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Thread: Just seeking advice

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
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    Just seeking advice

    Hi first off my name is Brandon and this is my first post. I'm 23 years old and Ive been dating my girlfriend for almost 7 months now. It got really serious really fast. I live about 2 hours away and go to school. She works back home, and I go almost every weekend home to see her. I go every break that I get too. Well like I said we got really serious really fast, and we often talk about getting married, and more importantly her moving out here with me soon. Well 2 weekends ago we got into a huge fight when we were out drinking. We were both super drunk and I ended up yelling at her. We broke up that night, but later that evening she ended up picking me up and I spent the night. We got back together that morning, but I had to leave the following day, and I was to be gone 2 weeks this time. Well the whole past week was spent between everything being ok and everything not. She said no one has ever yelled at her before and she thinks of me alittle differently now. Needless to say she became more and more distant as the week went on. (We used to text each other like crazy before) Then on saturday, she didnt talk to me at all except a few one liner texts. This continued on into today, so I finally sent her text explaining how i felt and how i noticed all this. She replied back with she had bigger fish to fry. She said that her little brother was going to jail. She then said that she needed a break from us that she's see me friday and we'd talk. I was just wondering what I'm supposed to think? I know I should give her space all week, and I will. I just can't keep from thinking that she is going to break up with and the thought of losing her makes me sick and lose sleep. Sorry for the length of this post. I was just seeing what you guys think. Thank you.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
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    7
    Being someone who did the distance thign for a long time, I understand that when the texts stop coming, you start worrying that soemthing is wrong. More often than nto however, we jsut forget that the people we love do have a life away fro mus. Dont get too hung up on it. Make sure she knows you are sorry for the yelling, but I think you two will be fine.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
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    i would definitely have the exact same anxious thoughts that you are having if my bf said this to me, so i totally sympathize, but, thinking rationally, your yelling at her once during a drunken fight is really not enough of a reason for her to end the relationship- all couples fight sometimes and unfortunately yelling is often involved during arguments (i guess this could be depending on what you said when you yelled, i don't know?)- i also seriously doubt if no one has ever yelled at her before, she was probably just upset when she said that- as long as you apologized and she forgave you for it, i would see this as a separate issue from what is going on with her family. for now, all you can do is take what she said at face value- definitely do not call her a lot apologizing or asking for clarification, etc., as this will have the effect of pushing her away. good luck with the situation- i hope it all works out!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
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    Ok so here is the update. I did go home on friday and we went out to dinner. She somewhat acted like things were normal. I was the one that was different I guess and I have no idea why. Like I didnt pull my hand out of my jacket when she went to hold my hand and everything. We eventually went back to her place and talked somewhat about the situation but nothing really got resolved. We woke up the next day and I was still being distant. I guess I was just upset that nothing really got resolved. Then she told me she was going to her friend's sisters softball game. I was actually offended because Im only home 2 days and she was going to do this and she already had plans for that night for some benefit thing. We did end up talking about how we both felt. She ended up crying at first, but then we hugged and kissed and it seemed like everything might be ok afterall. Then she went to the game anyways. I was a little upset, but ok I guess. She then was out all night though and I couldnt get ahold of her until she called me at like 2 am to come over. She was drunk. I was upset so I just went to sleep. She cuddled with me all night and in the morning, but I was still upset I guess. She went to work and I didnt see her until that evening which was the last day I would be home. She just immeaditely went to sleep. She then told me I could leave whenever. I then forced us to talk and it was pretty productive. I mean we never ever talk about issues. I just think maybe there was too many at this point. She said that she wanted to break up for awhile and she just needed some time apart. She was completely crying at this point so I was confused. She said that she still wanted to talk and that if she figured anything out or if i figure anything out to let one another know. Then I left and came back out here. She texted me alittle last night. So should I just let it go? I mean I dont really know what my options are. Thank you again.

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