I am not sure how to put this. Evey one has a thing, a certain thing that they are not good at! They suck at it no matter what, no matter how hard they try.
Guess what! For me that thing is relationships... I can do anything but a healthy, stable, relationship, i am a smart person, with many good qualities (or so they tell me) however i seem to fail every single time!
At some point you start doubting and asking yourself, how can i be so wrong? what did i miss? what am i doing wrong? i even start to doubt that there is "the one" out there waiting for me...
What if there is no one waiting for me? no soul partner? I had a couple of relationships most of them were a disaster, but every time i would say to myself "she was not the one, keep looking you will find her" but the next time is as bad as the previous one if not worst... I have now almost completely lost my faith, and i am on the verge of giving up... It is too much for me to handle, i am trying to hold back my emotions with willpower or raw logic thinking but its no use, i just get worst... I have love to give but no one to give it to... I don't expect any helpful suggestions even tho they are welcome, i just thought this is a good way to get it out and listen to what other people have to say...