Hi,
I have an off-the wall question. I fell for a guy as he did for me in a span of 2 months last summer.... Then I got scared, sent him a stupid email (he was overseas on a vacation) and he wrote me off (he didn't live in my hometown although his family does). We are not holding grudges, he's a good guy and I'm a good girl...and he said that I scared him away...understandably so, I did. I realized that later, learned a lot from my behaviour and once things settled in my life (which was chaotic and really stressful at the time) was able to gain some good perspective on things. I went out, flirted online...everything was fine until Valentine's Day. Then I got extremely 'weirded' out. His bday was right around the corner and I sent him an ecard and he thanked me for remembering. Last summer, we actually only spent a whole 10 days together and then wrote for 2 months while he was away...then he invited me to go to his city but things fell apart over email. But during those 10 days things got really intense..he saw himself getting attached to me and I think we both got scared over how quickly the whole thing happened. The point is, it's 6 months later and I have no closure on this issue - the guy changed me in every possible way - he's opened me up to love again, he broke down the fear I had of intimacy and he made me absolutely crazy. I have never felt that way before (I'm 31, he's 30)...I've been with a really bad player for 4 years (my first) and he's left some bad scars (which was a long time ago) and now I'm realizing this guy actually mended these scars away. I know that you take away something from every relationship - my point is, we never gave this relationship a chance. I told him in the end that what makes me sad is that we will never know what would happen (as he refused to see me when he came back). He said that he was sure he would see me the next time he was in town...but maybe he was just trying to make it easier on me....he told me that he wouldn't judge me for what I did in the future (but that he wouldn't forget either) ...and he said that probably the reason I reacted that way (we met through my brother) was because I haven't had guys pay that much attention to me in a long time (which was true)..and he said that we were friends...Anyway, it's been 6mo and every night I go to bed and I keep hoping that one day I'll get a phone call saying..."come to Cali for a week". I dated guys since him (nothing serious), just to force myself to go out, but I can't beat him out of my head. All I want is to find out for sure if we would be compatible...that's ALL. So I wrote him an email (which I haven't sent) telling him just that...thanking him for opening me up to love again and for breaking down my fear of intimacy and for changing me for the better. I realized he's been pivotal in my life..am I totally crazy for wanting him to know that?I mean, men especially...if you got an email from a girl you really liked telling you these feelings 6 months later but who disappointed you (he said that what I wrote to him over email last summer reminded him of an ex which is why he broke it off) would you think she was completely 'off the wagon' so to speak, to say that to you?
Thanks any input here would be appreciated...
Thanks all...these posts are wonderful when you're beating your head against the wall.