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Thread: He's sending mixed signals - does he like me?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    1

    He's sending mixed signals - does he like me?

    Hey Guys,

    I'm new to this forum so please excuse me, if I do anything wrong.

    So there's this guy in my law class in preparation for my master's degree. We used to know each other only by acknowledging each other's existence but ever since a mutual friend's birthday party we got to know each other and became good friends.

    Now here’s the deal with this guy:
    As far as I can tell, he’s a genuinely polite guy. Almost old school – holding doors, always asking how I am, offering his arm, never rude …
    We share similar interests, like watching movies, literature, society, a similar taste in music – we even started sending each other e-mails with songs attached to them to introduce the other to some new music. We have some great conversations over mail and text. We were talking about the meaning of the music, about behavior differences in people, what our goals in life are – everything. Sometimes the mails were three pages long and we both made sure to reply as quickly as possible. One time he even sent me a short mail that he was at a friend’s to tell me he’d reply tomorrow. And if he didn’t answer my mails he’d at least reply to my texts on the same day.
    In addition to all that we started having very extended movie nights just the two of us, started a little study group (which we had to discontinue because of schedule difficulties), and hanging out before anyone of us would go on a little vacation. And every time we set up a meeting he made sure to tell me that he was “looking forward to it”.
    Again, he’s a very polite person so I assume that’s a phrase he uses with anyone. But I’m wondering, since we’re both very busy people if it’s just a friend thing to spend so much time with a female friend late at night during the week?
    At the beginning we both tried to make our meetings a group thing but it never worked out and we always ended alone. Now we don’t bother anymore.

    We did talk about a possible relationship very early in the friendship because both of our groups of friends and family started teasing us about each other and why we aren’t a couple yet. But he said he’d never start anything with another “lawyer” because he assumes it’d be too boring later in the relationship if both people have the same job.
    Back then I didn’t mind but now I am slowly but surely falling for him because he notices and remembers all the little things of my part of the conversations, his politeness, his mentioning of my name, his subtle compliments related to my character. I feel very comfortable with him.
    He always comes up with these great things to do, spontaneously, although it is always me who suggests we should do something, or starts another text conversation. If I don’t text anything for a couple of days, nothing comes from him.
    On the other hand, he invited me one week before his house warming party over to cook dinner together and watch a movie. Also he insisted to come to my birthday party “whether I wanted or not” and sent me a very nice and long birthday mail while I was on vacation, although he didn’t have any internet due to him moving to another apartment.
    Right now both our schedules picked up and he still has no internet, so I understand, he won’t write to me, but he’s taking more and more time to even answer the most simple texts and we only see each other when we set up a meeting.
    Even so, he subtly started giving me compliments for my looks on three different occasions and put his arm around me when we were sitting in a cold train station late at night. He still is single, btw.

    I am very confused as to figure out, whether he is just a very nice guy who likes the flirt – yet he says he can be shy, which I don’t really believe, because he is very outgoing - or whether he likes me, because we do so much together.
    I am afraid to ask since he said he doesn’t want to start anything with another “lawyer”.

    Sorry, that this is so long!
    I hope you guys can help me figure this guy out.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    1,178
    I'm sure you could convince him that having a similar job doesn't make the relationship too boring... if he is interested in you in that way, that is. He definitely seems to like you a lot but considering what he had said earlier he might just be a proof that some men really have a "friendzone".

    Your best bet may be stepping up the flirting a bit and ask him out on a date. What have you got to lose? As long as you don't over do it, it would hardly be a friendship breaker if he turns you down.

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