Age difference

[Sandman]

I met this really nice girl at my job I just started. When I first laid my eyes on her my heart damn near jumped out of my chest. She is so beautiful and so sweet, I never thought she would even give me the time of day. I would go out of my way just to talk to her, and I thought to myself that she problably thought I was a creep.

Last Wednesday I was transfered to a different store, and by Friday out of the blue she sent me a text message. She problably got my number from work. Well we texted and text and we didn't even talk over the phone. We must of exchange over 200 texts. She is 20 and I am 29, and she was interested in me, I would of never though of such a thing of such a beautiful woman. But I never took it seriously because of her age.

Well we went on a date last Sunday and it went so well, better infact we had so much in common. I felt so old sitting next to her, and I felt a little strange, but other than that it went awesome. We kissed and held hands, and we told each other how attracted we were to eachother.

I just felt strange about the age difference, and how can I get past this before I destroy what can be a wonderful relationship?

[TAVS]

It's certainly on a person-by-person basis; but at 20 she probably doesnt have a clear picture of what she wants out of life. Chances are you're headed for heartache.

[Sandman]

Oh believe me I am fully aware of the heart ache issue, and although I really want to take this relationship seriously, I really see this as a spring fling. we also agreed to put friendship above everything, so if it all goes to hell we can just fall back on that.

What ever happends happends, and if it doesn't then it doesn't. I just hope I know what I'm doing. It just feels so good though.

[DPR417]

Another problem I see is you "putting all your eggs in one basket" and missing the chance to meet somone who is ready for the same things you are.

I am your age and stay in the 24-27 year age range...so I would keep her as friend and leave it at that.

Good Luck

[Sandman]

Another problem I see is you "putting all your eggs in one basket" and missing the chance to meet somone who is ready for the same things you are.

Not sure what you mean, it's not like I was looking for a 20yr old woman specificly. I wasn't even looking to begin with. This was a spur of the moment thing.

[Edit] I usually stay with in the 25-32 age groups myself, I just never thought I would ever get a chance like this...It's sureal.

[Gigabitch]

we also agreed to put friendship above everything, so if it all goes to hell we can just fall back on that.

Yeah, let us know how that works out, will ya?

[Sandman]

Will do. My phone is like blowing up with Texts from her right now....LOL

[Gigabitch]

Hey, be careful, okay? She's just a kid. Her little world probably revolves around you right now.

It's a lot of responsibility.

[Sandman]

Hey, be careful, okay? She's just a kid. Her little world probably revolves around you right now.

It's a lot of responsibility.

Very good point, I will definatly keep that in mind.

[lovesjoyajm]

Hey Sandman,
Funny this should come up again (but in reverse). I'm 20 and developed a bit of a crush on a 29-year-old guy. We've also kissed and held hands and in general let each other know we're interested, although I won't see him again until I go overseas in 5 months. But like everyone said, be careful, because whether you realize it or not, you are probably looking for different things in life and in relationships. I wish you the best of luck though!!

[PTC03]

I've dated guys between the ages on 21 and 31 in the last year. (I am 22) Things did not go well with the 31 year old, but that was becuase he was a liar and a cheater... it had nothing to do with his age. I know some girls who are even younger than me who are married or engaged, while some older girls are still in a wild party phase. It just depends on the person. The only advice I have for you is to move slow so neither of you gets hurt. Talk about your expectations and make sure you are looking for the same thing. I firmly believe that the most important thing in a new relationship is communication!

[clynn]

Why don't you just go for it....time will tell as you get to know her better.

[Sandman]

Her and I get along very well, and I do think we know what the odds are. She is very carefull and she's not stupid. We are just friends for now, and it just looks like no one is really there for her. We have put friendship above everything.

The really hard thing is that I have developed stong feelings for her, and I am deeply infatuated by her. She has been through a lot in her life, and she has a lot of history. All she really needs is someone to just talk to, and I enjoy listening to her.

I may be 29, but my mental age is around 22, and I am a late bloomer. I wish I had the common sense that she has. I married at a early age, and divorced. I have a 2 year old daughter, and I have explained all this to her and she has no problem with that. Wouldn't that scare someone at that age away?

[lovesjoyajm]

Honestly, it worries me more that she's not concerned with you having a daughter. I once got an email from someone who had seen my profile on Myspace and he asked if I would be freaked out by dating a 25-year-old with a kid (that being himself, of course). Apart from the fact that I wouldn't really consider dating someone I met online, the age thing wasn't an issue - I just couldn't imagine myself, a 20-year-old college girl, trying to play the role of mother (on some level) to someone else's kid. Maybe it's because I've never been in a relationship, but I really think that's too much for someone.
I admire her for trying, and I admire you for being sensitive to how this is for her, but it seems like, especially with your having a daughter, that a relationship with her would be asking her to sacrifice her whole young-adulthood. It seems like a problem to me - sorry if that seems harsh!

[King Zarathu]

I've dated somebody who was 35 once, and we were both looking for different things. That was 10 years ago.

The flaming can begin...now.