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Thread: 2 Years 2 Long.. ?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Toronto, Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    2

    2 Years 2 Long.. ?

    Am new at this..but was hoping I could get some advice on a on-going...situation.

    Two years ago I met someone, I had just left a serious relationship and he hadnt' had one before [serious relationship]. But from the moment we saw eachother that was it. We both wanted to know eachother, and try things out with eachother. From the moment we started talking to eachother we were comfortable and close. Which is something that is very hard for him..which i always found odd then.

    Anyways we started a relationship, it was perfect..when we didn't fight. We ended up fighting a lot, there was always something. He was very jelous and stuborn, and sometimes just irrational. But no matter how much we faught, no matter what it was, we just cudnt keep it up and oddly enough would end up being 10 times closer to eachother then before. Every fight ended up in him opening up and me opening up and ..well yeah we would be closer then before. But still hit the fan, he had cheated once, and one time is one time to many, he didnt sleep with her but went on a date i believe.

    He was getting scared I could tell, the closer he got and the more he felt the more scared he got, its so hard to explain. We broke up and he started seeing someone else, but while he was with her ..we were still together pretty much, we saw eachother, we went out and did things together, we acted like a cuple with frinds and ppl, we fooled around with eachother but have never slept together though. It was like we never broke up but even though we were not tech, in a relationship we were even closer then when we were in one?

    He was going though a lot of stuff and there was a lot of things he needed to work on, which i had told him b4 but these were things he knew. He always came to me, b4 family and frnds. And the same could be said about me. We were eachother rock i guess.

    This lasted 9 months, I felt terrible for this girl, and we would fight all the time during the 9 months but like i said no matter what the fight was we wud never stay mad, we wud open up and be even closer then b4. He only seen this girl once a week, she was quite a bit younger, i new the only time he seen her was to sleep with her,he wasnt gunna get anything out of me no matter how much i loved him..we went together..if that makes any sence. He didn't want to see her more then that, he had told me he cared for me more then her, but until he worked on things i wasnt going to take him back, He went into therapy which comeing from him is a miracle , i was the only one who knew/knows.

    Later on he had planned a meeting for me and him which ended up him admitting he loved me. It was sumthing big b/c he has never told that to anyone before, i was elated but i felt terrible b/c i had just i guess u can say fooled around with sumone we both new. But again the fight never lasted, i didn't even like this person and i still don't i was being an idiot over everything and him having his gf, i guess i didn't think it was fair, it got to me so much.

    But finally after the 9 months i told him i cudnt do it anymore. This sherade of not having a relationship but acting like a cuple had to end. It wasnt fair to anyone. We faught our last fight..and it was the worst one. We had faught SOO many times b4 but this one was deep. He went though family stuff and i tryed seeing someone else, we didn't talk for a few months but recently we seen eachother again at a gathering..and of course it was instant..I don't know what to do I love him, the feeling i have with him i have never had with anyone else, it's love but its more? I feel open, and relaxed and more comfertable with him then anyone. But i also feel stability, which to me makes no sence i guess b/c we faught a lot...and the mess we went thru all that time but i do..I know he loves me and feels the same i just don't know what to do at all.


    Sorry for the novel of a post its just sumthing i really need help with, i havnt gone to anyone about..thank you so much to anybody who replys


    And what made it a lil worse is hes not with that girl

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    288
    Weigh the value of your relationship against all of the negatives you will have to endure (fighting, etc.) and make a decision. Odds are he will not change his base behavior that much, so keep that in mind.

    ~Sphinx

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