help me figure her out or the situation!

[rmill001]

Ok, so be prepaired for a long read- in order to fully explain what is going I must start from the beginning (we where together 2 months still kinda are?)

Ok so I moved to CA from AZ. Met this girl on an online dating site- we talked for two weeks before we ever even met. I really began to like her alot, she was funny intelligent, good looking, and down to earth. So after we had been talking a week she told me that if I asked her to marry her she would say yes. (A little fast I know but I really liked her at this point, and I was looking for a long term relationship anyways. So I rolled with it. She also told me she loved me at about day 10. I ran with it- I began to question if I was in love with her- but knew it was to soon- however I could see myself falling for her in the future.

So we finally meet and go on our first date. She wanted to come over and cuddle, I said sure but we aren't going in the bedroom(wanted to take it slow) Well she said she wanted to go to the bedroom I followed and laid down. She then said it was uncomfortable to sleep in jeans, and took them off- everyone knows what happened next.

Things continue to go well, I cooked her dinner, we went to movies, we were enjoying each other very much. She began telling me I was the best she ever had etc, she continued to tell me she loved me etc.
Well things didnt work out for me in CA so I moved to TX which is where im originally from. She has family in Texas about an hour from where I moved, she called me and told me shes coming down. I said great come on down we can build a life and continue our relationship. She gets here and is almost HIGH to be with me in TX. Things go great for about 3 weeks.
Then all of a sudden she tells me she wants to go back to the dating stage and here is why. She just moved here, is drawing unemployment, and needed to get a job to support her and her 4 year old daughter, and she needed to focus on that but that we should slow down. I totally agreed and went with it.
Well five days later she ends it. She keeps telling me a part of her doesnt want to loose me, but she might move back to CA. I said ok do what you gotta do.
Well, long story short she is now sending all kinds of mixed messages. She used to call me "her cowboy: and she referred to me as cowboy tonight. We used to have this thing where she would say she was excited to see me, and I would reply Im more excited and she would say no she was more excited. I told her I would come hang out and I was looking forawrd to it, and she said she was looking forward to it more- which is what we used to say.
She also got super upset when I mentioned my EX(she knew me and my ex are best friends, and she never had a problem with us talking in the past, in fact I let her know every time I spoke to the ex out of respect)
Finally I think she lied to me about something. I told her yesterday we needed space, that I would contact her on the weekend and we could hang out then but until then we shouldnt talk due to all the emotions and feelings we still have for each other.
six hours later she texts me and tells me her phone is going to be shut off til saturday. She then called me and told me shes leaving saturday for CA. I asked if I could come see her friday. She said she wanted to see me today( this conversation took place yesterday) I should have said jut use your moms or brothers phone to contact me friday but went ahead and did it anyways. So now im thinking she just wanted to see me.

I get down there and she keeps looking at me like she used to. She tells me she still cares for me, and loves me very much but that she is lost. She proceeds to tell me she might not go back to CA ( which I knew she wasnt because her unemployment is 500 bucks and that is not enough to get your from TX to CA when you calculate gas hotels and food.) I then ask her if I could come see her this weekend before she goes and she said yes. So basically I dont know what to do- I really really care for this woman- she is smart funny compassionate and down to earth not to mention gorgeous. Please help me decipher what she is doing- its like she tells me to come closer but then pushes me away.
sorry for the long post.

[HeartIsAching]

Another troll?

[luvcoq]

A decent troll wouldnt waste his time typing all that pish.

[rmill001]

not a troll. I seriously dont know what I should do.

[basilandthyme]

Don't let her suck you into her drama. Tell her to come find you when she's finally sorted out her life. Tell her that if you're still available, you may consider trying again.

From reading these boards, it's becoming apparent that pushing a girl away will make her want you more ;-)

[HeartIsAching]

Don't let her suck you into her drama. Tell her to come find you when she's finally sorted out her life. Tell her that if you're still available, you may consider trying again.

From reading these boards, it's becoming apparent that pushing a girl away will make her want you more ;-)

Sometimes pushing away works, but IMNSHO it's game-playing that has no place in a serious relationship.

[rmill001]

Ok here is what I am thinking. Women, please tell me how this sounds. She's still calling me, calling me sweetie- her cowboy etc. I think im going to just ignore her. And if she is really interested she will let me know in one way or another. If she is not- then I won't hear from her and thats fine too.

Or, I could tell her I'm going to stop contacting her, and when she knows what she wants she can contact me.

Which would you reccomend.

[HeartIsAching]

Ok here is what I am thinking. Women, please tell me how this sounds. She's still calling me, calling me sweetie- her cowboy etc. I think im going to just ignore her. And if she is really interested she will let me know in one way or another. If she is not- then I won't hear from her and thats fine too.

Or, I could tell her I'm going to stop contacting her, and when she knows what she wants she can contact me.

Which would you reccomend.

I'm thinking that actual communication would be best. Tell her the latter.

[searock]

I also don't think you should ignore her. I agree with your second option too.

[basilandthyme]

Sometimes pushing away works, but IMNSHO it's game-playing that has no place in a serious relationship.

I'm not suggesting he pushes her away in order to make her keener - I'm suggesting he push her away so as to maintain his sanity in the face of her on/off hot/cold thing. Her behaviour has no place in a serious relationship and he needs to cut her off while she's doing it.

The fact that she may get keener if he does push her away is just a potential side effect.

[Cerby]

Or, I could tell her I'm going to stop contacting her, and when she knows what she wants she can contact me.

This is the advice I gave you on this same post in another forum, screw these multiposts.

[rmill001]

This is the advice I gave you on this same post in another forum, screw these multiposts.

You did tell me that- but I always try to get as many opinions as I can- nothing personal towards you.

so this is the newest
well, she sent me a text last night telling me she really missed me, then called me. She told me she did really miss me and wish I was with her, she was drunk. In all reality I think she was horny, because she proceeded to describe to me what she would do if I was there. I told her your drunk, call me when your sober then I will believe you. Well she did call me today, she confirmed that a part of her really did miss me, but she claims to not recall telling me to come down and see her. I dont know what to believe anymore, Im about done with this. It's driving me crazy! I try to tell her this, but then she sais "well maybe we shouldnt have anything to do with each other" which is not what I want! I want to be with her, but if I cant be with her I would at least like to be friends.
Any advice?

[searock]

We already gave you our advice. It's your choice to not follow it and still be in this situation. You shouldn't have answered the phone or her text.

Tell her that unless she makes up her mind about you, to stop contacting you because you won't reply. Then follow through with it.