I can't get over the fact that this girl just wants to be friends?

**Reeses** · 05-03-11, 11:21 AM

I've known this girl for a while now and starting having feelings for her last winter. I've asked her out before and confessed through a letter I wrote to her (explaining my feelings), and I can tell that she doesn't like me back and just wants to be friends (like we've been for about a year). That was two weeks ago, but I still can't get over her no matter how hard I try.

I feel like I still have a chance but I know I don't. I've admitted that the best thing for me is to move on, but then I kid myself, saying that "Hey maybe she'll say yes". Granted I don't think about her as much now, but I still like her (a lot). She's one of those girls who always seem really happy and flirty all the time, and I can't deal with these mixed signals anymore. She's still pretty much friendly to me, but I just don't know what to do from here; do I try again?

There's one part of me that expects a "Yes" from her (because she never really told me what she felt), but the other just says I'm stupid for even trying again. What do I do?

PS Sorry for rambling

**broken9** · 05-03-11, 12:35 PM

you said it yourself.. "and I can tell that she doesn't like me back and just wants to be friends" I bet you didnt even realize that came out of your mind... if a girl likes you... she will let you know MOSTLY if you say she is flirty and happy all the time, so shes not shy... I know it hurts like a bitch... maybe tell us what she told you when you asked her out?

**Reeses** · 05-03-11, 12:45 PM

When I asked her out it was on the phone (yes I know... kind of pathetic, but the time seemed right). I asked her if she wanted to see a movie the following saturday (like 3 days from then). She said ok, though I think it was because she saw it as like a friendly gathering, not a date. She canceled last minute.

**MerryH** · 05-03-11, 12:56 PM

If she wanted to be with you, she would have said something in the two weeks since you poured your heart out. Stop kidding yourself. Just get it out of your head that maybe she'll come around. Don't try again. You pretty much went to an extreme by writing her that letter. There's nowhere to go from there.

You should probably stop being friends with her so you can move on.

**broken9** · 05-03-11, 01:00 PM

no I mean like after she read the letter what did she say?

**Reeses** · 05-03-11, 01:12 PM

she was just very quiet the next few days.

**broken9** · 05-03-11, 01:27 PM

look... if you want her to look at you like that, step out of the friend zone NOW... right now she doesnt look at you like that b/c you're like a brother to her... and DONT ask her again... dont smother her... theres nothing worse than that... start from zero... date other girls... be the flirty type of friend BUT dont push it, dont make nasty jokes or anything... I mean now she knows you like her... and believe it or not NO ONE wants to lose an admirer regardless of who the admirer is... if you pretend to not give a damn about how she feels about you... she will start thinking... "does he still like me"... ofcourse always be sweet to her... but what im trying to say is... stop being her brother and be a guyfriend who could be her future boyfriend... but it takes time so ask yourself if its worth it...

**MerryH** · 05-03-11, 01:45 PM

Originally Posted by broken9

believe it or not NO ONE wants to lose an admirer regardless of who the admirer is.

Untrue.

Originally Posted by broken9

be a guyfriend who could be her future boyfriend

OP, don't do this to yourself. Don't hang around her hoping that one day she'll come around. If you want to be her friend, then be a friend who doesn't want anything from her.

**broken9** · 05-03-11, 01:53 PM

Originally Posted by MerryH

Untrue.

OP, don't do this to yourself. Don't hang around her hoping that one day she'll come around. If you want to be her friend, then be a friend who doesn't want anything from her.

the thing is.. he doesnt want to be her friend he wants more... I was just telling him what he could do if he absolutelly wants her...

**Reeses** · 05-03-11, 02:16 PM

well i don't know if i want to pursue her or not... it'd be nice if it could work out but i dunno if it would.

**MerryH** · 05-03-11, 02:57 PM

Originally Posted by broken9

the thing is.. he doesnt want to be her friend he wants more.

Yeah, I get it. I just think it's shitty to pretend to be platonic friends with someone when you're just doing it because you want to date them. It's insincere and kind of pathetic.

**broken9** · 05-03-11, 03:29 PM

Originally Posted by Reeses

well i don't know if i want to pursue her or not...

get your pride on and move on =]

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