Help me please Husband wants divorce what should I do?

[Wakeup]

^^^ you're assuming he was a virgin when they got married and that the woman he brought to his house was only his 2nd sexual encounter. Unless I missed where she said he himself was a virgin.

[stev123]

The troll is strong in this one, claims to be an aerospace engineer. Spends the day making troll threads...phuck me dude you are pretty pathetic.

[michelle23]

OK, assuming he was a virgin. Is my logic wrong?

BTW just want your opinion, if he did sleep with a hooker, does that count as a sexual encounter? because she wasn't really a sexual partner, there was no love or a relationship. Simply 30 minute session of sex.

cheating is cheating-anything from passionate kissing, sexual contact to sexual intercourse is cheating. whether there is love or feelings involved or not it is still cheating. plus sexual cheating is far worse than emotional cheating in my book. some people believe emotional cheating is worse. everyone is different but no matter how much you try to justify it or dress it up or make excuses-the bottom line is he was unfaithful and he can never take the pain he caused her back. it will always be there between them like a bad smell bubbling under the surface until one day he snaps and leaves for good. thats if tbey stay together 99 times out of 100 thats what happens so it doesnt matter whether you understand it or not. thats the way it is jack

[michelle23]

Why is cheating not allowed? What makes it bad? He is not obstructing her free movement, he is not making contact with her. It has nothing to do with her.

because it hurts a lot of people, because you could catch a disease and give it to your partner or get someone else pregnant or she could get pregnant and you dont know whether your the dad or not, its disrespectful to your partner.

if you agree to have an open relationship where your both allowed to sleep with others and are both prepared to deal with any consequences together then it is fine

but most people would get jealous, possessive, feel very hurt, betrayed, angry, insecure etc

[michelle23]

never mind jack. just make sure you tell a potentially girlfriend your views on this topic as you surely understand that lying is wrong or pretending your faithful when your not

[TablesandChairs]

OP, I think he'll come around. Why? Because he won't find a doormat like you too easily, nor a virgin. He's also not going to get you locked up for harassment because he won't want to be a single dad; that might complicate his quest for virgin wife no. 2. Call his bluff; tell him to arrange the divorce. Everything you own will be split 50/50 plus he'll end up paying child-support in Australia unless he wants joint custody.

[michelle23]

I understand lying wrong, but I dont understand why you shouldn't do something wrong to pursue your objectives.

Just like vandalizing someones house is wrong, doesn't mean I'm not going to do it.

And no, she wont be finding out anything of my views. I only release information on a need to know basis. i.e she will only find out what is necessary for her learn in order for me to realize my objective.

good luck when your end up divorced 4 times then

[michelle23]

is autism similar to narcissism or is that just you? genuine question-no disrespect meant

[helpmeplease123]

OP, I think he'll come around. Why? Because he won't find a doormat like you too easily, nor a virgin. He's also not going to get you locked up for harassment because he won't want to be a single dad; that might complicate his quest for virgin wife no. 2. Call his bluff; tell him to arrange the divorce. Everything you own will be split 50/50 plus he'll end up paying child-support in Australia unless he wants joint custody.

I'm afraid not.

I got issued with a notice for eviction and a notice of sale, which means I have 30 days to vacate the property if he sells it, or I have 90 days to vacate his property regardless.

He also indicated he wants "nothing to do with that child" to me, after I contacted a lawyer.

The lawyer spoke with him and he told my lawyer that our daughter is not his. The lawyer asked if he was willing to provide a DNA sample for testing, he replied back saying he was not willing without probable cause that the child is his.
The lawyer said we need his DNA to prove the child is his, but without his DNA we have no grounds to force him to provide a DNA sample. I don't know how it works, but it's like we need evidence to say that its his child, forcing him to give DNA in order to get that evidence isn't sufficient grounds.

We cant take his DNA in any other way because it wont be admissible, the only other way is to wait for him to get convicted of another crime, in which case they would put this DNA on database. Then they can match it up that way.

Its been tough the past couple of days, I don't know where I should go now.

[basilandthyme]

Either you're making this up or you have a crap lawyer.

He needs to *prove* that he's not the father. If what you're telling us was true, guys who don't want to pay support would simply deny they are the father of the child - and we all know the courts don't work this way.

Here's a link to an Australian source for paternity testing laws http://www.legalaid.qld.gov.au/legalinformation/Relationships-and-children/Child-support-and-maintenance/Pages/Entitlement-to-child-support-and-paternity-testing.aspx

[helpmeplease123]

Either you're making this up or you have a crap lawyer.

He needs to *prove* that he's not the father. If what you're telling us was true, guys who don't want to pay support would simply deny they are the father of the child - and we all know the courts don't work this way.

Here's a link to an Australian source for paternity testing laws

This is not my state, however I noticed this part "If the Child Support Agency will not accept your application for child support because you do not have proof of paternity, you may need a declaration from a court under section 106A of the Child Support (Assessment) Act 1989 that you are entitled to child support."

I need to go to court with evidence that he is the father, then the court needs to order a DNA sample from him.

Either you're making this up or you have a crap lawyer.

He needs to *prove* that he's not the father. If what you're telling us was true, guys who don't want to pay support would simply deny they are the father of the child - and we all know the courts don't work this way.

Here's a link to an Australian source for paternity testing laws

What you said there is not right.

The proof of burdon is on me, he is assumed to be not the father until proven otherwise.

[Wakeup]

Is his name on the birth certificate as being the father?

[helpmeplease123]

Is his name on the birth certificate as being the father?

Yes, that is evidence that I can use for court.

But he will obviously say that there was no proof of paternity before his name was put on the birth certificate so its invalid and ask for it to be dismissed.

That's something for the courts.

[Wakeup]

Yes, that is evidence that I can use for court.

But he will obviously say that there was no proof of paternity before his name was put on the birth certificate so its invalid and ask for it to be dismissed.

That's something for the courts.

Does he not have to give permission to have himself named as the child's father? It would be pretty hard to explain why he would say he was, if he wasn't.


I can't help but think that you're misunderstanding your lawyer, or if you're not, then then the law is totally biased toward the male.

How can he kick you out of your own home with only 30 days notice. Even renters have more rights then you do if that's the case. This is the marital home. Here he could not sell it without getting your signature to do so, nor could he have you removed in 90 days. If you won't agree to sell then it would have to be court ordered and all that would take months to get a judgement.

[helpmeplease123]

Does he not have to give permission to have himself named as the child's father? It would be pretty hard to explain why he would say he was, if he wasn't.


I can't help but think that you're misunderstanding your lawyer, or if you're not, then then the law is totally biased toward the male.

How can he kick you out of your own home with only 30 days notice. Even renters have more rights then you do if that's the case. This is the marital home. Here he could not sell it without getting your signature to do so, nor could he have you removed in 90 days. If you won't agree to sell then it would have to be court ordered and all that would take months to get a judgement.

Yes he does, he can argue that in court.

My lawyer said it was like I'm making claim that he is the father, his disputing the claim, so i have the burden of proof. It works the other way too, If he wants child support from me, then he has to prove that I am the mother. But your right it is biased towards the male, because its much easier for him to prove that I'm the mother than it is for me to prove that he is the father.

It's not my home its his house, I have residency there. He can have me evicted in 90 days, that's how it is.