number and living out one or two fantasies I've had.

Nevertheless, my biggest sexual fantasy is to have a sexual experience with someone I'm in love with who loves me back.

[basilandthyme]

LR going out and chatting up girls won't work. Sure, he could get past the starting post. But as soon as she mentions liking - say - indie music or contemporary fiction, he'll insult her choices and she'll walk away.

[Love'sReject]

I did just have a pleasant interaction with a chick who looks like a facsimile of the love of my life, K.O. Granted, she was an employee at the school bookstore and HAD to respond to my inquiries accordingly but man, oh man, she was something...

[Love'sReject]

LR going out and chatting up girls won't work. Sure, he could get past the starting post. But as soon as she mentions liking - say - indie music or contemporary fiction, he'll insult her choices and she'll walk away.

Eh, not really. Not to be sexist but I expect girls to have lousy taste. If anything, having a girlfriend would kind of mellow me out as re: contemporary pop culture. Hell, I'd probably come to tolerate it or even like it because I'll mentally associate the shit today with "girlfriend" and what's more, I'd be introduced possibly to new friends who might know what's good.

[Rowen]

I did just have a pleasant interaction with a chick who looks like a facsimile of the love of my life, K.O. Granted, she was an employee at the school bookstore and HAD to respond to my inquiries accordingly but man, oh man, she was something...

I have one of those every time I put fuel in my car... :S There's one guy at the regular fuel station I go to that is smoking hot.

[Love'sReject]

Ah, but lucky for you that you know they'll usually be there. Never seen this smoking hot chick before and since she's a student likely then God knows if I'll see her again.