Too soft?

[MrSoftie]

My girlfriend said im too soft, becuase i do pretty much anything she asks without any resistance.She says she doesnt want me to be so soft and she doesnt want such nice guy. I really dont kno what to do.

[vashti]

I think what she means is that you have no firm boundaries in place, and people can easily take advantage of you (including her). If this is an accurate description of yourself, I agree that you have a problem.

However I believe if you change yourself, it will change the dynamics of your relationship which may result in its ending. After all, she chose to date you because on some level, she enjoys the power imbalance.

On the other hand, she is probably going to outgrow the need for being the boss all the time, and will eventually want to share power equally, which means the relationship (again) may fail.

I think you should work on building up some normal boundaries and quit taking stupid crap from people, even if it means the demise of your relationship. Very few people can tolerate overly soft guys for long.

PS - you do not need to post the same thread in three different spots. We all read them all, anyway.

[Gigabitch]

Tell her if she doesn't like you the way you are, she can take a hike.

There. That's not so soft, is it?

[anachronistic]

Tell her if she doesn't like you the way you are, she can take a hike.

There. That's not so soft, is it?

Yeah.

Where's your instincts, softie??? Where's your wants? Where's your needs? Don't be her mindless servant.

[Only-virgins]

My girlfriend said im too soft, becuase i do pretty much anything she asks without any resistance.She says she doesnt want me to be so soft and she doesnt want such nice guy. I really dont kno what to do.

Kick her in the face next time she asks you to do anything(except sex).

[Mish]

Tell her if she doesn't like you the way you are, she can take a hike.

There. That's not so soft, is it?

I like that

Very similar to what I said to my last ex (only I said it nicer)