Sex on first date, think I lost her?

[onegooddeed]

So I started texting with a girl from Tindersix month ago. At the begning we had nothing, but after a few month we were texting day from morning to sleep, until we knew almost everything about eachother. Already then I felt that I really like this girl. So after six month we decided to meet at my place. She said that we know eachother so well (by texting and phonecalls for six month) that we can have a sleepover. Then it happend, we finally met after six month, and she was more beautiful then ever. We had a lot of fun that day until the night...

We got in bed and started making up, it all ended with sex. At the end of the sex I couldn't help it and "came" in her, after that everything changed. She got really mad and got in to my bathroom for 10 minutes. When she came out she said "is it okay if I sleep in the livingroom?". I said that I was sorry and that I really regret what happend but she was mad the whole night. I sudgested to buy her pills the next morning (tho she said she was on birth control), but she really didn't wanna talk to me.

Our plan was to hang out the next day, but she made sure to leave as early as possible and didn't want me to follow her to that station. After two hours I texted her, and she was still mad at me. She said that the only thing I wanted from her was sex, and that I am a nasty guy because of the "cum-part". I told her how sorry I was and that it was a misstake us having sex on the first date.

After that I continued to text her and tell her how much she ment for me. But she got mader and mader after each day. After trying for one week and the only response I got was how nasty I am and how she regret meeting me I gave up and stoped texting her.

I am not really sure what happend. Before we met I was sure that this girl was so into me, but then all of the suddenly she changed after one night? I really want her back, but I am afraid that I have lost her maybe because of my soft massages to her... Is there really nothing that I can do to get her back?

[TheEvilJester]

This might be one where the women of this message board could better comment. Because, on the surface, given all the facts you provided, I can understand why she'd be upset with you.... but not necessarily THAT upset. Did you two talk about it before? About what you wanted to do, how you wanted to do it, etc? Because maybe if she specifically told you not to do that and you did in the heat of the moment anyway, I could understand her reaction.

But, given the fact that she was on birth control.... and she apparently had no objection to you not using a condom in the first place, I am not sure I understand why she'd be THAT upset. If she didn't want that happening, I'm thinking she should have made it clear you needed to use a condom.

But, again, that is coming from a male perspective. Albeit, I'm NOT your typical male when it comes to sex stuff... but I'm still male all the same. So, maybe some of the women of the board can chime in if they feel comfortable doing so. Maybe they can explain why she may have been that upset.

As it is, the only things I'd personally suggest to you do to do are things you've already done. So, my personal suggestion at this point would just be to give her some time and space. At this point, given her strong reaction, my educated guess would be that she's done and there is nothing you can do to change that. If you give her some time, maybe she'll come around, forgive you, and give you another chance. But, for now I think I'd personally suggest you just proceed as though you assume she's not coming back.

It's a shame if it had to end like that, but if she reacted that strongly, it is unlikely she will change her mind. You'll just be wasting your time. I guess if you truly insist on giving it one more shot I'd still recommend giving her some time and space. Then, after a little while, try reaching out to her one last time, and if she still isn't willing to move past it that would be your answer. Personally, I wouldn't even recommend bothering with that. At this point I'd personally just recommend assuming it is over unless she reaches out to you. But you do have to do what you think is best for your own situation.

If it doesn't work out with her, believe me, you will find somebody else. Sometimes that can be hard to see in the moment, but you will. Best of luck to you either way.

[pcmaster]

Obviously she dont like that much so that she want kids from you or you DNA in her.

You made a mistake by playing by her flute and losing confidence. You should be confident always and a any situation. Anyway you lost your power to her and girls with higher confidence are not attracted to guys with lower confidence.

Its easy to say NOW but I think you should just have apologise one time at max and then let her be, dont touch her, let her be first to contact you.

Think your best bet to get her back is to dont get her back - that is dont try just go on with your life and dont pay her attention. As more importance you put on her as more she will push you away. Dont put her on pedestal or think shes better than you. Dont run after her or try to get her back in active way. Just let her be and dont try to understand her. Cause girls have their BS emotions and you dont have to be part of it. So just play it cool and dont let her emotions change the way you act.

[CantMoveOn]

Why didn't you put a freaking condom on since you both never touched in person before, seems weird to me that neither of you thought about a condom? as much her fault as yours because I would have made you put a condom on, who wants STD, BC don't stop that!

[smackie09]

Why didn't you put a freaking condom on since you both never touched in person before, seems weird to me that neither of you thought about a condom? as much her fault as yours because I would have made you put a condom on, who wants STD, BC don't stop that!

This^^^^ just to let you know, the pull out method doesn't work, your precum has sperm in it. I think you need to educate yourself about protected sex, before you mess up your life with an unwanted child or the herps.

[Hooo!]

If you don't use a condom you are not ready for a responsible relationship anyhow
So why bother trying to get her back

[onegooddeed]

We had talked about her being on birth control, and we even used to sextexting about doing it in her... Anyhow I don't understand how she could react that strongly after the sex. We both enjoyed the sex till the end. I am 100 % sure that she liked me more then I did before the incident. But obviously her heart changed after only that one night, that I Can't really understand how. It have been two weeks now and we haven't had any contact more then my sorry massages after the incident... But as you guys say I probably got too weak for her.

[dollhouse]

I'll agree with and echo what CantMoveOn and Smackie09 said... no condom ???? Not wise on either of your parts, not sure why she was so mad at you when she should have been mad at herself too on that mistake.

[pcmaster]

Wait, she was on BC and wasnt angry because there was no condom but angry because you ended in her. Maybe she have a boyfriend and she didnt wanted him to find your cum in her.

If shes on BC then it means she okay with unprotected sex but if you cum in her it shouldnt be a big deal since she cant get pregnant.

So maybe shes on BC because she do raw sex regulary. Otherwise if she changes partners often then she should use a condom not BC.

[Hooo!]

So because a random woman tells you she is on birth control you decide not to use a condom
And the you think you lose her because you had sex on the first date???

I say what is said before
You aren't responsible enough (yet) for a real relationship

[TheEvilJester]

Why didn't you put a freaking condom on since you both never touched in person before, seems weird to me that neither of you thought about a condom? as much her fault as yours because I would have made you put a condom on, who wants STD, BC don't stop that!

Thank you. I am glad some of our female members shared their thoughts too, because I wasn't sure if this was maybe one of those things I just couldn't understand because I'm a guy. Because that was exactly my reaction. How can she apparently be 100% okay with having sex without using a condom... and then flip out like that simply because you finish while still inside her? I mean... if she didn't insist upon a condom, I think anybody would naturally assume that to mean she's okay with whatever happens.

I, too, was thinking if she felt THIS strongly about it, she should have said something to you BEFORE. Otherwise that makes no sense. More importantly, though, I definitely agree with the others. First off, birth control pills are not 100% fool proof. They CAN fail. Secondly, they don't protect from any possible sexually transmitted infections or diseases. So, it is always better to err on the side of caution and use a condom anyway. At least until you have been together long enough to trust each other in that way and/or you've both been tested and have no such issues.

Wrap your whacker before you attack her. LOL! There are plenty of fun little funny phrases like that for it, but seriously...

Anyway, moral of this story is you are probably just better off forgetting her for now. With some time and space, maybe she'll reach back out to you. If not, just assume you are probably better off without her and find yourself some other gal. Good luck!