Hey, I am new here... I searched for an advice forum on google and this was the first site I am hoping I can find some support and help here. Here it goes....
I am twenty two years old, and got out of a 3 year relationship about 6-7 months ago. It turned out that "the love of my life" was actually cheating on me, doing online dating sites, etc... I eventually caught on, and we broke up shortly after that. I felt like my world was coming down around me in the most horrible way. I attempted to kill myself and was brought to the Hospital, from there I was sent to Mental Health for some "treatment" long story short, did more damage than it did good.
I started school shortly after, and through school met another girl. She caught my eye the very first day, it truly was "love at first sight" we both explained to each other how we were interested in each other, and liked each other. More months went on, and we started to hang out. In the past month though, we have been telling each other that we love each other (she is my age as well)
We talk sexually a lot, and I mean a lot (made me feel uncomfortable at first) because I was starting to feel used for sexual pleasure... She killed those feelings by spending time with me, the way we hug each other, etc.
Couple nights ago, I went and saw her. We went out for coffee, sat in the car overlooking the city @ night, and just spent time together listening to the radio and she laid in my arms, we kissed, fooled around a bit, etc...
Yesterday, we had the greatest convo all day, talked more about how amazing the night was, how much we love each other, and how when we are together how amazing it will be. Last night, I had a few beers in me, and a friend came over with some stuff, we ended up doing it. I got paranoid, and came clean to her about it. (First time doing it do, I have no idea what came over me to do it) but I told her, and she instantly refused to talk to me.
All the "love" was thrown out the window. She says she is scared, that she is having a hard time trust now... and I just am heartbroken.
I have no idea how to talk to her, I've apologized and apologized, I've tried to explain but nothing is really ... fixing it. It's just killing me and eating me up inside.
Any advice would be great...
Or opinions on what I should do.