Help me out here ladies...

[pantherbuck]

Ok. A few weeks ago I posted about how I reconnected with an old friend/Crush from H.S after 15 yrs. We have traded emails quite regularly since then and while both of us are happily married and live in different parts of the country I debated whether or not to let her know my true feelings that I had for her back in H.S. With encouragement from others on this forum, I did just that and told her that while I valued our friendhsip more than anything, I did have pretty strong feelings for her but for several reasons never told her how I felt and that it has bothered me as the years have passed that I never did tell her. I really didn't know what kind of reposnse I would get from her, but I was expecting at least some sort of acknowledgement from her, however, in our emails since then, never has she mentioned or even addressed what I told her. Not that it matters, like I said we are both married to others, but now I am curious just from a woman's perspective, why do you think she didnt even acknowledge what I told her and what does this mean. I think if someone who I was really close to confessed to me that they had a crush on me in the past I would be flattered enough to at least say "thanks" So since I cannot get into the head of a woman, maybe you can help analyze all this for me.

[lesa]

I would only tell them about my past feelings for them if I wanted to let it out and have no more communication with them. Telling her and she expressing her feelings can lead to and is sort of an emotional affair...something I am sure you or her do not want to have. She probably did not respond because she wants to continue communicating without it leading to an emotional extramarital affair. Also, she may not have received the message or feel that such information should only be discussed in person are at least phone call and not written.

[twisted]

Sh'es probably she's afraid that she'll lead you on by acknowledging. Likely she thinks that since you brought it up, you're interested.

[Infie]

My dad did the same thing - when you tell someone you used to love them there's two answers, they didn't like you, in which case nothing happens or she did like you - and what happens then? You are two people that - used - to have a crush on each other and are obviously interested now otherwise you wouldn't have brought it up. Let me tell you - that was a very bad day.

Anyways apart from that, I know it's frustrating I been through this a fair few times and there are three possible answers that I can think of:

1. Doesn't want to associate with someone whos married and admits their feelings to someone esle (really what were you getting at there anyway? hoping she'd reciprocate? Then what?)
2. Doesn't like you in that way so now thinks it will 'taint' you're friendship.
3. DOES like you in that way and either has cheated before or is scared she will cheat, hence she wants to distance herself so not to get her marriage in trouble.

That or her husband read your email.

x

[vashti]

I think it was inappropriate to confess anything to her. What were you expecting from her, anyway? If I were her, I would have read such a confession as some sort of subtle ploy to see if I were interested in taking things further. (Unless you confessed this in front of her husband and were laughing at your silliness.)

[pantherbuck]

I think the laughing at my siliness was my intention here and not some attempt at fishing for something else. I think our emails have pretty much spelled out that we have full lives of our own. I just wanted to get a woman's perspective as to why there was no response. I certainly had no intent to cross any lines and I think she understood that in my email. I was very careful with how I worded it.

[vashti]

I think she believes you were fishing.

[TAVS]

I believe she is not interested and is hoping that if she ignores your comment it will go away.

[ifunanya]

It seems like she's really trying to avoid the question. Being that she is married, she probably doesn't wantto open up pandora's box...

[pantherbuck]

I think that she is ignoring it and hopes it will go away as well, which is fine, I only mentioned it once and am not going to push this at all. But I do not regret sending it, back when we were good friends this had kind of been hanging out there so I was glad to at least clear the air.

[misombra]

she's not trying to go there.